Bargain Hunt

Whoaaaaarrrrrrrrrr indeed.



Definitely Ciccio

 

Trilly goes for silver scent bottle comfort buy.

Reds have Poole pottery, Welsh stool, Chinese porcelain and metal box.

Can't beat a stunning box!!

Tinplate Tractor, Pair of bugles, Scent Bottle for the Blues.

It's all going to come to naught as it's Muttley taking the Auction.

All that wasted effort.

Trilly is going to have a Ball. Eyebrows raise.

Some stirring Welsh sounds. Lovely.

Like a Welsh spring lamb, the Fool bounds up Muttley's steps.

He likes the vase and loves the stool. Not optimistic about the box. Punchy is today's buzzword.

Muttley satisfied on the Blues items except he calls scent bottle as old school. Yes, but aren't antiques old school by definition.

Muttley says he's steering the ship ....... straight onto the rocks.

Vase males a profit.

Beaming smile from Red Bird.

Sarcastic comment from Phil about how Auctions work.

NIce profit on the stool.

Big loss on the box.

Madders BB is some Worcester porcelain.

Great 45 profit from Madders.

12 note loss. Not bad for a Serrell Auction.

2 notes made on the Tractor.

2 notes made on the bugle.

2 notes made on scent bottle?

It fails by 9. Close.

More Worcester porcelain is Trilly's BB. Muttley will be filling it. He loves it.

Wipes face.

Lose 5 overall. Not bad for Muttleytown.

 

Muttley with a tie !!

 

The word 'punchy' getting used a lot by FatPhil...bad omen?

Great tractor!

 

brilliant spot:

"a Welsh Cicciolina"

Also elements of Tamsin Egerton, ten years ago (eg The Look Of Love)

 

Vic Reeves bids.

 

Let us pray for more of Welsh Cicciolina.

 

Wonderful to see Rosemary in full leggy mode there.
I remember Lesley Judd doing a Blue Peter wherein she danced with Pan's People. (Judd was a pro dancer in the Sixties.) The lovely Mary Corpe was on duty, iirc. *swoon*

 

The kick does not disappoint. Time for a very cold shower.

 

Some of it is here:





Urrrrrggggghhh. LOL.

 

Stephen something. Bit fat, mid-50s. Not seen him for ages...a whiff of Rule 43?

 

Steven Moore-on.

 

A glimpse of my number one there: Louise Clarke.

Evidence in support:

 

Ah, this was extensively discussed before in Feb last year, the Cicciolina comparison was made then too. Not surprising really, here we go again ........

Reg:
Coming soon .........



H male voice choir with the posh twit.

Muttley Auction. No chance of profits.

Two frisky ladies. Red is into hot yoga.

The Bugle store holder looks like she could blow those instruments to death.

Blue daughter is embarrassed by step-dad.

Kate aren't you going to play us anything says Charl-eh.

Charleh is heading to the room upstairs to stretch his vocal chords. Later on he'll do some singing.

Harefield:
Oooooh. Is Trilly feeling all horny?

"Give us a tune matey. Now.....what rhymes with hunt?"

Reg:
Red Girl to use her charms to get a price drop.

Lots of blowing today.

Turn the stool upside down so Charl-eh can sit on it.

Anything high value will not sell well at Muttley's Misers Mausoleum.

Standby for big losses.

The discount for the scent bottle came far too readily = overpriced.

How can you not enjoy yourselves says the fool.

Muttley calls something old school. LOL.

This is like the Titanic on its way to the iceberg.

Madders BB, that's not buying that's stealing says Muttley.

A PROFIT!!!!!!

And another.

Standby, Dutch Auction Time.

Almost a GG at Muttley's place.

Posing vase.

Red Bird has a touch of La Cicciolina about her.



OT78:
Ha!
Earlier, with glasses on, there was a mix of Claire Grogan meets Heather Graham via Tessa Niles.

Clive:
What a wonderful song at the start by the male voice choir. Really inspirational.

If only they'd have had that song at Rorke's Drift, they'd have sent those Zulus scarpering in half the time.

"Come on Private Hook lad, sing! THERE ARE REDS AND THERE ARE BLUES! MONEY THEY DONT WANT TO LOSE!"....

OT78:
I had to look up what 'hot yoga' was.
I am now sweating too, and thinking of opening my chakra into a Kleenex.

Does one take instruction in 'hot yoga' from a 'hot yogi'?
I remember one sweaty slimebag who would have been keen to help blonde Redbird reach enlightenment...



"I had that Prudence Farrow in the back of my Rolls once, guv...mind, I don't go south of the river Ganges this time of night. Hare Krishna."

Clive:
By the way, does anybody know what a "peer mentor" is? Red bloke claimed that was his job. Although it also could have been "pier mentor" maybe.

