Bargain Hunt

Race to the bottom.

Big Ben and his Big BB loss.

They reject, LOL.

It makes a small profit. Ha ha. Serves the harridans right.

Yes, feel smug with your overall loss.

 

Wispa's a "smug sausage"

 

Dressing gown made for 2 more like. Playtime cocoon. Bring it on.

 

King Henry illuminated by that Leprechaun lamp and a real Booming voice too.

 

Driller Killer Blue Monsters.

 

Is Phil having a Heart Attack? Perhaps that will come later after his Royal Worcs loss.

 

I'm over here Roo, in string vest and Y-Fronts.



The excitement is just far too much.

 

The Bogey Man pays us a visit on the front row. Go on dig it out.

 

Stephen Hawking in the Audience. Where are the Exotic Dancers?, he muses. This is Wrexham Steve not Stringfellows.

 

Phil finds his biggest fan having a little sit down.

 

Paul Gadd on day release has only a severely limited range of prey on hand.

 

Zieg.

 

Another Freezer Room Auction.

 

BBC approved preamble:
Oswestry 8
Series 68
https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m001ysjk
Sheena and Yvonne on the red team keep expert Philip Serrell on his toes, while Ben Cooper keeps the peace between blue team members, sisters Rachel and Elaine. Roo Irvine quizzes fairgoers with another mystery object on Bargain Hunt from Oswestry Showground. As members of the public puzzle over its use, two teams dash around the stalls, buying three items to sell at auction. In red, it’s nurses Sheena and Yvonne, and guiding them is their expert, Philip Serrell. Over with the blues, Ben Cooper has his work cut out keeping the peace between sisters Rachel and Elaine. Which team will conquer at the auction near Wrexham?

The Translation:
It's the lovely Roo again leading us by her bling-laden hand to the Oswestry Showground. Yes, we have been here very recently. This also means her assistants for today's episode will be Muggin' Muttley, our Tatty Tat Troubadour won't be singing the blues as he'll be with the Reds, and Butlin's answer to one half of Wham, Carloss Tragiwispa whose eternal signature tume of Bad Buys, Woo-woo, Boo-hoo, will be ringing in your ears long after the programme has finished and probably well into next week. King Mattew Henry will be gavel jousting again at his Wrexham tournament grounds, hoping to behead those heretical Catholic inspired losses. God Save The Bids.

The Staff:
[Gaffer] Delightful Roo Irvine, full of Eastern Promise
[Red Team Expert] Philip Muttley Serrell avec scarf de tat et pull-over de moth
[Blue Team Expert] Ben Carloss Wispa Tragicooper, bad buys woo-woo
[Auctioneer] Matthew Henry VIII Tong, Estimated, Bidden, Died, Estimated, Bidden, Flied
[Auction Location] Tong's Auction House, Wrexham
[Miserlin Rating] Unlisted

​

The Teams:
[Red Team] Nurses Sheena Easton and Yvonne-And-Barry (Retired).
(Challenge: Connection to entertainment)
[Blue Team] Warring sisters Rachel and Elaine, Radiograher and GP Receptionist, so she'll be blocking everything.
(Challenge: Connection with the outdoors.)

The Shopping:
Reds: 19th century glass medicine bottle in a turned wooden case (29) OK, Triang baby walker with blocks (28 Challenge) might struggle, Wooden carved index drawers (75) ouch.
Blues: Early 20th century Lucas King-of-the-world car lanp (25 Challenge) perfect, Art Deco Mantel clock with Westminster chime (54) ouch, 1960s Moorcroft vase (130) OK.

The Distraction:
Roo Irvine quizzes fairgoers with another mystery object on Bargain Hunt from Oswestry Showground. As members of the public puzzle over its use, two teams dash around the stalls, buying three items to sell at auction. Perhaps Roo could parade around the fair in her Dressing Gown style outfit asking fairgoers to guess what she is wearing underneath. Is it like asking what a true Scotsman wears beneath his kilt, jokes one. Is that a Ben Doone and Phil McCracken suggestion, she retorts with the usual twinkle in her eye. What bare-faced cheek, quite literally, which nicely brings us to the mystery object, it's a luxury Treen butt plug. Not quite so bare-faced afterwards then.

