Bargain Hunt

Lovely.
They can be 1963's reps.

 

Detling 12
Bargain Hunt Series 55
https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m000hbpz
Natasha Raskin Sharp and the teams are bargain hunting at the Detling Antique and Vintage Fair in Kent. The reds and the blues scour the stalls in their search for three money-making items, with Caroline Hawley and Raj Bisram to point them in the right direction. Natasha has a mystery item up her sleeve, but will any of the fairgoers be able to guess what it is?

The Translation:
Bountiful Kent, Detling Antique and Vintage Fair to be precise, and we always want precision when our presenter is around, Strict Natasha, the Archwarden of Tat probity. Pre-credits sequence involves Strict Natasha indulging in Eel fishing and gobbling a Gypsy Tart in Maidstone. Perhaps The Squeak knows all about these. Instead we have to settle for Dr Eeeee-vil and a Yorkshire Tart, Bawl of Jericho Hawley, in Spewchedelic Tart-an. Yes that does mean we need our heavy duty ear plugs. The Auction is with posh Irish Cliona Kilroy in upmarket Canterbury. Hopeful profits will be more plentiful than in favourite Misers Palaces of Newbury, Southsea, and anywhere up North.

The Staff:
[Gaffer] Strict Natasha Raskin Sharp, Glasgow Southside enforcer
[Red Team Expert] Caroline Domestos Hawley, kills all known profits, Thwack, DEAD, premiering an item from her Rimming London Mustard Gas Lachrymatory range of AyeByrne Tartan.
[Blue Team Expert] Raj Dr Evil Bisram
[Auctioneer] Cliona Kilroy
[Auction Location] Canterbury Auction Galleries
(Miserlin Rating: One Star, Approved, Unlisted)



The Teams:
[Red Team] Best Male Friends, the Minions.
(Challenge: Find in a study)
[Blue Team] Retired Mother and Film Extra i.e. Economically inactive, Daughter. The Old Maids.
(Challenge: Vintage puzzle or game)

The Shopping:
Reds: Canterbury West railway sign (95) ouch, A wooden box of Meccano (165) ouch, Boxed Mousie-Mousie game (1 Challenge) bargain.
Blues: Pair of concrete pigs (40) ouch, German brass inkwell (Challenge 16) OK, Chester silver sugar sifter and nurse's buckle (100) ouch ouch aaarrrrrrggghhhh.

The Distraction:
Mystery item time with Strict Natasha which means if you can't guess the precise Oxford Dictionary definition of the item at hand then it's a definite you are wrong. It's a Victorian toothbrush protector. Yes, it's that exciting.

​

The Auction:
Reds: Canterbury West railway sign (small loss), A wooden box of Meccano (huge loss), Boxed Mousie-Mousie game (good profit).
Foghorn's BB is a Birmingham silver and enamel topped travelling perfume bottle (20), 20-30, 50. Excellent profit from the cacophonous one.



Blues: Pair of concrete pigs (evens stevens), German brass inkwell (nice profit), Chester silver sugar sifter and nurse's buckle (large loss).
Raj's BB is a Chester silver stamp case (30), 20-30, 50. Great find Raj.



The Aftermath:
Tough auctioneer with very hard-nosed estimates. Some of the pessimism was justified but other items were severely undervalued. Despite Foghorn's decent BB it still wasn't enough to negate the disaster of the Meccano set and a 80+ loss results for the Reds. A large loss is about par for the course for Shrieky Blindus. The sight of her and 2 overweight men trying to rush and find their challenge with 4 mins to go was not a great spectacle. The Blues had more chance with Raj, but their insistence on Chester silver meant a mad rush and a hurried overspend on 2 unlinked items. However, the other items were OK and his very decent BB manages to drag the Blues to a small overall profit after the earlier disaster.



The Hi-Kick:
Standard indoor kick. What a mess. Strict Natasha is up hard and early and there's a right shambles from everyone else.

​

 

Doing what they do best. LOL.

 

hahahaa!

"Rimming London"
"Shrieky Blindus"

 

From Ghost of Barry Endean in the What Made Me Larf Today thread.

"Apparently genuine towbar adjustment instructions from Landrover Defender manual."

 

How cruel!
Well done

 

Hallmarking tips with Uncle Eric.

Large flustered Blue bird wading through the rubbish today.

Hanson on form.

Dodgy taches to the fore.

 

Some potential bargains here today.

Peter Mandelson Blue Bloke.

Eric banging with the blonde lady in the Assay office.

Big spend issues?

Even the cheap bowl makes a loss. LOL

Folly time with Chuck?

 

Uncle Eric's wet mullet is spoiling my lunch.

 

Those green glasses are ace!
Very Alsace: Riesling always goes into green. And Provence (for absinthe/fee verte).

 

Same so greasy

 

Hanson has delivered a classic folly

 

Maybe not!

Almost a folly, still a loss though.

Misers online auction again.

50 note BB from Plaidy. Will the skinflints shell out?

 

'it is a conversation piece' sez mr mullet of anatomical model.

yes, that conversation being 'wtf is that disgusting thing?'

Some sick tw*t will buy it, i suppose

haha, lost a fiver; good

 

Nicks steps are nice, but at 50 quid, I'd say they're risky

 

Well done Nick!

 

Telephone bidder. Bingo.

140 note profit. Superb.

 

lovely lovely unspoilt georgian thing from charles!

fck me, how can that be only that much?

