Things you hate III

Clients

 

Still, they'll like Costa Rica. It's beautiful there...

 

There isn't enough to justify putting the dishwasher on. Then you wait and there's too much to fit the last few bits in. Life is too cruel.

Don't tell me it's a first world problem.

 

I here you! Dishwasher Jenga. Everybody fills up the dishwasher and f’s off. You come along with a single plate or cup and there’s no room. You have two choices:

Either
1) take time to re-load the dishwasher correctly in the hope that you’re object will squeeze in
Or
2) insert the tablet, start the dishwasher and accept that you’ll have to wash yours by hand

 

Colds.

Specifically the one I have at the moment which has decided to deposit green stuff at the back of my throat and chest which is making me cough mainly when I want to get to sleep.

Upside is Sainsburys cough syrup tastes like liquid marzipan.

 

Baby gender reveal ceremonies with balloons or exploding golf balls etc.

If you're not waiting for the birth like a normal person,at least have a private respectable moment between the pair of you.

 

My Mrs gave birth to our first 2 at Northwick Park. They refused to tell us the sex of the babies beforehand.

 

This is the way it should be done:

 

Absolute reverse here, they tell you without even asking if you want to know.

 

My manager.

Getting all worked up about top, top dignitaries being shown around. It’s the local fcking MP. He’ll turn up at any freebie to raise his profile.

Also, when she started we had a discussion about how she gets offended by being called Mrs, even when it mistakenly by people she has only just met. Ironically though, still uses her ex-husband’s surname.......... baffling!

 

The morons driving to work today.

I see two cars nose to nose up ahead in a section with parked cars either side making it a single track road. Deciding which one of them should reverse so I stop at the last passing place before this blockage.
Grey MPV and black BMW decide that after 30secs they can't wait anymore so overtake me and pile into the blockage whilst beeping me for my courtesy.
Much weaving and reversing later the blockage is eventually cleared.

 

I decided to use my daughters car for the commute today as it needs a run now and again. I'm really surprised that people can treat you differently on the road depending what car your driving. Morons indeed.

 

Seriously? Surely everyone expects that (say) drivers of white vans, people driving “Chelsea tractors”, or those in souped up boy racer cars will drive in a certain way?

 

On narrow country roads with only just about enough space for two cars to pass and no dividing white line down the middle, those motorists (and especially white van driving motorists) who barrel along towards you full speed right down the centre of the road without even the slightest slow down, forcing you to take whatever emergency evasion you can.

 

Yep that's pretty much it. The meistermobile whilst small does have bloody bright LEDs at the front so there's no excuse. no-one seems to understand that the car travelling up the hill has the priority either.
German cars and MPVs are the worst but then in rush hour that;s about every car.

 

Looking at my air freshener, it says it is 4-in-1.
1. Eliminates odours.
2. Premium Fragrance
3. Lasts for one hour.
4. Works in seconds.

That is not 4-in-1. That is all the same thing - being an air freshener. Stop it.

 

Air freshners.

If something stinks, making it smell of something else doesn't solve the problem. Give that something a wash and a good airing.

 

I think you are missing the point of air fresheners...

 

Ticket touts

Do they all go to evening school to practice that weasily voice? ‘anybody wanna ticket’.

They shouldn’t even have tickets to sell and no, I haven’t got a spare one you weasily little ****r.

 

Andy Caroll

 

Agreed.

Has he done something today in particular?

 

If it hadn’t been for ticket touts my dear old Dad and I would not have got to see us lose in the 84 Cup Final.

 

This is the tyranny of big cars. Faced with the choice of what to do about increasing girth and decreasing fitness every chimp on the road seems to be choosing a fat arsed car for their fat arse. Mr Toad’s every single one of them.

 

Whilst I step back from destroying your memory of the cup final and avoiding any insult to your dad. I’m talking about current times. Supposedly the only place you can buy tickets is from the club on a one ticket per fan ID basis, so therefore the touts should not have any. How can you be sure that their product is genuine? It may not get passed the scanner at the gate. What if you get in but the seat is already taken? I wouldn’t trust them and their Weasily ways.

 

Fair enough.

 

I'm sure they respect consumer rights by offering a comprehensive complaints process and refunds where appropriate.

 

Yeah they do...most offer a double-backed gurantee Refund and Replace.

 

People who hold their mobile phone like a waiter holds a drinks tray at a reception.

Obviously this requires them to have it on speaker.

Makes me want to slap it out of their hands and slap some sense into them. People who have mobiles are no longer likely to be important so why the need to attract attention. My Mate's 12 year old daughter has one.

 

Bernard Jenkin.
What a ****.

 

Fairy nuff - but his missus is a real charmer.

 

Watford playing in lancashire...... cursed

 

Trump.

Does he just say stupid **** because he wants another world war??

 

He's only doing what he said in his election promise, blame the ****s that voted him in.

Americans.