Bargain Hunt

Bad News: It's a double McWitch Special
Good News: It was on in June so I can port over the previous write-up with a few suitable amendments.

More time for guffawing and tutting.

What a naff opening.

McWitch. Dully and Squeak. Oh dear.

Blue girls, er you know, like, like, you know like.

Dully has got herself 2 for double-teaming later.

Beswick old man. Probably will do OK.

If the Sueak took his neckerchief off would his head fall off.

 

=== I can pore over the previous write-up with a few suitable amendments

ha! vg.

Ffs. Danny on again. wtf is this, Diversity Week?
recording to watch later so i can skip the tw*t.
which will also allow for extended freezeframing over the agreeably Katie Melua-esque Bluebird...

 

LOL the Wulrus. She hates it but they pobably buy.

She will violently drain them later.

Walrus bought.

Their equipment won't function for a week after.

 

Squeak squeak print squeak.

Pure tat. Wonderful. 85 LOL.

Dogwhistle manhandling the young laydees.

God, more sh1tty luggage.

These things squeak tell a story squeak.

 

We've got a massive horn, snigger.

"There is no messing with you guys" as she licks her lips.

She's going to turn up the heat and get serious. Gulp.

 

Who are the Gulls?

 

Picard. Make it so.

McWitch is wearing her witch's cape.

Her eyes light up over the cauldron.

"It's right up your street"

 

A classic piece of Squeak binware for BB.

 

Trendy London folding money time.

Dully gropey.

Dreadful BB. It bombs. They really will get it later,

Huh huh huh huh huh

 

Is it a classic squeak masterclass?

Could be.

Yup, a Grand Slam. LOL.

 

Looks a Milf glamourpuss in the next group. Not your type Clive.

Ah, huh-huh-huh.

She was stalked until she gave in.

 

Depends on the pointiness of her hooter...

 

Little and Large as the Blues. He must get back ache.

 

"It's a bit knackered". Is he referring to Dully.

 

Hail Bargain Hunt

 

Make squeak, glass breaks. Aural torture.

Screech lantern slides. Arrrgghhh.

Squeak priiice squeak.

 

That single boxing glove is still unsold.

She's done them over the inkwell. Crafty old dear.

 

What Sally wants, Sally gets, no doubt.

 

Surely that Wedgewood Olympic plate will make a profit. Box and papers too. Nailed on surely.

Picard is back.

Silver rimmed masturbatory accessory.

Sally not keen on the Mdina. 15 notes is a Bargain.

 

Is that the other half to the other bronze?

Found in a bin as usual.

Chinese bronze from a Chinese bin.

 

Ben Stiller looks excited with a bit of Hugh Grant.

Sally knows her stuff. Golden Gavel.

Ben is going to be mercilessly destroyed tonight.

 

Plate squeaks a profit, literally.

Another Danny Disaster. LOL.

Apart from a 2 quid plate profit. It's been a fantastic Masterclass again. Take a bow Dustbin Dan.

 

Danny Disasterclass.

 

BBC approved preamble:
London
Bargain HuntSeries 47-49 (50-Minute Versions)
https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m000r77s
Today’s Bargain Hunt comes from London’s vibrant Portobello Road in Notting Hill. The reds and blues scour the market with experts Catherine Southon and Danny Sebastian in the hope of finding three items that might make a profit at auction. Anita Manning is today’s presenter, but can the people of Portobello Road help her identify a mystery item?

The Translation:
After watching Quatermass and the Pit, McWitch, dressed in her finest Sylvester McCoy outfit, decides to hop on her broomstick and fly down to Notting Hill for some ghoulish fun. Unfortunately, it's chock full of the Curtis/Gove/Cameron set which gave us such a truly representative view of the upper-middle classes slumming it in the eponymous documentary. Truly horrifying. Helping her scare off the populace down Portobello Road are the very dull and posh Catherine Southon and Danny Falsetto Sebastian, King of the Bins of London. Oh, yeah, there's also the Carnival too.

Oh, by the, way it's a 50 minute double header which is just far too rushed. Ding thump next.

The Staff:
[Gaffer] Anita McWitch Manning
[Red Team Expert] Hyperdull uber-posh Catherine Southon, has an eye for 2 young men, the Liz Truss of the Auction world
[Blue Team Expert] Danny Rumpelstiltsqueak Sebastian, trying to turn your rubbish into Gold.
[Auctioneer] Mark Picard Longson, make it so
[Auction Location] London Auctions, Chiswick
(Miserlin Rating: Unlisted)



The Teams 1:
[Red Team] Male friends, one is a Spurs supporting supermarket employee. Dully has her eye on them for some antique tuition later. They could well be banging some old drawers later.
[Blue Team] Female friends since school, ok yar, you know we like you know do some coding yeah. Yeah right. Spoilt Daddy's little princesses no doubt.