​

The Auction:
Reds: 19th century glass medicine bottle in a turned wooden case (3 loss), Triang baby walker with blocks (4 loss), Wooden carved index drawers (15 loss).
Muttley's BB is a Mid-20th century Royal Worcester hand-painted pin dish (39), 20-30, 30. Just a bit too rich Phil.

​

Blues: Early 20th century Lucas King-of-the-world car lanp (30 profit), Art Deco Mantel clock with Westminster chime (9 loss), 1960s Moorcroft vase (40 loss).
Tragicooper's BB is a Royal Worcester blackbird jug (29), REJECTED LOL, 20-30, 35. A 6 note profit makes Tragicooper mug, the cat that got the cream jug.

​

The Aftermath:
Lovely Roo fondling and fingering tactile objects, suede-booted, and wearing her very welcoming Burlesque-style dressing gown romping suit at the Auction. King Henry in his vocal element, showing he can hold a vocal bid then machine gun out the rest of them. Phil not playing up to the camera quite as much and Carloss Wispa gormlessly thinking he's having a good result, like the Tories desperately trying to pick out the positives in the carpet-bombed aftermath of local election results. Muttley's old nurses Red Team, quite useful for him if he keels over, made small losses on all their items including their brown furniture/desk big spend item to secure an Anti-GG, wooden spoon would have been more appropriate given the nature of the items. For his BB, Muttley returned to his main love, no not Peggy Mount, but some Royal Worcs, with a nice pin dish, that he paid just a tad too much for. So yet another small loss, for a small loss Grand Slam of 31 quid. Next up was Bad Penny Tragicooper's Blue Monster Team, with that Take No Prisoners GP receptionist. The car lamp makes a really good profit. GG here we come, says Roo. Hello, it's Carloss here my dear, that's not going to happen. Next item the clock makes the usual loss. LOL. Brief glimpse of the fabled GG evaporates. Ben still GG-less or should that be Car-GG-loss. A big loss on the Moorcroft, the earlier the better, advises Ben, not at any price Mr Yeti, wipes out their profit. He also goes Royal Worcs for his BB, with a neat jug, not as expensive as Phil's, and it makes a small profit. Beaming Ben will be dining out on that pin-pr1ck victory for weeks if not months. They still made a loss of 19 notes. Yet again, another entertaining episode, despite the losses.

​

The Hi-Kick:
Standard indoor kick in cramped conditions in poor light light so we can't see what's under Roo's kilt again. Roo gives us a lovely kick, Blues give a very poor effort, Reds just hit par but there is no coordination. Cooper hits par but Phil barely shakes his leg. Yes, YES!!

​

 

Good spot!

 

Top pick, surely.

 

The Pope's worst nightmare.

Such a weird outfit.

The Production Team Dressing Up Box has been well used recently.

Another Princess episode on Sunday. It's one that's in the database but hasn't been shown since reports were done. Yum, yum, yum.

 

Get ready, it's Legacy Time again.
BBC approved preamble:
Cornwall
S46E11
https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b08gjfy1
Eric Knowles presents from the Royal Cornwall Showground with experts Caroline Hawley and Ben Cooper. Two brothers take on a mother and daughter to buy three items that will hopefully make a profit at auction. The reds meet Woody, the mannequin with a difference, while the blues are on the hunt for silver. Eric investigates the origins of the cream tea and reveals why the trade in early English porcelain had its roots in Cornwall.

The Translation:
After the heady visual, aural, and oral exploits of Tash and Christina, pursued by Pervy Dave in Swinging London, we had to make do with 4 episodes of subtitle only malarkey. Well, we're now back will the full visual and audio experience. It's such a shame it's the disappointing vista of Carloss The Clottus and the Aural Experience of Absolute Agony, Jericho Bawley. Luckily, it's not an Uncle Eric The Longhair edition, as Covid is not even the twinkle in the eye of a Chinese Wet Market Stall Holder. Having the creepy face of doom that is borrowed by The Unded Eldred for his visits to the surface, makes our hearts sing with joy, before they're ripped out from our torso, and then sold for a pittance, to those miserly tinflints in Cornwall. Welcome to the West Country. You'll never leave as there's no decent transport out of here, or into here either as a matter of fact.

