Things you hate IV

I left my wife at the motor enthusiast convention and a carburettor

 

You must have been in a right estate. A shock, absorber like that.
Clutching at straws but do you know anyone with an axle to grind ?

 

It wasn't the first time this has happened. Was at the woodcraft tools fayre and an accelerator

 

Facebook Marketplace.
I've listed an item for free that is very much in demand for young families. Many messages of which I get back to quickly, then nothing for days.
Promised it to one person who then came up with excuses why they couldn't pick it up, then had a nice lady who wanted it for her kids and was the first "normal" I'd dealt with.
Told everyone else it was gone and she picked it up within the hour.

Where are all the "normals" these days?

 

Not on FB perhaps?

 

Is this still available?

 

I think it always will be.

 

Did you put:

No offers
Needs gone ASAP
No time wasters
No scammers

On your listingm

 

Will you deliver?

 

Yes mate, up to 40 feet away. I'll lob it over the fence

 

Traitors. What an absolute bag of sh1te

 

Yeah, down with Guy Fawkes and Lord Haw Haw!

 

Designer outlets. A new one on me. Dragged to one with the kids. The idea being seemingly that clothes and shoes which are originally priced at 5 times what they should be, have 30% off and suddenly every chav in existence is desperate to buy some of these wares from a mock old timey village location.

 

Have you just visited Bicester?

 

This was Mcarthur Park in the Midlands.

I've been to Bicester before but only for breakfast. Place is sickening.

 

My wife suggested we go to Bicester Village recently, "it looks nice" she said having seen an ad pop up on her phone. I explained that the sole purpose of Bicester Village was to extort vast amounts of money from tourists.

 

I actually bought a hoodie for 35 quid, which I thought was quite reasonable

 

Had someone left a cake out in the rain?

 

I thought it was just the shyte that they couldn't flog heavily discounted . After being priced at full RRP

 

Flipping through all the channels on the TV and when you find something that looks interesting there is a bunch of adverts . So on you scroll to something else for example "Alan Titchmarsh binge-a-thon" and guess what ! Adverts . This seems to work every time.

 

I've no idea. Maybe a chance for plebs to spend outside their means to get a taste of what they think it is to buy luxury tat.

 

Shaving Foam cans that leave indelible rusty ring marks wherever you leave them in the bathroom. Pain in the arse and so difficult to scrub off.

I reckon I might invent some little coaster things on rubber feet and sell it as a shaving cream stand. I'd buy one.

 

Live TV? Like on right now? What time travel machine are you using Mr 2012?

 

You just invested a coaster. Move some from the living room.

 

Also, the little bit of post cum dribble that comes out when you have finished. No matter how much you wipe the nozzle, it ejaculates another load as soon as you put the lid on.

 

Coaster? Ooh sorry your Majesty!

 

It wasn't raining. It was like Summer.

 

My wife's shaving gel can in the shower sits on a Pringles lid to avoid this very problem.

 

I'm glad to hear this is a very real problem for others. I'd never heard it mentioned by anyone.

Pringles lid is a fine idea. I should order 5000 drop shipped off Ali Baba in different colours and flog em at the ideal home show as a radical new bathroom convenience invention for only £14.99 each.

 

Write "Balenciaga" on them, set up a stall in the Bicester Village car park and knock them out for 10 times that.

 

Don’t the Pringles get soggy and soapy ?

 

Actually Jill, a pipe of Pringles will suffice

 

POV posts on social media

 

Most posts on social media are only a POV.
Most of these posts are complete bollards.

 

When you have a nap that is too short to feel refreshed, but long enough to make you feel asleep.