Mobile Telephones – A Modern Menace

Discussion in 'Taylor's Tittle-Tattle - General Banter' started by Clive_ofthe_Kremlin, Aug 8, 2014.

  1. Arakel

    Arakel First Team

    But Magikarp uses Splash, and nothing happens.
     
  2. Cthulhu

    Cthulhu Keyboard Warrior Staff Member

    Lets review the evidence.

    Squirtle
    Everyone hates it
    Appears at the start of every game
    Ineffective

    Jurado
    Exactly the same
     
  3. Arakel

    Arakel First Team

    The alternative case:

    Magikarp:

    - Useless
    - Ubiquitous
    - His main skill does nothing
    - Takes up a spot on your team but never has any end product
    - People always say if you persist with using him, he'll become incredible.
    - Karp.

    Jurado:

    - As above
     
  4. Clive_ofthe_Kremlin

    Clive_ofthe_Kremlin Squad Player

    Da fack?

    You see before your very own eyes, comrade hornets and hornettes, absolute proof of how they are.

    "Naw, naw, it's for the kids innit? Good for 'em innit? Bit of fresh air and that."

    I pointed out then and there, in clear and plain language, that JE ACUSE the very same YOU who is typing that old flim flam of being the ones that are DOING it!

    Grown ups! Adults!

    What are you doing? Take a step back and look at your stupid selves for a moment or two.

    I mean, jesus.
     
  5. Arakel

    Arakel First Team

    You'll get over it, Clive. I'm sure you must be used to adults not doing what you want by now. :]]
     
  6. Cthulhu

    Cthulhu Keyboard Warrior Staff Member

    I concede on your final two points
     
  7. Arakel

    Arakel First Team

    In fairness, the Squirtle case is solid.
     
  8. Clive_ofthe_Kremlin

    Clive_ofthe_Kremlin Squad Player

    I'm honestly gobsmacked. Really I am.

    The boys in my work have spent all day farting about with it and comparing their imaginary children's monsters. Utter spanners, the lot of 'em.

    I told them that when I was their age, girls used to send me letters with perfume on rather than a txt. I pity the poor, feeble minded drones. What a waste of youth. Walking around looking at a little screen trying to catch imaginary monsters. I have to keep typing that because I still can't believe that is what you are actually doing.

    Mama.
     
  9. Arakel

    Arakel First Team

    If only they were spending their time on more productive things like judging how other people spend their free time! Think of how much finger wagging and alpine fart sniffing is being missed out on! The humanity!
     
  10. Otter

    Otter Gambling industry insider

    Are they the same comrades that you refused to take a pay rise on behalf of recently?
     
  11. Clive_ofthe_Kremlin

    Clive_ofthe_Kremlin Squad Player

    Ha ha! Yes, that's them. Green as grass they are. They're alright though, bless 'em. Given the environment they've been brought up in and everything.

    Although I'm obviously a lot older than them and a bit longer in the tooth in the ways of the world, I do not lord it over them like so many of the shameful baby boomer generation. I'm on the same money as them. I'm able to act as a bit of a go between in some respects with the management. I've been given the health and safety job now as well, to do in my spare time, along with proof reading (in reality on most occasions, completely rewriting) their advertising and email text and my own regular job on top. Plus I am also regularly charged with running down to the shops for milk and coffee or to the post office to despatch really important packages. The others don't get those 'trustee' privileges. However if people ask me what my job is, I like to tell them I am an office boy. The same as I liked to tell them my employment when I was cleaning zero hours before this job. There's no shame in it. It's an honest crust.
     
  12. Diamond

    Diamond First Team

    OK so to prove Clive completely wrong I went out for a little stroll with my Daughter while she tried this Pokemon thing. He's right, it's sh*te.
     
  13. Meh!

    Meh! Pre-Dictator

    Err, Hmmm. Well this is awkward!
     
  14. Cassetti's Beard

    Cassetti's Beard First Team

    Ha, out of all the players I could've chosen! I'll continue to mock his shooting ability if he pulls off goals like that all season!
     
  15. Cassetti's Beard

    Cassetti's Beard First Team

    [​IMG]
     
  16. hornmeister

    hornmeister Tired

    A pivotal moment in my life. I used to we well up to speed with technology and this just baffles me.

    I'm turning into my dad.
     
  17. nascot

    nascot First Team

    Me too. I used to generally understand what was going on but this? Not a clue.
     
  18. miked2006

    miked2006 Premiership Prediction League Proprietor

    Mazzari used X-Accuracy on Capoue.
     
  19. MarlonsCellMate

    MarlonsCellMate Reservist

    Nowadays it's girls sending nudies to guys
     
  20. Cassetti's Beard

    Cassetti's Beard First Team

    What a time to be alive.
     
  21. Smudger

    Smudger Messi's Mad Coach Staff Member

    [​IMG]

    Already the first death due to playing this and no doubt in time the first wedding as a result of players meeting each other. A friend of mine took his two young sons out to Captains Wood the other week and played this all day. I did ask him what about the scenery, pointing out the wildlife species in the area and other activities that they could have enjoyed.....
     