The Shopping 1:
Reds: Beswick Mr Peggotty tea pot (15) good chance, Walrus pottery decanter (20) also a chance, Brass car horn (13) not overspent. All 3 things that dull Catherine didn't like.
Blues: Printer's case of hardwood letters (85) overspent, Houghton-Butcher camera and case (35) got a chance, Vintage leather travel case (60) might struggle.

The Auction 1:
Reds: Beswick Mr Peggotty tea pot (profit), Walrus pottery decanter (loss), Brass car horn (profit).
Dully's BB is a silver-plated soup tureen, cauldron shaped, McWitch heartily approves (85), 30-50, probably overspent, LOL, REJECTED, 55, a dud for dully, LOL.
Blues: Printer's block of hardwood letters (big loss), Houghton-Butcher camera (loss), Vintage leather travel case (biggish loss)
Squeak's BB is a sad donkey bronze ink well set, not quite his usual tat (35), 60-90, seems he may have picked a bargain for once, 30, nope, a squeaky dud. A Grand Slam of losses. Very impressive.



The Aftermath 1:
Catherine Southon is dreadful. Poo-pooing al the Reds items, they almost all made a profit, and then buying dull, clunking, loss maker, in a Auction room potentially dripping in money. She will Peg her 2 boys back later for being disobedient Meanwhile, it's a squeaky Grand Slam aha-ha-ha LOL. Danny Disasterclass.



The Hi-Kick 1:
Not shown in this real unsatisfactory mish-mash edit.

The Distraction:
A mystery item that looks like something to stir her cauldron with, or maybe it's a pointing stick to strike dead any non-pagans. I bet it's a vintage surveyor's stick. Ah the spear bit turns into scissors. You didn't show us that before, did you. It's a botanist's stick. Still handy for McWitch to cut things for adding to her potion making.



The Teams 2:
[Red Team] Perfect partners Ken Stiller and Milf Barbie, whose Daddy collects Antiques. Dully will have to take a backseat.
[Blue Team] Perfect partners Little and Large, wow, he is tall.



The Shopping 2:
Reds: Blue scent bottle (150) well overspent, silver match striker (18) should make a profit, rare Dublin silver port decanter label (30) big bargain,
Blues: Wedgwood 1972 Olympic commemorative plate (8) surely a profit, Vintage photographic slides (70) a chance, Royal Artillery Standish (78) might struggle.

The Auction 2:
Reds: Blue scent bottle (massive profit), silver match striker (profit) surely a GG now, rare Dublin silver port decanter label (profit), Golden Gavel!!!
Dully's BB 1960s Gary Mdina glass vase (15), 40-60, should make money, 25, tenner profit. Good find Dully.



Blues: Wedgwood 1972 Olympic commemorative plate (small profit), Vintage photographic slides (big loss), Royal Artillery Standish (loss)
Squeak's BB is another bronze incense burner (74), seems pricey, it might make it, 60, another Squeak Dud. Well done, keep it up. LOL.



The Aftermath 2:
Well, Reds bought really well, that scent bottle and Dublin silver were real finds. Blue's items were real punts which they overpaid for. Good old Helium Boy. Another loss. How does he do it. Keep on LOLing.



The Hi-Kick 2:
Stand indoor kick. McWitch barely tries, you would think she would levitate from the ground. Really feeble effort with only Squeak and Blue bloke actually trying. Dully just raises her arm without elevating her leg. Tut-tut.

 

Startlingly good display by the Reds there.
That sharp, nasty-if-sexy blonde does look like someone who knows how to sniff out treasure.
#EssexishGoldDiggerAlert
Has Clive given his verdict on that goldsniffing nose, though?

 

sunday...

How can *anything* George II be bought for only £40?!

 

a shocking Danny episode.
am rubbing eyes in disbelief.
will leave Reg to deliver the news.

 

This whole episode will boggle minds.

Turtlehead beaming. Hideous sight.

 

Ha!
Even the crossed hammers behind him look like ideal fascist insignia. (see also: West Ham Utd)

 

Oh Live and Let Diiiiiiiiiiie yeah!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Mr Big & Tee-Hee



Greg Davies & Squeak squeak squeak ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

 

The Squeak squarks over that scent bottle.

 

Good to see they're re-making The Daleks' Master Plan with a disfigured Sylvester McCoy:

 

@wfcmoog You have to watch this one, it's raining money. Even Squeakpants is in the black.

 

Je t'aime. Oh God, I think I'm going to be sick.