I was glad the blues won today because one of them was a carer and the father was cheery and looked a lot like a Welsh fella from the International Marxist Group who I used to know.

OT78:
Ha.
Marvellously vague/bullsh*tty job title. After all, it could be argued Reg is 'mentoring' his peers on here in our cultural education, for example; not being paid though, is he...

blast from the past!
=the International Marxist Group
iirc my dad was in that for about ten minutes in 1968, because he had been pally with Tariq Ali at Oxford.
Whatever happened to them? Didn't some end up in Militant?
Used to love following all the toings and froings on the proper Left. It was like a permanent transfer window. Or a very good ongoing episode of Rock Family Trees.

Reg:
These self-agrandisement monikers for the frustrated middle manager. Head squashed against the glass ceiling while the junior wannabees try to scramble over you in pursuit of the golden key to the senior management executive toilets.

 

1970s family viewing.
What a decade!

 

Re-up from Feb last year with additions:
BBC approved preamble:
Builth Wells 5
Series 54
https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m0008cqb
Charlie Ross joins a male voice choir while bargain hunting in Builth Wells. Meanwhile, experts Richard Madley and Kate Bliss are on hand to help the reds and blues find items that are going for a song.

The Translation:
Today we're at the International Antiques Fair of Wales in Builth Wells and tool fool Charl-eh has imposed himself on a Welsh Male Voice Choir. Charl-eh sings "All through the night" and is reminded of the dodgy curry he had the previous evening with the Speciality Mystery Meat Phall Ringstinger giving him a restless time. He's joined by 2 of the more upmarket experts Dikko Madders Madley not Madeley and Shrilly Trilly Tighty Dressy Blissy. They will have to buy sensibly knowing that it's an Auction at Muttley's Misers Mausoleum. Stick to low price items, as generally, the Misers strain to prise open their rusted purses.

The Staff:
[Gaffer] Omnifool Charlie The Tool Ross
[Red Team Expert] Kate Shrilly Trilly Bliss,
[Blue Team Expert] Richard D1ckko Madders Madley not Madeley
[Auctioneer] Philip Muttley Serrell avec scarf de tat, pullover de moth et gillet piqure de puce
[Auction Location] Titus A Ducksarse Auction Tomb, Malvern, Worcester
[Miserlin Rating] One Star

​

The Teams:
[Red Team] Peer Mentor Father and Brand Manager Daughter who is into hot yoga and burlesque. She has to use her charms for a price drop.
(Challenge: Associated to Wales)
[Blue Team] Step-daughter Carer and step-father support worker
(Challenge: Related to Music)

The Shopping:
Reds: Poole pottery vase (32) OK, Pembrokeshire Welsh stool (40 Challenge)OK, 18th Century Chinese porcelain and metal box (140) ouch immolation time.
Blues: Boxed clockwork toy tractor (48) topend, Pair of battered bugles (18 Challenge) OK, Silver stoppered glass scent bottle (79) burn.

The Distraction:
The great Cliff Morgan. Erstwhile Team Captain on A Question Of Sport too. Charleh sings a few beers while discussing Welsh Male Voice Choirs. Hwyl (pronounced Hoyle) is your Welsh soul, you posh t1t. Charl-eh performs his oral exercises to pictures of Dirk Bogarde, is Charleh more attuned to the Doctor films, all those nurse fillies, or Death In Venice, obsession over a young boy, or a buoy even, the poor daft twit doesn't know if he's coming or going these days. He glances down at his slacks and the unsightly groinal stain and realises that it's the former. The fool will no doubt be joining the Choir invisible in the not too distant future.

​

The Auction:
Reds: Poole pottery vase (profit), Pembrokeshire Welsh stool (decent profit.), 18th Century Chinese porcelain and metal box (big loss).
Madders BB is a set of 18th Century Royal Worcester porcelain (25), 40-60, 70. Great find Madders.

​

Blues: Boxed clockwork toy tractor (2 pound profit), Pair of battered bugles (2 pound profit), Silver stoppered glass scent bottle (small loss).
Trilly's BB is a Blushed Ivory Royal Worcester porcelain posy vase (60), 30-50, 60, breaks even. Not one of your more inspired buys Trills.

