The Popular Footballing Defensive Trend Of Putting Your Hands Behind Your Back

Both hands clasped behind your back like Prince Charles inspecting a lineup of proles at the Palace.

This tactic was unknown until a few years ago and it's got more and more popular in recent times and our defenders bloody love it. They do it all the time.

I sort of get it when you're defending in the area and there's chance the opposition will shoot and it'll hit your hand and you'll give away a penalty.

However, for me, the severe loss of balance and mobility caused by adopting the ridiculous 'Venus de Milo' stance surely far outweighs the possibility of a dodgy pen. If the ball is coming towards your arm in the penalty area, then move it out of the way. If there isn't time to.move it out of the way, then chances are the shot will have been so close that the ref will judge it accidental and a pen won't be given.

What I particularly can't understand most of all though, is doing the backward handclasp thing when you're defending about 10 yards OUTSIDE the penalty area. We did this at least twice yesterday. Once was Kusca and the other was some other lumpen element of our precarious defensive ranks.

On both occasions, the opposition forward saw we'd adopted the Littlewoods Catalogue clothes model stance and gleefully knocked the ball past them and ran on to it.

Are there any defenders of this unnatural, twisted and hopefully only fleeting defensive trend?


P.S. I am not against all defensive trends by any means. I like innovation. The 'draught excluder' lying down behind the wall thing is great - although I have yet to see it be the least bit effective in any way, it is logical and it gives the excluder volunteer the chance to wear a little sheen of self-sacrifice for the team.

 

Masina is absolutely addicted to adopting that ridiculous stance which was again on show at Goodison the other day. I had wondered if Claudio had simply glued Masina's hands pre-match in a desperate attempt to limit collateral damage from Adam's occasional brainless efforts in our penalty area. He'll need to apply his glue gun to Danny Rose now to stop his regular forays into the biscuit barrel as well!

Shame Xisco hadn't thought to tie Masina's shoelaces together along with glueing his hands in the Villa match in which we nearly came unstuck! Boom tish...I'm here all week!

 

As I say, what really annoys me is when they do it yards outside the penalty area.

They're marginally reducing the possibility of giving away a direct free kick in return for reducing their defending ability by about 75%.

 

I think the main reason we don't see it be effective is the player has to be in position before the FK is taken (not enough time to get down otherwise), so the taker has enough time to ensure they don't put the ball there as it would be a guaranteed wasted effort.

As a result they'll do something else, which means it's been effective as closing down a potential avenue to a goal rather than blocking an actual effort.

I seem to remember that Abdi scored one by putting it under the wall.

 

I've seen a few go in that way over the years - wall all jump together whilst the ball gets fired in underneath them. Appointing a draught excluder means you can jump with freedom in the wall.

Sarr seems to be our regular volunteer to do the job.

 

If I was a winger I’d just whack it into their pills and run past when I got the rebound.