 

Wowzers. Highlight of the show there from Nick. Excellent expertry

 

Top banana from Plaidy.

 

Eric unhappy with the choice of bonus buy

 

No wonder drew pritchard is always buying little ladders. What a result!
Well done Nick - a fave of this thread, i think we can all agree?

 

Nick is a nice guy who seems to genuinely want his teams to win.

 

Uncle Eric is obviously a fan of Frank Worthington.

 

BBC approved preamble:
Long Marston 19
Bargain Hunt Series 59
https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m0010l3d
Eric Knowles visits Birmingham Assay Office to discover how hallmarking works in the 21st century. The red and blue teams are on the hunt for profits in Long Marston with help from experts Charles Hanson and Nick Hall.

The Translation:
It's another Covid long-hair special, with Uncle Eric who has plenty up top and an unknown amount below, but we do know he loves a sausage. Joining him is Chuckie Hanson, showing us it's all Child's Play and Plaid Personified Hall, as they embark on a socially-distanced tat scrounge. So it'll be weird camera angles (tick), weird hair (tick), weird near-deserted indoor Antiques Centre (tick), and a desperate online Auction (tick). Talking of Auctions, there's a good chance it will be hosted and groomed by the Goggle-eyed transgressor Mark Ashley, in the Bard's Bigwood Nonce wing, all tagged up and on day-release.

The Staff:
[Gaffer] Uncle Eric Knowles, he loves a decent pork sausage
[Red Team Expert] Charles Madness, madness they call it madness Manson Hanson, the Galloping Gavellier
[Blue Team Expert] Nick Plaid All Over Hall
[Auctioneer] Mark Ashley, lurking at the playground fence near the wooded glade with the Werthers Originals patiently waiting to share his exquisite butter candy
[Auction Location] Bigwood Fine Art Auctioneers, Stratford-upon-Avon
(Miserlin Rating: Unlisted)



The Teams:
[Red Team] Middle-aged married couple. Ennui is their best friend.
(Challenge: Timepiece)
[Blue Team] Mixed-sex partners who've been together for 3 years. She obviously enjoys her food and he's a ringer for a pre-Gov Peter Mandelson.
(Challenge: Set with a gemstone)

The Shopping:
Reds: 19th Century Vienna wallclock (119 Challenge) ouch, Set of 6 Victorian green Uranium-glasses (19) good, Royal Worcester James Hadley cauldron bowl (9) bargain.
Blues: 9ct gold diamond ring (75 Challenge) struggle, Vintage cocktail shaker (6) bargain, Glass-domed anatomical model (30) good.

The Distraction:
Uncle Eric visits the Birmingham Office of Whore Marking. Eric surveys Brum's finest and selects the lovely Desiree for a 30 minute knee-trembler near the bike racks outside.

​

The Auction:
Reds: 19th Century Vienna wallclock (largish loss), Set of 6 Victorian green Uranium-glasses (small profit), Royal Worcester James Hadley cauldron bowl (small loss).
Chuck's BB is a Vintage oak chest-of-drawers (153), 100-150, 130. Potential folly still ends up as a loss. You win some and lose some with Hanson.



Blues: 9ct gold diamond ring (largish loss), Vintage cocktail shaker (nice profit), Glass-domed anatomical model (small loss).
Plaidy's BB is a vintage retro wooden domestic/library steps (50), 40-60, telephone bidding war 190. Superb work Nick. 140 nicker profit.



The Aftermath:
Online only auction which means bids are slow and subdued. This manifests in a struggle for the big spend items so largish losses for the clock and diamond ring. However, the Reds still had the ignominy of making a loss on a 9 pound bowl recommended by Charles. In fact, their only profit was a small one on the Uranium glasses. Chuckie's BB had folly stamped all over his big money drawers but it crept towards the asking price and ended falling a little short. So, it's a large 2-figure loss for Chuckie's Red Team. What a great day for Plaidy's Blue team. The ring makes their biggest loss and they were unlucky not to make a profit on the anatomical model. However, the big difference was with Nick's superb vintage steps BB which, telephone bids included, nearly cashes out at 200 quid meaning a whopping 140 pounds profit resulting in a large 3-figure cash bonanza.



The Hi-Kick:
Outdoor Covid diagonal kick on uneven grass. Decent wobbling effort all-round. Yes, YES!!

​

 

Good kick today. Great effort.

 

Ghostbusters theme. How naff. LOL

Will Charl-eh be giving JP the Willies!!!!!

Stereotype fat senior Blue nurse.

Reds sunk already with that overspend on the sign.

The way Blue Nurse is handling that clock I wouldn't trust her with a patient.

Red bloke overspend has buggered their negotiations.

 

Morticia Addams showing Charlie a Chuckie Child's Play doll.

That Vanity Case will sink the Blues. JP strikes again.

Crumpled Lewis.

 

Losses incoming.

Plaidy does it again.

65 quid for a bucket.

Classic piece of JP bin ware so cheap it makes a profit.

 

'Not a prayer!' yells a delighted Crumpled re the shabby sign.
Rare non-equivocation. And he was right.

 

noisy fat thick ugly charmless bluebird.

only in britain (or usa) would she be allowed on tv.

Sometimes i think 'british tolerance' might be an overrated value...

 

Plaidy never gets the same type of BB. Today's was completely different and he took a punt which yet again paid off.