​

The Aftermath:
Not the usual Muttley Disaster Auction. He's actually wearing a tie but we don't get to see the lower shot of where it's landed it in the tomato soup during lunch. Lovely Welsh Red Bird, ticks all the boxes for me. There was Vic Reeves in the audience bidding on almost everything, he wouldn't let it lie. Madders Red Team with aforementioned lovely, start off with 2 profits, swoon, at a Muttley Auction. What is going on! Then normal service is resumed when the Chinese vase box thing tanks and loses them 90 quid, ouch. However, never fear, King of the BBs Madders is here, and yet again he delivers with a Muttley fave of Royal Worcester porcelain which makes 45 and brings the loss down to a very respectable, for a Serrell Auction, 12 note loss. Trilly's Blues start off with 2 lots of 2 pound profits. Will the 3rd item follow suit and bring them a 2 note inspired Golden Gavel? Unfortunately not. Her nice hobnail cut glass scent bottle falls short by 9 notes and the highly improbable GG dream at Muttley's gets a dose of reality. Trilly goes down the Royal Worcester porcelain with a posy jug that Phil instantly fills. It's a little pricey and it breaks even and the Blues finish with a loss of 5 notes. Another remarkably good score for Scrooge Central. 2 small overall losses at Muttley's Place, almost unheard of.

​

The Hi-Kick:
Standard indoor kick. Everyone more or less hits par but special mention to Red Bird, who removes glasses and shakes down hair and fuels our fantasies with a superb head shot growler. All that hot yoga is paying off. Yes, YES!! Cough, splutter.

​

 

Lucy Hockings, Kiwi News presenter, looking nice on the BBC News Channel at the moment.

 

That Fiends script is going to be flogged off here today. I hope the estimate was Punchy. Buzzword of the day. Going, going ...... DOWN!!! Thump.

 

Yes, definitely.

 

I can confirm I ****ed myself stupid over this.

 

Then or now? Or Both!!!!!

 

Then, alas!

 

While we're on the vague topic of 1970s female (or mainly female) dance troupes, I bring you Hot Gossip.



They obviously knew he wouldn't get excited by this:

 

Here they are on Tiswas. LOL

 

Roadshow tonight:
Tash: "so you don't like militaria, then?"
Sleazy Stevey: "i tried it once and i didn't like it."
Tash not impressed.

No wonder Moore was disappeared.
No-one wants to see out-of-shape middle-aged men using an antiques show as a launchpad for filthy allusions and....err... mebbe hang fire on that...

 

France's entry are the very gauche yet oddly appealing Clodettes, whose thighs were a thing of wonder. Watch for the Alexandrine bodyshake at 40 seconds:

 

Bonus solo dance track from the end of the decade, in tribute to BH ledge Cameron...'Banana Split (Mmm!)' sung by miniskirted 16 yr old popster Lio. As naughty as it sounds. The Minions took their 'ba-na-na!' catchphrase from the chorus...

 

That whole performance reminds me of this:

 

our Roo has been filming the weakest link!

 

What a lovely object, and the clock's not bad either. It's Tash, Raj, Pervy Dave, and Tubby SOS at Auction time.

 

Poor girl looks like she's struggling with the studio lighting.

 

Photography eh, she says knowingly. Nudge, nudge, wink, wink, say no more.

Tash's challenge. How much Bucky can you drink in 10 secs.

It's MyLatinaCrush for the Reds, a photographer. Yes, it does involve photography. Managed to find time off from all that spraying.

Father and Daughter for the Blues.

Oh no Pervy Dave will be getting hands on Blue Daughter.

Gilded/From the Georgian period.

P1ss1ing down so everyone is indoors.

MyLatinaCrush will be used to this.

You can really hear it hammering down.

Large scissors to warn Pervy Dave if he gets too friendly.

Point your trunks towards the door Gents.

Rub his Tummy says Dave pulling his top up.

Red idiot thinks that a greyhound is a horse.

He also thinks his girlfriend is a regular photographer. How little he knows.

Red Bloke, a younger Will Gompertz.

Fire Dogs. Do they go by the Fire? No, they go by the sink. That's why they're called Fire Dogs.

Dripping in style says DayGlo, the watch that is, not him in that 80s leather jacket.

90 notes down from 150 for the watch.

Henderson's photos. Will that be viewed with Relish?

 

Cardinal Rule of long exposure broken in the photo says Tash. She blows on her whistle and shows the Red Card.

Extensive photos of Geishas.

Niaga-wa. I was wondering what he was talking about until I saw the waterfall.

Toys make me excited says Blue Bird. DayGlo's glasses steam up.

The smells take Dave back. Has he been stealing underwear again?

Blue Bird is all a bit teeth and hair.

Blue Dad pouring cold water on any excitement generated. He must be great fun.

That gilded statue looks like some Adult Film Awards.

Red MyLatinaCrush has a few of them I should think.

Dayglo hands Blue Bird his toe warmer.

I've never bought a pair of those in my life says DayGlo. Which doesn't make them immune from a huge loss you dolt.

Blues look like they've found some plumbing items.

He Gaslights them into buying that bottle stop like he did with the toe warmer.

Sign, fire dogs, and Porn award for the Reds.

Watch, toe warmer , and safety tap for the Blues.