What Made Me Larf Today

I thought that. Let’s face it, if Leigh Francis ever makes anyone laugh, that will be the least of his crimes against humanity.

 

He used to make me laugh on Bo Selecta and early Celeb Juice was hilarious, gone too mainstream for me now.

 

I’m afraid he has never made me laugh. He seems like a bully and a horrible person. Harsh?

 

Tremendous stuff. I only watched the first few series that were on Channel 4, but they were terrific. I agree that it’s a much more subtle, but still laugh out loud offering and ultimately warmer for it.

 

The pretender Max Verstappen not finishing "The Bahrain Grand Prix" as HB1 says on another thread "Karma is so Sweet"

 

Did he lose the world championship as well? “Omg” I never knew F1 was so “cut throat”. Well done to new champ Lewis! Oh, sorry. “Charles Leclerc”. It is I Leclerc etc.

 

There's a prequel to this from 5 years ago. It appears to have become reality.

 

The God that is Mike Judge.

Here is the opening scene to his film Idiocracy, shame the rest of the film doesn't live up to this:

 

In tears after reading this.

https://havokjournal.com/culture/military/case-study-ramadi-a-ranger-looks-back/

 

This genuinely came through my door today, would anybody trust this Dr for a cosmetic procedure?

 

Comedy as the name is, a @gmail.com based email address for a business is honestly a huge red flag for me (for any business).

 

Yeah absolutely, I actually sent it to someone I know on that basis saying how unprofessional it was, especially for something like a supposed medical professional, it was that that initially jumped out before I even spotted the name!

 

Best comment by BIGSUCC "Finally Will produced some good music".

 

Do you think he’d do the lot for a grand ?
Yes couldn’t be more dodgy. Gmail email, mobile/no land line, and no surgery address. I presume he just turns up with a bunch of syringes and some rubber gloves in a Tesco bag for life.

 

I actually booked a botox appointment with them


But I never followed through with it.

 

I imagine he also does colonic irrigation if you have a follow through issue.

 

As an aside, this hateful harridan was on W@1 this lunchtime bemoaning what a ghastly place twitter was and how she strongly advises all her guests not to look at it on the night her/their show's transmitted...

A gay colleague of mine used to recount, frankly quite scary tales of, what she would do to Kirsty Allsopp if she had the opportunity.

 

Did it involve feasting on a particular posh carpet?

 

https://framed.wtf/

 

Following the Porn MP in the Commons, the ever reliable Martina Hyde has updated the Tory's old slogan.

Labour Isn't VVanking.

https://www.theguardian.com/comment...vernment-ministers-sexual-misconduct-cronyism

 

https://newsthump.com/2022/04/28/ti...-black-teenager-in-case-it-harms-his-defence/
Tim Westwood to stop talking like a black teenager in case it harms his defence


Former bad ass DJ Tim Westwood has stunned his legal team by discussing his impending case with a cut-glass accent and received pronunciation this morning.

Tim has been accused of sexual misconduct by a number of women who have since switched to Radio 2, and is taking steps to prepare his defence.

Tim, a 64 year-old white man from Lowestoft, has built his career on sounding like a black teenager from south London, but insists he doesn’t want to be treated like one by the authorities.

Tim, who now insists on being called “Timothy”, would like to be treated by police like the semi-retired white vicar’s son from the seaside that he is.

Although he initially greeted attending police officers with a robust “Wagwaan,” Westwood is said to have later moderated his accent as the seriousness of the allegations became clear and ended the tape-recorded interview using received pronunciation.

The champion of hip hop was also quick to point out who his father was and maintains he has always ticked the “White British” box when completing census forms, which he does on-time, and to the letter.

Westwood’s case is said to have confused officials who having listened to his show turned up expecting to arrest a black man and were appropriately kitted out with the regulation tasers, tear gas and several rounds of ammo.

Questioning Officer, DC Simon Williams, said, “We take allegations of sexual assault very seriously – unless it’s one of our own, obviously – but I must say as a regular listener to Tim, sorry Timothy’s program, this all seems totally out of character.

“I came here today fully expecting to say stuff like ‘you’ll get twenty years for this you black *******’, but Timothy comes across as a nice boy from a decent home, so let’s not jump to any premature conclusions shall we?

“I’m sure we’ll have this little misunderstanding cleared up in no time.”

Responding to the accusations, Westwood added, “Mandem earn some serious Ps an ting from dis ******** innit.

“Ah, I’m so terribly terribly sorry old chap – that’s just for the listeners.”

 

I never, ever said that the standard was any good. Every four years the country runs the Lithuanian Olympiad (or something) when the diaspora returns 'home' to take part in a 'sporting extravaganza' against the homeland (tėvynė). I met the GB football team (the organiser was of Litho decent and had put together a 13 man squad some of whom might have been able to point at Lithuania on a map) one night in a bar. The following day's lunch time was their match against the national squad (GB were the only football team attending) so I made a point of going to a cafe to see the game. Most of the GB squad wouldn't have made it into the 3rd team of a pub side and they were hammered 13-0. When the Lithuanian squad went to collect their gold medals their antics and the crowd's reception made you think they'd just beaten Brazil.

FFS for a country where the national passion is basketball they couldn't even produce anything approaching a semi-decent goalkeeper (and yes, Arlauskis I'm looking you).

 

Fulham thrashing the "Scum" SEVEN - NIL

 

They come up on my podcast app occasionally and always smash the skip button immediately. I assumed it took a jokey, ironic turn after the legend intro….