Things you hate IV

Footballs is boring on TV and live.

 

Yes but I think you only really get the atmosphere, not much else. I’ve been a few times but never really enjoyed it. Prefer to actually see what’s happening on tv. If you want atmosphere you can just turn the TV volume up .

 

I love cricket when it’s sunny.

Watched two days of a terrific county match last week..

 

Hmm don’t really agree with this. Have you been to a Test at Lord’s? Nothing like it.

Would love to go to the Boxing Day Test at the MCG.

 

I’m guessing the result helped…

 

Agree. It’s ****.

 

Yes I have. And The Oval. It would be great to be there on one of those fantastic series defining days of course but most days it's a hassle to get to and then only great if the weather is ok and you like to drink 5+ pints of beer and have a bit of a sing song. I'm sure it's better under BazBall but even then you can't tell what the ball is doing and you only really know if the batsman has edged through to the keeper if the fielders are celebrating. You're just too far away and don't get the TV angles. Remember when they only used to have a tv view from one end of the ground so half of the time you only saw the batsman from behind ? ....but I suppose you did get the bowler head on.

 

You mean you don't?

Anyway, it's bottles of Bordeaux and some light tutting at Lord's.

 

No I really don't. Even after my prostate op ! 2 absolute max.
There's been no TUTting at Lords for >20 years and there won't be again until I can sit 15 yards from the wicket, or closer.

 

I'd like to see this. You sitting 15 yards away on a foldable chair, perhaps with a protective perspex screen. Everyone would be aiming for you as I assume they would get 5 runs for hitting you.

 

I'm up for that. Can I catch or run anyone out ?

 

No, but you can wear pads and a protective helmet instead of the perspex screen. For white-ball games, you have to spend the powerplay sitting at silly point

 

Box?

 

Yes, but has to be made from recycled cardboard

 

First summer bonfire twunt of the year in my area last night. Out for a walk and encountered acrid smoke in the next street.

Got home and we had a few upstairs windows open. House full of smoke. Even the cat smelt of smoke and he’s not been on the fags ever since we got him from the RSPCA.

If you have bonfires you are a grade A pillock and need shooting.

 

Golf has to be the dullest televised sport. Endless footage of blokes walking through a field followed by shots of the sky

 

We've had this debate before but I prefer golf to F1. At least there is some nice landsape to look at, rather than a road (Monaco partially excepted).

It's also considerably more unpredictable.

 

Ryder Cup?

 

I think I’ve solved the conundrum as to why you never did very well on school sports days…you’re really meant to run.

 

I'll have you know I once came a narrow second in a sack race precisely because I ran instead of jumping.

 

How big was the sack? Or had you managed to surreptitiously cut leg holes in it?

 

Relatively large for a 7 year old.

 

And how big is a 7 year old sack? Do they get bigger as they age?

 

They must do, cos there are some out there big enough for the Tories to fight like rats in.

 

How is somebody with such a displeasing voice as Jason Mohammed allowed to broadcast on the radio?

 

Disneyland.

Getting cajoled into going by entire family. Don't want to go. Don't want to spend 2.5k on a weekend there.

Brainwashed **** wife and daughter.

 

Get in the hole!

 

I think earlier in this very thread I mentioned Legoland. It was enough to persuade me that my parental dream of having my two daughters go to Disneyland/world was based on a falsehood.

3 grand for us to stand in queues and then spend more on overpriced food and drink?

I can take them to Indonesia to look at orangutans for less.

 

Went to the one in Florida circa 1990.
Had a few in the "Rose & Crown " ? Then a few more !!
Got escorted out by security when they wouldn't serve me anymore !!

 

A lot of people see it as the dream holiday, but the whole Florida experience is my nightmare.

Several weeks of paying obscene amounts for **** food and long queues in a culture free plastic bubble.

 

And just 90 miles south is a destination where everything is a quarter of the price and 4 times better.

 

Yeah Zoe is back and early mornings are a better place again

 

Cancun?