The Staff:
[Gaffer] Eric Knowles
[Red Team Expert] Caroline Hawley
[Blue Team Expert] Ben Cooper
[Auctioneer] Anthony Eldred
[Auction Location] Eldreds Auctioneers & Valuers, Plymouth
[Miserlin Rating] Two Stars

The Teams:
[Red Team] Brothers Kelvin and Trevor
[Blue Team] Mother and daughter Freya and Bethany

​

The Shopping:
Reds: Unusual shop mannequin (120) 60-80 ouch, Baguette box (20) 30-50 good, 3 20th-century Mason ironstone dishes (65) 20-30 struggle. Total spend 205.
Blues: Little blue-glaze Moorcroft vase (68) 40-60 a chance, Silver pendant scent bottle (28) 10-15, Rustic Scales (30) 5-10 Ouch. Total spend 126.

The Distraction:
Eric investigates the origins of the cream tea and reveals why the trade in early English porcelain had its roots in Cornwall. Uncle Eric discovers the origins of the cream pie particularly when sourced from a large helmet-shaped creamer as so beloved on this forum. The origins can be attributed to Oriental Glamour model China Clay and her heavily salt-glazed jugs. Does Cream Pie go with sausage?, ponders Eric. Not 'arf.

​

The Auction:
Reds: Unusual shop mannequin (35 loss), Baguette box (8 profit), 3 20th-century Mason ironstone dishes (45 loss).
Foghorn's BB is a Sampson Mordan and Co. Silver pin tray with a mounted 2-pence coin (35), it's a plain thing says the Undead Eldred just like Bawley 20-30, 45. It makes a tenner. A King's ransom at this place.

​

Blues: Little blue-glaze Moorcroft vase (8 loss), Silver pendant scent bottle (Evens stevens), Rustic Scales (22 loss).
Tragicooper's BB is a Ship brooch made from some HMS Victory copper (17), a good buy instead of Cooper's usual good-bye 20-30, 22. It makes a fiver. Crack open the Babycham.

​

The Aftermath:
Cornwall v Devon Cream Tea Wars. Eric's about to explode. Both ways are delicious. I have the same sentiments when the Steamstress is on. Both ways. Eric dressed like a Lemon Puff.

​

Red Younger brother did something special for the wife. Water sports? Pegging? He took her up Niagara so to speak. I hope he didn't do it bareback. Other Brother was a Royal Navy Chef. He had to do the Royal Wedding Cake for Prince Paedo no less. I hope he shat in it and got him and his mates to add the creamiest icing they could muster.

​

I wonder if Jeffrey Epstein was invited and Maxwell's Pervy Daughter. Perhaps not as he got married in 86. More naval money well spent. He had a chance to wonder round Buck House. I hope he managed to acquire some antique keepsakes for flogging at a later date. Blue Hairdressing Mother and Daughter, Horse teeth and Bugs Bunny. Is that a lacey top daughter is hiding under her fleece. Mother met Charles and Lady Rothmans in Riyadh. This is getting more and more surreal. Daughter wants to like work like in hospitality like in a bar and do like an apprenticeship. So that's learning how to pour drinks, work the microwave, and ignore the customers while chatting to your mates. Ladies and Gents please meet The Jaws family. Der-de-der-de-der-de-der-de-der-de .....

​

So much Royal grovelling today. Pass the sick bucket aka the By Appointment pail. Eric says Blue Bird has her Mum's gift of the gab. Well she's certainly inherited her set of teeth. Foghorn and the Yeti are the so-called experts. Caroline sporting her new hat.

​

Blues not great at haggling. Foghorn has to explain what kitch means to the Audience. Musical cigarette dispenser. A Fag juke box or is that something else? It's obviously inspired by the Camberwick Green Musical Box, wound up and ready to play. This box has a secret inside. Can you guess what's in it today? Yes, it's a classic pack of John Player's No. 6.

​

Foghorn makes a, make it snappy joke, with a crocodiles mouth, then repeats the joke, and repeats it again, and AGAIN. Jericho dressed like an Alpine maiden, I use the term very loosely, which she probably is. Think of the terrible yodeling. Think of the catastrophic avalanches.

