Quotes from your local toilet Attendendant

Went out in Watford for the first time in a while the other night and was greeted by the usual toilet attendant in the bogs.
Rather than pay £5 for a lolly pop, I bunged him a quid and asked him for the lines he uses to try and 'sell' his after shave, lollies etc.

This is what he came up with, add others you've heard below

No splash no gash
No Armani no Punani
Wash your fingers for the *****rs
No spray no lay

 

No water no daughter!

 

I try not to talk to them to be honest , a toilet attendant really has nothing to say that i would want to hear

 

Heard a quality one in Tenerife...

No Splat, No Rat.

No Cologne, go home alone.

No Davidoff, No suckioff

Tissue, No Issue

No soap, No hope.

 

I look at your kn0b as part of my job

 

If I wasn't here to watch you pee you'd wash your hands for free

 

Give me a pound for just hanging around.

 

no calvin klein no 69

 

i went last month. they dont bother saying them, just stick them up on the wall!

 

you've got to freshen up, freshen up! you've got to freeeshen up.. nannananana

 

"smell like a scummer, the nights a bummer"

 

Erm, are you a toilet attendant then Layton? - that would explain a lot

:biggrin:


ps - Love ya really xXx

 

queer.

 

Only saw that in one place called Mett Bar. Did you go to Playas De las Americas? (think I spelt that right..)

 

platjaaaaaaas

 

Having a p1ss? Then spray some of this.

 

I got into an argument with one once, because he refused to wipe my arse for a quid. I thought that was their job?

 

Why the ***** would you talk to a toilet attendant?

 

I don't they just say these phrases.

 

Bring your daughter to the slaughter.

 

taking a poo? Don't splash on your shoe.

 

If you want to get some snatch, someone better light a match.

 

My idea of bliss is working in p1ss.

 

My idea of glee is watching men pee.

 

Don't commit folly, buy an overpriced lolly

 

Finished wiping your bum? It's a pound for some gum.

 

I've changed my mind. I would only talk to a toilet attendant if it were Moog.

 

:biggrin:

 

Agreed.

Oh wait, i spoke to the one the other night. Dammit.

 

S'alright. It was me in blackface.

 

I cant stand totilet attendendant and i think the number of them now is getting out of control. I may write to my MP about it.

 

Was it you sneaking around in my garden the other night too then?