Bargain Hunt

The p*ssed up looking Marilyn is genuinely scary.

 

Interesting that they get to keep their fleeces and get Steph's digits.

 

Disappointed the China men didn't have more flexibility for the kick. Was hoping for a bit of Kung Fu.

 

Yer, a bit clunky to wear round the neck.

 

Tash Tight Titty Top Fan Club

 

Plenty of Psycho's to stick it on a mannequin and dive on a mattress.

 

Very 1970s Glam Rock, that mic.

 

Timvin Starpants Pretends to point out the the subjects of his Jealous Mind. Meanwhile The Tash Tight Titty Top Appreciation Society is in full swing.

 

All our usual friends are in action in Treepants Travelling Freak Show. Terry Bullteeth, Crazy Glasses Lady, Pramface, Billy Hill, and special celebrity guests, Stanley Johnson and Jim Broadbent.

 

@OldTraff78 Victoria Valentine currently on the Business Report on the BBC News Channel. Yum, yum.

 

BBC approved preamble:
Shepton Mallet 24
Series 65
https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m001ph4p
Natasha Raskin Sharp presents today’s show from Shepton Mallet in Somerset, with the reds and the blues led by John Cameron and Stephanie Connell. Both teams are keen to make a profit at the auction, but who will win? While the competition heats up, Natasha learns about a Victorian gadget that combines fashion and function.

The Translation:
Once again we are back in Cheddar and Cider country, where tightness refers to consumption as well as Scroogeness levels. Strict Natasha is from a part of the world where these 2 attributes are held in the highest esteem as Scotland are current holders of the Buckfast Tonic World Cup and World Fiscal Studies Leakproff Shield, a fine double. While she reflects in this glory she is joined once again by Marine Boy in his Bingo Banana Split suit and Our Steph with her Growler-shield skirt. It'll be a Hipstertastic Treepants, Treebeard and co., Series 65 Auction in Chippenham (no not Chips and Ham Tash), so will Terry Bullteeth, Crazy Glasses Lady, Mister Billy Gnome-Mobile Hill and Pramface still have money to spaff.

The Staff:
[Gaffer] Strict Natasha Raskin Sharp, Glasgow Southside enforcer, Red Card and notebook at the ready
[Red Team Expert] John Marine Boy Cameron
[Blue Team Expert] Stephanie Connell, the Cockermouth Cumbrian, poster girl for The 93%
[Auctioneer] Timpole Tudor Wunderbar Weeks
[Auction Location] Wessex Auction Rooms, Chippenham
(Miserlin Rating] Unlisted



The Teams:
[Red Team] Married NHS worker 'ball' and Gobby Septic Learning Facilitator aka Teaching Assistant 'chain'
(Challenge: American connection)
[Blue Team] Married Male Manufacturing Technician (BBC BAME box ticked) and Dog Walker (BBC Stereotype Box ticked)
(Challenge: French connection) Will Tash DQ 50 kilos of uncut Heroin?

The Shopping:
Reds: Louis Vuitton toy mangle (140) might fly, Marilyn Monroe's Bust (90 Challenge) oof ahhhhhh, Tri-ang Baby Walker (19) topend.
Blues: Glass West Highland terrier (30 Challenge) topend, Chinese sterling silver rickshaw (25) good, 1900 Bertolt Mueller Chester silver cherub on a pig (199) 150-250.

The Distraction:
Natasha learns about a Victorian gadget that combines fashion and function. This turns out to be The Exemplar proprietary patented steam-powered Bigg-Black genital stimulator aka The Fortune Telling Fish, the staple of the Xmas cracker, along with Red Lips, a fiddly puzzle with instructions on a microdot, a joke beyond repair, and a Charade to cause a huge family argument later in the evening. Later a very Strict Natasha flogs Treepants with an antique Chatelaine. Terry Bullteeth bids 300 notes for the same experience. He'll have to join the queue snaking round the Showrooms.

​

The Auction:
Reds: Louis Vuitton toy mangle (profit), Marilyn Monroe's Bust (largish loss), Tri-ang Baby Walker (nice profit).
Marine Boy's BB is a Pair of Crown Devon Fieldings mugs (15), 20-30, 34. Decent profit there Bingo.



Blues: Glass West Highland terrier (small loss), Chinese sterling silver rickshaw (1 note loss), 1900 Bertolt Mueller Chester silver cherub on a pig (small loss).
Steph's BB is a Indian Babushka Nesting Boxes set of boxes (29), 30-40, 32. Small profit. Unlucky Steph with all those items.