​

The Undead Eldred generally giving terribly low estimates as usual The life blood of the auction has already been drained from its neck.For some unknown reason, the video ends at the end of the valuations. Well that's a bit shiiit. I'll have to finish off, so to speak, with the subtitles.

Eldred draines the life out so much that this uploaded video keeled over. Reds up, with Woody the strange mannequin. Oh dear 35 loss. Hilariously bad start for Jericho. Now the French baguette bin. 8 note profit. Anti-GG avoided. Now those dishes. 65 paid. Get ready to cringe. They lose 45. Yup, the Undead strike again. 72 down. Can Jericho save them from a 3-figure loss? Silver pin tray BB. It makes a tenner. Actually, that is a result here. Front page of the Plymouth Puritan or whatever they call the local rag. Reds end on a loss of 62. No, it's all gone well, says somebody. Appalling really that a substantial loss is seen as pretty good.

Tragicooper's Blues now up. Brace yourselves. Lovely little Moorcroft baluster vase at 68 quid. Oooo it actually gets to 60 but in it's death throes can't quite wring out another 9 quid. Yet another Wispa GG opportunity falls at the first hurdle LOL. Everything to play for, says the useless Yeti. Silver pendant scent bottle. Wipes its face at 28. A mild improvement. Kitchen weighing scales. Now these were genuine tat. 30 note eyesore. Bid goes down to 2 notes. Ho ho. Going up in pound increments. Painful to read. 8 notes. That's a -22 loss. Shocking, they actually paid 8 notes for them. Currently at minus 30. Now, that copper ship badge BB. Copper allegedly from HMS Victory. Yeah, of course it is. As genuine as my full sized signed poster of the BH babes sending me their undying love along with their phone numbers. 17 notes for a bit of metal. It actually sells for 22. A fiver profit for Bungle Ben. 25 down overall. A Total Victory inspired by the tat from the Victory.

An Undead Auction and 2 terrible experts. Forecast was grim. Not quite as bad as first feared. Both BBs make small profits. One of Hawley's purchases makes a profit then countered by 2 large losses on the other items, sinking them to a 62 GBP loss. None of Tragicooper's 3 items made profits, a break even, a small loss, and a larger one. They finish only 25 down. An Undead Auction which doesn't lose 100+ quid total overall loss with Bawley and Cooper as the experts. Now, that is a genuine turn-up for the books. Must be something in the sea air. Yes, Seagull shiiit.

Reds -62 GBP
Blues -25 GBP

The Hi-Kick:
We are saved from the inevitable Jericho Growler Kick.

 

Foghorn with that weapon...
'Battleaxe wields battleaxe'

Wispa is very appropriately holding a traffic sign that warns of hazard ahead: viz. 'Wham members careering into Snappy Snaps; may cause car loss.'

 

Sunday highlights:
Princess gasping as she fingers a huge shiny organ.
Princess thigh shape below lovely floaty dress.
Princess near-bare foot close-up as she treads on bellows.
Erm...the lots were tedious, so attention was distracted.

 

Firing glass has big round bottom, winks Fat Phil self-deprecatingly.
Princess giggles at thought of his trousers down.
Glass's huge masonic symbol goes unremarked. Everyone's squared?
Trousers rolled up rather than down, then.

 

Ah Castles, perfect ones to house a Princess. Which tower is the Steamstress imprisoned in? The one where you can hear Dirty Laughing of course. Will she let down her hair, or maybe let down other things and show us her hair. Cough.

They come in all shapes and sizes. Indeed they do.

Will she be wearing one of those vertically-pointing hats, to match my current elevation?

She now appears in leathers. Lovely.

We're going to be seeing what's inside later. Can't wait.

Antique Centre Shop. Will there be Ooooo kisses like on a famous Antiques Road Trip visit?

Oh blimey. A Dour-Jones Auction. They never end well.

An early bit of tongue.



Red bloke detects metal. With Christina I definitely find wood.

He wants to find silllllllllver.

Blue Bloke is called Taha. Will it be A-HaHa or Ta-ta for Taha.

