Watford FC 2-0 Brighton & Hove Albion - 11/08/2018

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IT'S BACK! AND IT'S BETTER THAN EVER! Forget about the World Cup because Sky didn't have the rights, the best league in the world™ returns next weekend and with it, a clash to whet the appetites of football fans around the world - Watford v Brighton, putting the turd into Soccer Saturday.

So what's happened over the summer? Well, for once we have the same head coach as last season, as Javi Gracia mumbled his way into a shot at a second season. This is a huge advantage as he knows the majority of the squad, so has already despatched a third of them to the treatment room where they belong. Hopefully he's been putting the rest of them through training drills as exciting and easy to understand as this all pre-season:

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The whole of the first choice midfield hasn't played a minute of pre-season, nor has biggest money signing Deulofeu. There's no injury crisis though, it's completely normal to try an 18 year old centre back, another centre back who's permanently injured and something called a Jack Rodwell out to see if any can partner fourth choice centre midfielder Etienne Capoue. Also, Younes Kaboul - what's the point? We've signed some players but no striker or senior centre back in this moment, with just 4 days of the window left.

Our opponents hail from the People's Republic of Brighton, which seems a nice enough place - all tolerance, park-and-rides and Green Party Councillors. Ok, their football team is a bit boring with Steady Eddie Chris Hughton at the helm but you can't really dislike them. It was more fun playing them when we were in the Championship and various combinations of Deeney, Vydra, Forestieri and Ighalo would tear them to pieces like the six point fodder they were. Last season we turned the tables and gifted them four points, didn't score and only managed one shot on target over the two games. The only thing anyone can remember of those two encounters was Miguel Britos' dirty protest at being played out of position at left back, which was worth throwing away two points for, just to hear the outrage from various rent-a-moron pundits. Thumb pointing goon Garth Crooks claimed "I have not seen a tackle like that in 400 years" or something like that and Gary Lineker put on his extra shocked rubber face during Match of the Day.

"That was a disgraceful tackle by Britos..."

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Brighton finished one place below Watford last season, with one point LESS/FEWER but identical goal difference. We scored ten more than them but they conceded ten LESS/FEWER. They were a sort of functional lower-mid table team, plodding along scoring LESS/FEWER than a goal a game but getting a lot of goodwill as the media love Chris Hughton and his backwards, safety first football, and they've got a nice stadium. For this game, Brighton have somehow managed to accrue injury and fitness issues that nearly rival the Hornets, with old man striker Glenn Murray getting a knock in pre-season, and Jurgen Locadia, Florin Andone and Jose Izquierdo all struggling to be fit.

Anyway, this would have been a game that we should be targeting to win to get the season off to a flyer but as we're already likely to be sticking a patched-up team out there, and playing two upfront just so we can bypass our non-existent midfield, we should probably be content enough if we extend our rather impressive record of not losing an opening day game since 2006/7. Up the Hornets!

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Our previous three seasons first games have all resulted in draws
15/16 Away or Everton 2-2 (scored and conceded in the last 10 minutes)
16/17 Away to Southampton (scored in the first half, had Watson sent off then conceded in the 2nd half)
17/18 Home to Liverpool (played well, but slightly fortunate to get a point with a very late Britos goal)

So I'm hoping we can get a winning start this season against Brighton, whom we should have beaten in our second home game last year, however having Britos sent off in the first 30 minutes didn't help and we had to settle for a 0-0 draw!

 

What a brilliant write up, I spat my tea in to my cornflakes laughing, great way to start a Monday morning

Cant wait for Saturday, slightly baffled as to who will actually be starting for us, its almost like 2PM is the new 3PM.

Fingers crossed, lets get out the traps with 3 points please.

 

Did Paul Merson just copy-and-paste his write up from last season? "I worry for Watford..."

http://www.skysports.com/football/n...ason-preview-hornets-lacking-forward-momentum

 

Oh my God... It's almost here... The FOOOTBALL LEAGUE IS ALMOST F***ING HEEERE.

 

Also we need LESS/FEWER Britoses and Kaboulses

 

0-3. Knockaert 2, Vydra (after joining them on a deadline day transfer for £250k and cupping his ear after scoring)

 

The easiest three points you'll ever see.

Top of the table at the end of the weekend, I reckon.

Brighton fans will be euphoric.

 

Brilliant write-up, thank you.

Almost more excited for another year of the Watford Football Club Superfun Injury Rollercoaster ™ than the actual season itself.

 

Jonathon Moss has been appointed as the referee for the game. What's his record like with us?

 

He's grateful that our name begins with a 'W' and not an 'R', so he tends to look upon us quite favourably.

 

looking at the next 6 games after this one...

Burnley away
Crystal Palace home
Tottenham home
Man Utd home
Fulham away
Arsenal away

a win in this game would be helpful.

 

Come on watford

 

The least optimistic I’ve felt going into a new season for a long time.

That clip Steve Leo B posted just sums it all up.

Inadequate summer recruitment (so far). Injury worries everywhere you look. And Coco the Clown still in charge.

Uffffff.

 

2-0 .... a comfortable start

 

I think Gracia is the least of the worries to be honest. He’s been dealt a bad hand this season.

 

I’d be very pleased with a scrappy 1-0 in this one.

 

Please Gravy, don't play Britos.

 

I'd be happy if the ball bounced off a beach ball thrown from the rookery in the 90th minute which lead to a goal ala Liverpool V Sunderland a couple of seasons ago!

 

If the rumours are true and Brighton have that many starting 11 players out, then I feel quite confident. If Chris is being a very naughty boy and telling us porkies, then I would be happy to come away with a point.

 

TBF Deeney looks like he's lost a lot of weight, if it means the 2015 version is back I think we will be pleasantly surprised

 

He can't keep up with play and gives untold stupid yellow cards. Another season isn't going to make him any fitter so expect him to be as red faced and puffing as the rest of our midfield after about 12 minutes.

 

When does the old Malteser start posting again? The one who gave fair and balanced views on everything. This anti Gracia stuff is not like you

 

A win in any game is helpful.

 

The best we can hope for is 0-0 unless a Brighton player scores an own goal.

 

As demoralised as some seem on here about the worst case scenario, at least a relegation battle may keep us actually interested into May rather than our season ending in January leaving us watching 3 or 4 months of sure turgid and pointless football, and will keep it exciting.

And if we're relegated, then we are back in the championship which again is at least a more fun league to be in where every game is an opportunity.

I don't mind it all and (don't get me wrong, it's positive for us as a club to be here) quite frankly I'm a little tired and bored of being in the Premier league at the moment.

 

Would it surprise you to learn that the Liverpool beach ball incident happened 9 years ago?

 

It certainly would and has!, time flys just like the beach ball!

 

The defence is improved, we’ve kept our very decent midfield, Deeneys been to weight watchers, and you never know Penaranda might have as big an impact as Richarlison who was himself nothing more than a bit of a punt. Yes I said punt not ****. Happy days.

 

Hot dogs sausage rolls, come on Watford score some goals .

4-0 Brighton

 

Looks like Brighton will be without Andone, Izquierdo and Locadia...but then again we could be without Doucoure, Chalobah and Deulofeu. Brighton took full advantage last time when Doucoure was suspended.

 

He’s a bit of a chameleon.