The Aftermath:
Somerset antiques fair has had mixed results in the past. It's a Treepants Auction with plenty of familiar faces, Terry, Billy, Pram were spotted. They can spend big when they really want something. Terry loves his silver, particularly chewing on it. Both teams spend big with some interesting items. So, what happened. Well, Steph's Blues were on first, not always a good sign. The polite, quiet Blue male couple with with a flavour of the Orient (China not Leyton) picked 2 safeish items which on another day would have made small profits but ended up making small losses. This is the way the cookie crumbles sometimes. The cherub on a pig Chester silver at 199 was a risk, Treepants loved it, but unfortunately, there wasn't much competition in the room, a commissioned bid of 180 meant that Silver lover, Terry Bullteeth could pick it up for 190. A small loss. Steph then found a nifty set of nesting boxes, which made only a small profit and the Blues end up with a 13 note loss. Yet on another day, it would have been small profits on everything and a Golden Gavel. Marine Boys Reds, with the gobby female Woody Allen horror show, also spent big with a very unusual Louis Vuitton toy mangle, so rare that it's impossible to accurately value, Marilyn Monroe's well-used Bust, I'm sure it was in-person and in numerous minds, and a Tri-ang toy that was a baby walking profit. The 3 ended up making a small overall loss so it was up to Bingo's Bargain Buy, some classic Crown Devon mugs, to make a decent profit and drag the team back into a small overall 12 quid profit. Overall, a another entertaining episode, with Tash looking fabulous, 2 likeable experts, some annoying contestants, familiar friends in the Auction House and Treepants strutting his stuff like a New Romantic Peacock.



The Hi-Kick:
Standard indoor kick in front of boxes on shelves. Tash up early and high with her usual decent Growler kick. Everyone else hits par with good coordination with Steph stretching the seams of her tight skirt. Yes, YES!!

​

 

Stumbled across this article about The Wicker Man:

http://www.artcornwall.org/features/Wicker_Man/Summerism_The_Wicker_Man.htm

which also provided a link to a famous issue of Cinefantastique magazine:

http://www.artcornwall.org/features/Wicker_Man/Cinefantastique Vol 06 No 3 (1977) Wicker Man.pdf

 

"Well, you don't go home with any money, you don't go home with glory, you go home with a new friend in your address book, Steph.

And you go home with fleeces, so let's not say empty-handed, let's say the fleeces are your prize."

Well at least they know they won't be drunkenly pestering her and phoning up late at night heavy breathing.

Perhaps on request, an expert/presenter of your choice would sleep in them for a couple of nights before directly sending them on.

 

Another classic episode of The Travelling Auctioneers. This one will forever be known as Christina In The Sauna.

 

Utter filth, and I’m here for it.

 

He left Belmans and became a director somewhere else. He stopped being an Auctioneer on BH and his expert profits started to tail off compared to his earlier episodes

 

Those French Blues surrendered to the German Prussian Blue butterflies after they were infested with SS Kreig Moths a few years ago.

 

These are turning into classic Italian Fumetti movie photo books .

 

It's going to be a classic episode today.

Christina's got alot of bottle.

 

Red and Blue Milk. The mind boggles.

A pint each. That's alot of angst.

Great pre-credits opener.

Aren't arranged marriages BBC Diversity forbidden these days.

Do they want it. Ooo Suit You.

Tight Antique Centre Manager.

Hard hats needed for hard haggling.

 

Reefer Madness with Trilly's earrings.

 

JP talking them into a Humungus mistake with that brass chamber stick.

Reds in with a chance with those items but the Blues will sink without a trace.

Some classic Dirty Laughing today.

JP comatose rather than good fun.

Malvern Milking Maid. Time to fill them up Christina.

 

Blues like a fish out of water here

 

Gays creamery. LOL.

 

Covid Auction, with Treebeard on the phone and Weeks multiscreen.

Straight in at 120 for the boat!

Netski BB for Trilly.

JPs Blue have that sinking feeling.

Crash and Burn with that chamber stick.

60 note profit on the box picked out in a panic.

Treebeard doing his bit on the phone.

Decent entertaining episode.

Christina just Post-Covid still looks fabulous.

 

good old Weeks and his enthusiasm for that last valuation...really loves the BH game

 

Blues must have been fuelled by drugs and insanity to pay 165 for that candle holder.

 

Another JP disaster class, redeemed a little by the bonus buy

 

the boat floats!

not tunisian, then..

 

I reckon that Treebeard films his phone section afterwards and it is edited in. There's nobody on the other end of that phone.

 

Oof!

 

thought that other bottle said 'Lickmore' at first, too!

'gays lick more'... BBC pinko agitprop part 94

 

They really had a decent setup. At least 2 screens, Treebeard on the phone, and Weeks winkling out every pound with infinite patience.