They were biolody student dissection psrtners. Lets probe these organs together.

The Blokes vigourously slap their pockets when money is mentined. Techically, that's classed as a w@nk.

2 cracking experts evidently.

Muttley and Trilly. Our Top 2. Yup cracking.

Phil describes as Mr Fun. Haha.

Heil-o, Red Bloke thinks he's spotted the Wokesfuhrer.



Welsh connection. Is that a Leek and Sheep international smuggling network? O perhaps it's a Cymru fashion chain of traditional hats and cocooning quilts for those winter nights.

An item you can play or play with. Christina'a Electric Blue Challenge.

Muttley instantly spots some Stuart Devlin candesticks. Didn't he play for Wattie? No, that was Paul. Our star player in one of Ray Loo's sides of parsimony.

Not silver, so move on. Trilly would have instantly detected whether they were.

Balls to play with?

Trilly confusing Pool with Snooker. You just need a white cue, black 8, and 2 sets of colored balls, usually red and yellow Trills. Surprising gap in your knowledge. Do you need someone to fill your gap?

Yes, think about the balls.

Georg Jensen spoon. Too pricey.

Terrible upcycled Jerry can guitar. What a waste of both items.

Cheep cheep Welsh glass.

Drinking jokes. Make mine a double, quips Christina. Cough, swoon.

Marvellous Marvin Haggler jokes Phil. Very good Muttley.

Good haggling. Gets the 12 note glass for 8. Even in stingy Cardiff, that's a profit.

Are you UP for Christina's Special Challenge?

Trilly straight to the silver.

Get the Harpoon ready. Blue Whale/Wale/Wail centre manager for the Blue team.



Mind, she's generous with her discounts. No doubt generous with the portion sizes too.

Do you want to whip it out?, asks Phil.

He now suggests they go for something lumpy.

Trilly's got the whiff of silver in her nostrils now.

Another spoon, but it's a big one. A basting spoon. You could stir alot of custard with that.

Trilly says she's always mean with her estimates. I wonder where she resides?

Ah she has a business web page: https://katebliss.co.uk/

"Kate is an approved registered valuer with the Royal Institution of Chartered Surveyors and a Fellow of the Gemmological Association of Great Britain.

Born into a successful auctioneering businesses, Kate grew up in the auction world and has always been fascinated by the history and craftsmanship of beautiful objects. After graduating from Brasenose College, Oxford, Kate studied fine art and specialised in jewellery & silver. With over 20 years experience in the fine art and antiques business, Kate covers all the main areas such as ceramics, furniture, textiles, paintings and works on paper.

Frequently appearing as an expert valuer and presenter on television, Kate runs her own valuation practice and is consultant with a number of UK auction houses, undertaking valuations in her home county of Herefordshire, London and the provinces."

Oxbridge graduate, I see.

Another decent discount. 100 notes for a big lump of silver.

World War II Fire Guard Steet Party sign. Not that sort of street party.

After a vicious haggle, Julie Blue Whale says she'll be on beans for a week. Yeah, with a kilo of mature cheddar melted in, lashings of butter on toast, and a steak plate the size of the M4 corridor to pile it all on. The farting out of her blow hole will be legendary.

Will all that hard haggling now come to naught in Misery-Hartson's Cardiff?

More superb Dirty Laughing.



A very gammon-faced Phil is on good quipping form again.



That glass is very delicate and well-preserved, let's hope it's not damaged in transit.

Yet another superb full-throated Dirty Laugh from Lady Lovely .... and again. Multiple chortlegasms.



How would she have coped watching The Naked Gun, Team America, Monty Python and the Holy Grail, There's Something About Mary, or early Woody Allen in the cinema.

 

Time for a lesson in sweet music featuring the Princess.

Sofie Grabol doing The Distraction for Christina. Let's hope the buyers don't make a Killing in the Auction later.



Christina looks radiant in this light.



She gently beats the instruments.

Now she pumps the bellows on the organ. It's definitely getting hotter in here.

Wow says Christina when her eyes glimpse the huge organ for the first time.

Christina worships its large girth.



You can play it if you like, says Sophie.



The Steamstress uses both hands and sweet music is made.