  22. Clive_ofthe_Kremlin

    Clive_ofthe_Kremlin Squad Player


    Glad to see the government are at long last cracking down on the mobile menace. It's just a shame they've not chosen to go the whole hog and do the job properly. Six points and £200 is still not much more than a slap on the wrist.

    We know that using a mobile phone whilst driving, for talking or especially texting, is more dangerous than drink driving.

    It is therefore easy logic that the penalties for doing it should be at least equal and maybe harsher.

    For a first offence my minimum tariff would be:-

    • 1. A night in the cells - same as for drink driving. A minimum of 12 hours behind bars.
    • 2. Vehicle crushed. No exceptions. No appeals.
    • 3. £5000 fine
    • 4. Six month driving ban
    • 5. Retake test to regain licence following ban
    I would also ban so-called 'hands free' kits. Tests have proved they're almost as dangerous. When you're driving, concentrate on the road, not on bloody chatting inanely.
     
  23. Otter

    Otter Gambling industry insider

    Disagree with you Clive. The previous penalties were woefully short of what they should have been, the recommendations are:

    6 points + £200 fine (as you said) but loss of licence for a new driver (less than 2 years since passing) and a retake of the test.

    When I got my 3 points (for speeding on the M40) I wondered whether it would affect my insurance premiums significantly; but as it turned out it didn't matter, my insurers said that the real changes occur when you get to 6 points.

    I also agree that for any driving ban that you should have to retake your test.

    As for hands free sets, a lot of new cars have Bluetooth built in and I don't think that it is any more dangerous than talking to my children in the back seats.
     
  24. Clive_ofthe_Kremlin

    Clive_ofthe_Kremlin Squad Player

    What part do you disagree with? Do you think the new penalties are sufficient? I'm just hoping that they keep on increasing them over time. As I said, this needs to be treated in just the same way as drink driving with similar penalties so that people stop doing it. At the moment, every third bloody car seems to have a driver merrily chatting away or texting.

    As for hands free, reliable peer-reviewed research from distinguished academic studies shows conclusively that they are just as distracting as the hand held variety. http://www.open.ac.uk/research/main/news/think-talking-hands-free-driving-safe
     
  25. Godfather

    Godfather bricklayer extraordinaire

    Hands free should have a ten second time limit ... plenty enough to say "I'll park up and call you back"
     
  26. hornmeister

    hornmeister Tired

    Would you also prohibit conversations with passengers, smoking in the car, listening to the radio ladies with short skirts on the pavement or roadside advertising?
    All can be a distraction.

    The law as it stands, is robust enough, it just needs to be enforced properly. They're getting there in the same way that education and information has made drink driving socially unacceptable, mobile phone driving will be too eventually.
     
  27. iamofwfc

    iamofwfc Squad Player

    With Clive on this one, still amazes how many people use their phones while driving, I notice it more when I am out running, see a truck driver on his phone going by a school makes my bloody boil, I would rather have the 3 point and fine system where they did everyone who did it, I think with the 6 points they will take the easy soft targets but hope I am wrong.

    People I know would not think if drink driving but ok using their phone while driving, I would be telling fibs if I said I never did it but would. Or do it now, maybe if I was stuck at the lights for a couple of minutes I may send a quick text but not while driving. I assume they can't use cameras as not clear enough.

    There is no excuse considering how cheap blue tooth systems are who those who so important and can't wait to pull over
     
  28. cyaninternetdog

    cyaninternetdog Forum Hippie

    I very nearly crashed into a car stopped at traffic lights because of a young woman with a very pert bottom with leggings on a few years back. Remember, dont perv and drive.
     
  29. PhilippineOrn

    PhilippineOrn First Team

    So smoking is allowed but eating and drinking isn`t? That`s bizarre.
     
  30. Godfather

    Godfather bricklayer extraordinaire

    Oi! .... a ciggie fits very neatly between fingers allowing one to still take firm grip of the wheel - it also has no slippery mayonnaise dripping from it and unlike a can of coke you don't need to be looking at the sun roof as you finish the dregs.
     
  31. Otter

    Otter Gambling industry insider

    Since last year it's illegal to smoke in a vehicle where there are under 18s inside.
     
  32. Clive_ofthe_Kremlin

    Clive_ofthe_Kremlin Squad Player

    Yeah I know.

    I told my kids when they brought that in that they're going to be bloody walking everywhere from now on.
     
  33. Godfather

    Godfather bricklayer extraordinaire

    Even though research and statistics say it's not? ... I take it you're one of those that can't bear the thought of driving home without constantly nattering to someone.
     
  34. wfcmoog

    wfcmoog Tinpot

    Same thing happened to me. Nearly ruined my stroke.
     
  35. Arakel

    Arakel First Team

    If Clive were a real person I'd be amused that he is so anti-everything while being on board with smoking, which is medically proven to cause cancer.

    But Clive isn't a real person; he's clearly another of Moog's trolls. Nice try Moog.
     

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