[SIGNED perm] Ryan Porteous

I have to say, I dont really like friends but that did make me chuckle.

 

Pretty niche, Id imagine youd need good drugs to get you through that night.

If you got hold of your Grandads LPs you could cut them up like early Hip Hop DJs did with 'Good Times' by Chic and create a new sub genere.

 

Crikey, you're up early!

 

He’d just got in from a massive Bagpipe Techno night.

 

Ha ha , I’m in Cambodia , 7 hours ahead . Which means I will hear the result against Reading Saturday morning but I won’t spoil it for all by telling the result.

 

What are you doing there ? Holiday, work or living there ?

 

It's called Bag-Hop.

 

Just having a quick break out here, blowing off the winter cobwebs.

 

That's OK. Nobody wants to be your friend.

 

Porteous currently holds the highest goals to game ratio (100%) in the history of the club.

Canny signing it looks.

 

He was excellent. Absolutely ripped into Martins after 3 minutes for not being alert so he’s not afraid to speak his mind.

Solid debut.

 

Give him the armband.

 

Spoke pretty well after the match to the official site reporter on the touchline, too - definitely didn't come across as a classic footballing thicko.

 

Definitely my man of the match. Very confident debut - hope he keeps it up.

 

Handsome, attacks set pieces, massive sh!thouse.

The signing of the season.

 

It’s weird seeing a player for us that isn’t scared of the ball, or who aimlessly hoofs it away, or tries to dribble past someone on the half way line. Who actually wants the ball and has some confidence. The ‘this **** is easy’ look on his face when heading in from the corner was lovely.

I’ll give it a month before he’s a emotional wreck out there.

 

Tbh I didn't even know they had Scottish footballers. You live and learn.

 

'Footballers' is too strong a word