Sounds like the music from Conrad Poos and his Amazing Dancing Teeth.



Off to Cardiff.



Looks like a silo in some industrial park in the middle of nowhere.

Christina is welcomed in Welsh and she orgasms on the spot.



Reds items valued very positively.

I like the squeak, regarding the dog on wheels, not the dustbin expert. You'll always know where your children are. LOL. Very good Ben. It tickles the Princess.



Pretty positive for the Blues too. I think they've done about as well as can be expected with the purchases after some heavy discounting.

Now it's time to see how tight the Cardiff Misers are today.

He's going to be wearing a tie. Is this some form of code for sex?

I look forward to seeing you in action giggles the Gorgeous one. Perhaps it is a coded message.

Christina wearing a single zip, quick release dress. Nice.

Phil looks like a trussed up self-basting turkey.



Looks like an Internet-only auction.

The Misers have started. Only 2 notes on the glass.

Jensen spoon is climbing but falls 20 short.

Muttley is excited about the sign. That'll be the kiss of death on it then.

It makes a profit. 7 notes of actual profit. In internet space you can hear them scream as the pound coins are extracted, one by one.

Phil's BB is a firing glass with a big round bottom.

Oooooh, dirtily laughs Christina.

"The heavy foot on this glass indicates that it was of the type used as a "firing glass," to be pounded on the table after a toast." Just like those Tory public-school tw@ts do in the Commons.

Oh dear. Dutch Auction start at 30. Climbing slowly. It wipes it's face.

Dreadful says Phil. All that effort just to stand still. Your Auctions are no better Muttley.

Reds end on 11 notes down. That's brilliant for Cardiff.

Blues on now.

Trilly silver. It loses a fiver. Mean bunch.

Dog on wheels. Profit. Up to 50. 18 profit. Excellent.

Big spoon next. 40 loss. That's alot of silver for that price.

Can Trilly save them all with her BB. Ah more Trilly silver. It's a silver sovereign case.

If I was being mean, estimates Kate. Trilly the Posh Punisher.

Dutch Auction again. Starts at 30 and ends at 30. A loss of 5.

They finish 32 notes down. Does seem harsh.

If you think you can do better than our teams today. Definitely not in Cardiff. Keeping the combined loss to 41 is quite remarkable.

 

BBC approved preamble:
Narberth 27
Series 60
https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m0011780
Join Christina Trevanion for this edition of Bargain Hunt from Wales. Experts Philip Serrell and Kate Bliss guide their teams as they pick three items to take to auction in Cardiff. Christina has a music lesson in one of Pembrokeshire’s finest stately homes, Picton Castle.

The Translation:
Join Christina Trevanion. I think we'd all like to do that, physically and figuratively, as she ventures to West Wales and to an Antiques Centre in Narberth. Fingers crossed that we get decent non-Yorks/Scots/Norfolk discounts. Travelling out to the Wild West to meet up with her will be Wild Phil Hiccup, the Royal Worcester card sharp, well sharpish anyway, and Little Trilly Oakley, the expert silver shooter. So, it's the Top 2 experts joining up with the Top Presenter, shame then, that the Auction with be with Ben Dour Jones in the Misery Miserly Mausoleum which resides in Cardiff. Prospects for profit are extremely low.

The Staff:
[Gaffer] Steamstress Christina Trevanion
[Red Team Expert] Philip Muttley Serrell avec scarf de tat, pullover de moth et gillet piqure de puce
[Blue Team Expert] Posh Kate Shrilly Trilly Bliss
[Auctioneer] Ben Misery Rogers Jones, John Hartson's waxwork
[Auction Location] Rogers Jones & Co Fine Art Auctioneers, Cardiff
[Miserlin Rating] One Star

​

The Teams:
[Red Team] Mature partners male teaching assisstant and scarey unhinged looking admin officer female. He detects metal.
(Challenge: Welsh connection)
[Blue Team] Retired Male (BBC BAME Diversity box ticked) and Nursie female partners.
(Challenge: You can play or play with)

The Shopping:
Reds: Victorian Welsh commemorative glass tumbler (8 Challenge) brilliant, Georg Jensen silver caddy spoon (90) possibly, World War II Fire Guard Street Party enamel sign (48) OK.
Blues: Moss agate and silver daisy (25) good, Merrythought dog on wheels (32 Challenge) OK, 1803 Thomas Wallis silver basting spoon (100) a little rich but maybe.

