Only in Britain

Discussion in 'Taylor's Tittle-Tattle - General Banter' started by MJ1, Mar 26, 2007.

  1. MJ1

    MJ1 Reservist

    Being British is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for a Belgian beer, then travelling home, grabbing an Indian curry or a Turkish kebab on the way to sit on Swedish furniture and watch American
    shows on a Japanese TV.

    And the most British thing of all? Suspicion of anything foreign.

    oh and ....... Only in Britain ... can a pizza get to your house faster
    than an ambulance.

    Only in Britain ... do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way to
    the back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy people can
    buy cigarettes at the front.

    Only in Britain ... do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries
    and a DIET coke.

    Only in Britain ... do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to
    the counters

    Only in Britain ... do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds on the
    drive and lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage.

    Only in Britain ... do we use answering machines to screen calls and
    then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't
    want to talk to in the first place.

    Only in Britain ... are there disabled parking places in front of a
    skating rink

    NOT TO MENTION ....

    3 Brits die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue.

    142 Brits were injured in 1999 by not removing all pins from new shirts.

    58 Brits are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of
    screwdrivers.

    31 Brits have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree while the
    fairy lights were plugged in.

    19 Brits have died in the last 3 years believing that Christmas
    decorations were chocolate.

    British Hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after cracker pulling
    accidents.

    101 people since 1999 have had broken parts of plastic toys pulled out
    of the soles of their feet.

    18 Brits had serious burns in 2000 trying on a new jumper with a lit
    cigarette in their mouth.

    A massive 543 Brits were admitted to A&E in the last two years after
    opening bottles of beer with their teeth.

    5 Brits were injured last year in accidents involving out of control
    scalextric cars.

    AND FINALLY ....

    In 2000 eight Brits cracked their skull whilst throwing up into the
    toilet.
     
  2. Dublinhorn

    Dublinhorn First Year Pro

    Quality, passed onto my Irish colleagues. True and amusing for so many of the points.
     
  3. nak108

    nak108 International Captain

    Lol:]] :]]
     
  4. fan

    fan slow toaster

    its hardly unique to britain
     
  5. wfcmoog

    wfcmoog Tinpot

    The statistics are also fairly questionable.
     
  6. jobr

    jobr Squad Player

    lol
     
  7. albangura9

    albangura9 Squad Player

    lmao, haha
     
  8. Tenhourslater™

    Tenhourslater™ The Late mod

    put a smile on my face
     
  9. Edstannard

    Edstannard Reservist

    curry is an English invention!
     
  10. The Voice of Reason

    The Voice of Reason First Team Captain

    I do believe you are right......

    I believe the army invented it so that the troops out in India would not realise it was made with rotten rancid meat :sick1: :sick1: :sick1:

    A tradition that is probably continued in most "Balti Houses" and "Indian take-a-ways" to this very day, hence the :scared1: to the bog after eating one ;) ;) ;)
     
  11. Edstannard

    Edstannard Reservist

    haha too true! I still love one though! The after affects are a sort of right of passage in this country, if you will pardon the pun!
     

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