Things you hate III

Most recently from Costco?

 

Filipinos love a celeb, though.

When I first visited Manila, the whole office was obsessed that a famous English celebrity had briefly mentioned our brand.

He was Rick Astley & the incident was two years before.

 

Pasty, flabby, bare-chested British men in shorts, flip flops and shades as soon as the temperature goes above 20 degrees.

I don't mind in your back garden. Or even in the park. Bit of sunshine, slip your shirt off for a little bit of sunbathing. Why not? It's a free country.

BUT.

When you're walking up the high street, or going round the supermarket, or even driving your motor car around - put your bloody shirt on! It's because of half-naked wastrels like you that shops have to put signs up outside saying things like 'no shirt, no service'.

Your pink flabby belly is the colour of Billy Bear ham and we don't want to see it fullolloping about everywhere. Thanks very much.

 

Sh*t - has it gone yet?

 

Is your lip balm tiny?

 

Emily Atack peering at me from the top of this page.

What algorithm has caused that?

I hadn’t heard of her before this forum, never watched her on tv, never joined a soap opera forum & have very seldom visited the town of her birth.

 

People who talk a lot. Like people who can take a single breath and then talk for 30 minutes without ceasing.

 

The One Show. They had Charlotte Church on yesterday. That's just too much Welsh, vapid, triviality for anyone at one time, surely?

 

I bloody hate GDPR.

 

For every customer getting pissed off about receiving all the emails about it, I can confirm that I am 10 times more pised off having to deal with it from a company perspective.

We aren't doing it for a laugh. We legally have to do it.

 

One of the projects my team work on is on GDPR and it's a pain in the arse, not helped by the fact that the Project Manager on it is a complete control freak weirdo.

She's a contractor who has previously worked only in the private sector and is now in our public sector organisation. She has not yet realised that shouting at people and stomping off to directors is not the way to get things done.

A good 80% of the contractors we employee are workshy morons, who's standard of work is way below what you'd expect for someone pulling in their kind of money. I am slowly but surely working my way round and getting them useless, lazy ones booted out.

 

So having been "bitten" my rule is now Royal Mail to home or "click n collect" from the local Argos. So yesterday's farce was with DPD and a tackle shop (from ebay) in Norfolk:

and

Ok , as fate would have it, I was "home" from 11:00 (car MOT & service) but why the fark have they delivered it to someone in Letchworth and not Argos in 'Wood?
Get on to DPD to find out what's going on:

So get on to the tackle shop and I'm accused of putting B'wood's Argos as my home address and I have to strenuously point out that I only use Royal Mail or click 'n' collect for deliveries (they were the only seller on ebay with this product and offering this service) and although I have quite good tech skills it's extremely unlikely that I would wish to hack their ebay account to change their click and collect address for, and I'm quoting directly here, "...a laugh..." I'm advised that if I go to Argos and show some ID I can "pick up" the parcel.

Go to Argos. I then "do" the Little Britain "computer says "no" routine for 10 minutes, I then ask to speak to someone senior and then do" the Little Britain "computer says "no" routine for another 10 minutes before I ask for someone's number at head office. They can't give me my delivery as it hasn't been entered on their system even though I patiently explain that it won't be on their system as the oafs in the tackle shop have sent it to the wrong address, via DPD, for DPD "click and collect" all the time showing emails and websites.

Finally I spot a large box behind them to one side at the counter and ask if they could check whether that is "my" delivery with my name on it, does it come from a tackle shop in Ipswich and has it been delivered by DPD (which "...was a surprise as they don't do any business with DPD..."). After a further 15 minutes of "doing" the Little Britain "computer says "no" routine, the senior member of staff relents and I can take it away.

Welcome to my world.

 

I was always under the impression fishing was a relaxing pastime. Seems I was wrong!

 

Is she no longer hot then?

 

It does have the value that you can clear your inbox of ***** by not accepting the offer to stay in contact with whichever fly by night organisation has you on its mailing list.

 

I'm on a very steep learning curve with this. Yesterday's P O P B I T C H had this:

Ha, ha, ha! You bloody fools I thought to my self. So this morning one of the sites I frequently use (a US "when do new TV series start?" site,

Spoiler: Link given behind

http://www.metacritic.com/feature/tv-premiere-dates

) has, I'm estimating some 500+ "partners" affiliated with it all getting my data....

 

I love Things you hate, if you know what I mean.

 

I do so that I can be sure to get my £7k bubble-wrapped camera into a locker. I once had a stand up argument with a hostess who tried to tell me it would have to go in the hold as there was no room. No f***** way !! She relented finally but still gives me a cold sweat before i fly. My wife understandably can't be bothered to stand so we separate and meet up on the plane. Must look highly odd/suspicious.

 

"Baby on board" car signs.
As far as I can see, there are 2 possible justifications.
1/ "My sexual reproductive kit works. I'm virile and I've found someone prepared to have sex with me and we've made a baby. Well done me".
2/ "Safety. If there's a crash I want to be sure they don't miss my baby in the back of the car". Utter bullsh1t !
"OK George, we've dragged these 2 unconscious bodies from the front 2 seats of the car, should I check the back?".
"No, I wouldn't bother, most cars don't carry passengers".
"OK, but it would only take a glance to my left and I think they have a baby seat?"
"No, don't bother, it's highly unlikel....no wait a minute.... what does this sign in the rear windscreen say ?"....

 

Well I've checked everywhere I can think of. Did it turn up ?

 

You & Meh don't work in the same organisation, do you?

Is there any reporting relationship between you?

 

I thought it had turned up at the club.

Please keep up etc.

 

Shouldn't you be Letchworth Horn or have I got confused?

I hope your tackle is more satisfactory than Britos'.

 

That was the first WTF? moment - why are they delivering to Letchworth when the order addresses/payment details are in the 'Wood. Do I come across as the sort of man who would live in a Garden City dominated by marvellous architecture and with easy access to a highly agreeable lido? Pfffffft.

I've never had ANY complaints about my tackle NOR how I utilise it.

 

Just speaking to someone in a call centre based in the north, the bloke on the other end of the line had never heard of "Hertfordshire", I even had to spell it because as I quote he asked "Is that as in you 'Heart' followed by ford and shire?".

 

Why do people shop at tescos?

 

Maybe its just our local tescos, but its horrible. It doesn't help that whenever there's traffic issues it takes an hour to get out the car park.

Supermarkets have a market usp, waitrose is expensive but its good quality, aldi is good value but sometimes suprise with quality. Etc etc.

Tescos offers awful quality at mostly poor prices. I dont get why anyone would shop there, yet it's always packed!

 

If keeps the riff raff out of Sainsbury's

 

Good question. Maybe the mailing lists haven’t been revised yet, though I think they should have been.

 

The 2 Tescos near us are a mile better than sainsburys. Better quality, better layout and more choice. Though we do allow sainsburys to deliver to our door ! Guess it varies by region ?

 

Although Sainsbury’s is only there to keep the riff-raff out of Waitrose.