The Distraction:
Christina has a music lesson in one of Pembrokeshire’s finest stately homes, Picton Castle. Lady Gorgeous gets to make sweet music at a local stately home. Will it be the Organ or Pink Oboe she plays? Or is she a tinkerer of the ivories.

​

The Auction:
Reds: Victorian Welsh commemorative glass tumbler (2 profit), Georg Jensen silver caddy spoon (20 loss), World War II Fire Guard Street Party enamel sign (7 profit).
Muttley's BB is a 19th century firing glass (50), 50-70 in with a chance, 50. All that effort for nowt.

​

Blues: Moss agate and silver daisy (5 loss), Merrythought dog on wheels (18 profit), 1803 Thomas Wallis silver basting spoon (40 loss).
Trilly's BB is a 1908 silver sovereign case (35), 30-50, 30. Dear oh dear. Deserved to make a profit.

​

The Aftermath:
Christina looking great and in superb laughing and giggling form. Top sexacting. Dour-Jones making a few dry quips. The Steamstress does appear to be able to extract the best out of everyone. Excellent discounts from the generous Antique Centre Managers. Phil and Kate on good experting form. Internet only for the Cardiff Auction. Normally with the Tafflints in the Auctions are pretty dire so online only won't detract from this experience. It still pretty bad though with profits as meagre as beer left on a match day. Red Bloke from Phil's Team haggled hard to get good discounts and 2 of their items made small profits, but these were wiped out by the Jensen caddy spoon. Muttley's glass wiped its face and the Reds end on a creditable 11 in the red. Trilly's Blues were sunk by their big spoon big spend. In fact their only profit was the dog on wheels. The other 2 silver items including Kate's BB making fiver losses. They end 32 notes down. Not a disaster in these neck of the woods. Entertaining episode with plenty going on despite the crap Auction.

​

The Hi-Kick:
Indoor Covid diagonal, Christina up quickly and firmly, just like yours truly, to sport a fine Growler kick, Red Bloke and Muttley both up to a good par, along with Trilly, with Blue Bloke not quite hitting par. Both female contestants are very slow to reach eventual par, letting the side down. Yes, YES!!

​

 

There's Something About Christina.

 

Are you UP for Christina's Personal Challenge.

 

Dear Lord. Please send Christina and the other BH girls here for a future Distraction.

 

Some full-size Lobby Cards:

 

Lobby Cards Set I:

 

Lobby Cards Set II:

 

A Travel Special. Is it Christina and the girls visiting exotic foreign locations wearing sexy beach ware showing off their tanlines? No, it'll be Uncle Eric climbing aboard a Traction Engine in a drizzling Northern location. Welcome to a typical BH special.

 

Princess driving a funicular...blimey, a target-rich sequence. Virtually every line and shot is Finbarrtastic.

 

Very entertaining special. So much grist for the mill. I'm just sharpening my Quill so to speak.

 

i wonder where Timmy is tonight...glued to Really?

7pm. Antiques Road Trip: Izzie

 

My bad, it's a Railway Special. Luxury trip to Vienna on the Orient Express? Exiting adventure aboard the Trans-Siberian Railway? No, we're at the Didcot Railway Centre in Oxfordshire. Welcome to BBC Budget saving Bargain Hunt.

Uncle Eric looking like Harry Palmer's Great Uncle. He's been dying his eyebrows again.



First locomotive built by George Stephenson and his son Robert Louis who also wrote Treasure Island in his spare time.

Foghorn wearing her Alpine Giallo Hat lifted from the film The Pheasant in a Gizzard's Waistcoat of Puke.

Eric's going to doing a chart countdown later in his Ode to JOI, I mean Joy.

Here we go start the segment off looking for a challenge item, find out it's too expensive, and then stumble onto something related to the theme of the programme.

Cast iron signs. Look for the reassuring provenance of rust. The more the merrier.

Bigger is often better.

Give the FH railway sign to Fred Holmes or how about Foghorn Hawley.



