What Made Me Larf Today

Yep! Because if I did not laugh I would cry as that man just wastes the talent he has at his disposal

 

Andre Gray signing for a Saudi team and getting paid £100,000 a week

 

They’re only after the absolute cream of footballers.

 

I do miss The Water Closet Card Humour.

 

https://vole.wtf/coder-serial-killer-quiz/

 

Just found out I could electrocute my cat at Asda.

 

They're always going on about 'Sweet Jesus'.



Savoury Jesus is all but forgotten.

 

Sweet and savoury Jesus is expressed in all his divine beauty in The Hot Cross Bun .

 

Everton.

 

Salty Jesus is something else entirely. Don't be tempted to Google it.

 

Southgates England!!! It was a case of laughing or crying.

 

Quite possibly the dullest game of football I've seen in years. Well, a dull hour before I turned over and watched the darts

 

https://www.facebook.com/share/v/JWB85tJdj944LJRf/

 

If that was Peru the bike would have been taken before the first clap

 

Not sure whether to post this here or in the politics section, so I'll do both. Imagine voting for this pudding-headed idiot to run London.
https://www.lbc.co.uk/news/susan-hall-pickpocketed-on-tube/

(spoiler - she dropped her oyster card and some kind soul gave it back to her)

 

Reginald D Hunter is working on new stand up material. He's got a tour planned that he's calling "the man who could see through sh1t"
It made me laugh anyway

 

https://twitter.com/MarieAnnUK/status/1735666867660825028

 

I expect she also likes M.C. Donald’s and votes for Republic Anne.

 

"Hey! This seat's free Rosa..."

 

From the latest PopBitch:

Old Jokes Home:
Q/ What's the difference between a casual party and a pirate orgy?
A/ For the party, you come as you are...

Arf.

 

WTF is this. LOL It's a statue of Harry Kane. Apart from a few Golden Boots, and some England caps, what else has he won? Nothing to warrant a Public statue. Perhaps it's made of chocolate. Chingford obviously have money to burn and they didn't want to do one of The Chingford Strangler, Norman Tebbit, on his bike.

 

‘I only converted to help my asylum claim but then things snowballed.’

 

Come to think about it the statue does have more charisma and personality.

 

Kinder fuelling the rumours he's signing for LA Galaxy.

 

I like the way they have got the dribble streak running from his bottom lip and settling around his jaw line.....what?.............a beard?

 

Deffo chocolate and has been left too close to the radiator.

Either that or the sculptor wasn't very good, some might say a bit flakey.

 

This is very well done.

 

Umami

 

As he's been in the News recently, I thought this might be topical.

https://366weirdmovies.com/capsule-international-guerillas-1990/

The Movie is in the Internet Archive, God (whichever one) Bless Its Cotton socks:

https://archive.org/details/InternationalGorillay

Looks like a poor quality VHS rip, which only adds to the experience, but it does come with hard-coded English subs, even though they won't really help.

Capsules
CAPSULE: INTERNATIONAL GUERILLAS (1990)
April 18, 2024 Rafael Moreira Leave a comment

International Gorillay

DIRECTED BY: Jan Mohammad

FEATURING: Ghulam Mohjuddin, Mustafa Qureshi, Saeed Khan Rangeela

PLOT: Salman Rushdie (portrayed here as a Bond-style supervillain) plots to destroy Islam by building casinos, nightclubs, and brothels to spread vice and corruption; three brothers band together to avenge their faith and kill Rushdie, who is hiding in the Philippines under the guard of the Israeli secret services.



COMMENTS: The publication of Salman Rushdie’s “The Satanic Verses” in 1988 sparked a wave of intense debate and controversy that led to bans, riots, assassination attempts, and other violence. The affair, which became one of the major cultural events of the latter half of the 20th century, culminated in a fatwa issued by Iran’s then Supreme Leader, Ayatollah Khomeini. International Guerillas starts from this context, but the plot summary above should tell you everything about the tone of the film. It’s safe to assume that the filmmakers were not passionate ideologues looking to contribute a propaganda piece in the fight against Rushdie, but rather businessmen who saw the recent controversy as an opportunity to cash in on the ongoing issue by slapping it on a generic spy/action flick plot. The producer would go on to admit that the film was a purely commercial, rather than artistic (or, shall we say, ideological) affair. Regardless, it should be noted that BBC originally intended to ban the film upon its release, a decision opposed by Rushdie himself, who appealed to the principle of unconditional artistic freedom (even if applied to works that portray him as a cartoonish villain) and feared that a ban would only increase the film’s popularity.

The register is not far from a typical B-movie, with some kinship to older Bollywood cinema (over the top caricatures, cheesy dramatics, sensationalist camerawork and score); nevertheless, the combination of general silliness, the inherent oddity of the backstory, and a fair share of eccentric choices along the way makes for a strange viewing experience, especially for the western viewer.

The bloated runtime of nearly three hours (!) allows for plenty of funny (or, depending on the viewer, tedious) moments, including a surprisingly detailed set-up (the main credits only appear past the 40-minute mark) where we witness the murder of the protagonist’s sister at an anti-Rushdie protest, and his gang’s subsequent vow of revenge. What follows is a more or less continuous flow of senseless action interrupted by long (5+ minutes) dance numbers and seemingly random narrative detours. At some point along their quest, our heroes show up donning Batman costumes for some reason (or, more likely, none at all). We’re treated to the activities of “Rushdie” in his Philippine resort where, of course, he lives a hedonistic lifestyle. Besides torturing and executing Muslims by hanging, beheading, crucifying, or dropping them off a helicopter (Pinochet-style), another method of torture appears to be reciting excerpts from his blasphemous book. He also turns out to have an interminable host of clones, guaranteeing a lot of additional screentime and endless fighting scenes. And, of course, there’s the famous ending where “Rushdie” is destroyed by three flying Korans that inexplicably appear in the sky, a quite literal deus ex machina.

The basic premise of Muslim fundamentalists (undisputed heroes in the comic book morals at play here) hunting down “Rushdie” (even if he bears no resemblance at all to his real-life counterpart, physically or otherwise) might make some viewers understandably uneasy. This may be even more pronounced in today’s uber-politicized world, especially since Islamist terrorism has become more common. The obvious cheekiness of the presentation, however, means most will struggle to take it seriously as a piece of propaganda. In any case, this cult curiosity is likely to please or at least entertain viewers familiar with “Turksploitation” movies, with which Guerillas shares similarities—mainly, the idea of appropriating a popular western filmmaking template while giving it a gloriously over-the-top “national” spin for a cheap and quick cash-grab that proves funny in some intended ways and in all unintended ones. Although it might prove taxing for some, anyone who had fun with the likes of 3 Dev Adam or the Turkish Star Wars should have a guaranteed good time with International Guerillas.

WHAT THE CRITICS SAY:

“…a hallucinogenically awful mish-mash of music, action, crude comedy, continuity screw-ups, and dreadful production values… One of the weirdest scenes has the trio dressing in baggy Batman costumes and tracking down a bunch of identical Rushdie impostors…”–Steven Puchalski, Shock Cinema