Spying a sneaky pair of DDs you don't expect them to be a Double Dustbin Dan, Double Squeak Hats.



Plaidy now. Train made out of car parks!!!! Oh, car parts.

Is there a good reason for they only made one?, quips Nick.

Dealer says 40 if you twist her arm.

20 or we call the police, says stern Blue mother, blackmailing the nice lady with a hate crime threat. Hold your horses, Nick might be wearing Plaid but this is Detling not Scotland.

The irony of BAME Blue bird being called Coulson.

Model railway gauges explained. OO being the most popular while in other sorts of models the TT is gauge of pleasure.

Cockinmouth mentioned. Steph's local. Is she going to make a welcome appearance?

No, it's tired men in anoraks creaming themselves over original boxes rather than the local expert.

Chuffed with their buy. Very good Eric.

Eric's countdown mentioned again.

On no, off to Scousepool, home of the Great Train Robbery, where every time the Reds or the Toffees play away, the train service buffet trolley becomes seriously lighter as it progresses down the train without a penny being made.

Oh I remember them, the Boss and his female fluffer. That Horn.

They are shocked to find they have Gary.



No, no, no, he says when introducing himself, on the inevitable question about lending them a tenner.

Even the old lady dealer screeches Errrrrrrrmmmmmm 15 in that unmistakable way.

The horn was used to alert the lads when the Bizzies arrived during some unofficial railway unloading.

Actually, originally used to warn passengers of Scousers on board and to keep an eye on all your valuables.

Horns may show sign of wear and tear but a really good one can bring home the bacon so to speak. Cough.

Red Bloke obviously has the horn for his underling or work husband and wife as she maintains.

Ooooh, Tash is on a date.

She's holding a largish item, cupping the base, feeling the weight. It's heavy she says in her hand.

She strokes the back of it.

Something may come out.



It's actually a ticket dating machine for when tickets are felling lonely and randy.

Trilly in Leominster with Mother and Carbs loving daughter.

Trilly loves the gavel, but we know unless it's related to a railway, which it isn't, then it's fluff filler before they find choo-choo rattle tattle.

Acme Thunderer whistle on a chain. If only Wile E Coyote had one. He could have given the road runner a Red card in true Strict Natasha fashion. Incidentally, Tash always keeps one about her person in a very discreet place. Buy her some Bucky and she'll show you where.

She gives it a most pathetic blow. I bet Catherine could blow the pea out through it's slot.

Now, we're in Elsie's car wherever Elsie parked it.

Black guy Elvis has been with his beau for a deep long 17 years. Emphasis on the word long.

They are joined by Foghorn who scares the living daylights out of them.

Then they see the outfit she's is wearing. Yet another shock for them.

For Elvis, this could be a looonnnnggg shop.

Once again non-railay padding search to start which means we have to listen to Jericho boring our arses to death with her patois.

John Simm turns up to open the cabinet. Is that the Wokesfuhrer in the background.



It's a Royal Pocket Diary with WC on the front. A guaranteed total toilet item. So nothing to do with railways then. Next!!!

A lantern. Is it magic> If you rub it vigorously, you'll get a Dirty Laugh and the Steamstress will appear in a later segment.

Madders in Exeter with 2 fire fighters dismissing 2 non-playing cricket bats.

Why would we buy them? They will burn nicely and give you 20 quids worth of warmth.

Railway cap and lights now.

Look like props from The Signalman.

Railway uniforms now. Woolly and itchy.

Now it's time for Christina to take a ride on a different type of "train".

She'll be putting the fun into funicular railway.

Time for our own vertical rise.



Think of the tools they had!!

It was developed by Karl Marx of Croydon to save the grinding knees of the proletariat.

It's Electric she says. Yes, you are, reply us all.

The number of knees saved produces a fine Dirty Laugh.

Claude Littner is going to show her how to raise everyone upwards.

How does it work?, she asks.

Note for foot fetishists. She looks to be wearing boots.

The lever is thrust up and the gas sprays out.



Christina takes full control.



Claude is about to deliver his passengers.

It's like reverse parking, she breathlessly exclaims.

A Dirty Laugh to finish too, like a post-coital smoke.