Things you hate IV

Discussion in 'Taylor's Tittle-Tattle - General Banter' started by hornmeister, Jun 25, 2019.

  1. hornmeister

    hornmeister Tired

    People that have random statements on their wall like:

    "Live, Love, Laugh"

    Tenfold if they light up.

    But bonus points if it says "**** right off."
     
  2. Ybotcoombes

    Ybotcoombes Justworkedouthowtochange

    Any form of management speak / acronym / people that like to put quotes in presentation.

    I sometime make up buzzwords and see how quickly they go round the organisation , I also once quoted hitler in a presentation I gave, didn’t go down well but I thought it was a funny
     
    HornetMan, Cthulhu, wfcmoog and 2 others like this.
  3. The undeniable truth

    The undeniable truth First Team Captain

    Hitler’s humour was very underrated. Few really got to see his funny side.
     
    Happy bunny, Filbert and Ybotcoombes like this.
  4. Heidar

    Heidar Squad Player

    He did a really good Charlie Chaplin impression
     
  5. The undeniable truth

    The undeniable truth First Team Captain

    He did some huge open air gigs from what I remember and got excellent response from crowds, before an ill-fated European tour.
     
  6. Ybotcoombes

    Ybotcoombes Justworkedouthowtochange

    Good sense of theatrics and knew how to dress an army
     
    wfcmoog likes this.
  7. Filbert

    Filbert Leicester supporting bloke

    Wasn’t his fault that some people took him literally.
     
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  8. Filbert

    Filbert Leicester supporting bloke

    I hate the amplified noise of water being poured from a kettle into a mug on tea and coffee adverts.

    And the way smug ***** grasp their hot beverages with two hands while looking out of the window in adverts.
     
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  9. wfcmoog

    wfcmoog Tinpot

    It's about time for a rethink on Hitler. Yes he orchestrated the murder of more than 6m innocent people, but what about his art? His sense of style? His talent for admin?

    It's been long enough focusing on the negatives imo
     
    Ybotcoombes likes this.
  10. wfcmoog

    wfcmoog Tinpot

    Yeah, with some sort of ******** message about how some tea makes things better. It doesn't. Unless your biggest issue is a slight thirst, it doesn't solve anything.
     
  11. Filbert

    Filbert Leicester supporting bloke

    Yes whether you’re a tearful teenage girl who’s just been dumped or a lonely thirty something who got a bit wet and disheveled on the commute home from your job in the city, tea adverts want you to know that a nice brew will solve all your troubles.
     
  12. Bwood_Horn

    Bwood_Horn Squad Player

    Depends what the 'tea' is. I drink aguonų pienas and I'm up to 75 pots a day because I get cold, shivery and anxious without them.

    As an aside when Trainspotting/Pulp Fiction/Basketball Diaries/Various smacked-up models made smack 'cool' a very good 'underground' book that didn't quite make it (although I think it has been turned unsuccessfully into a film?) was an autobiography by a mental health worker who got high from poppies (originally bought from craft shops for floral displays and towards the end he was stealing them from peoples' gardens and eating them). He weaves his Finnish family history into a fantasy where they were driven out from their homeland and emigrated to the States because his ancestors were accused of being vampires - a blood disease that caused an addiction...
     
  13. wfcmoog

    wfcmoog Tinpot

    Also the deafening noise that the chocolate makes when someone bites into a Magnum on the adverts. Like, that doesn't make me want it more. A Feast has chocolate on the inside too!
     
  14. Moose

    Moose First Team Captain

    As I have noted before, the cruelest and most hateful thing ever is when you are eating a choc ice and a large bit of the chocolate falls off.

    I curse and shake my fist at our Lord who allows his children to suffer so or at least I would if I wasn’t such a raging atheist.
     
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  15. Filbert

    Filbert Leicester supporting bloke

    Apparently Sir Roger Moore invented the Magnum when he was eating a Choc Ice and either queried why it didn’t have a stick to hold it or pushed a spoon into the bottom as a makeshift handle, I can’t remember.

    I don’t know where I heard that and I won’t look it up to corroborate it because I don’t want it to be untrue.
     
    Moose likes this.
  16. Filbert

    Filbert Leicester supporting bloke

    Those smug ******* Waitrose adverts with the sizzling and the crunching, it turns my stomach.
     
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  17. Filbert

    Filbert Leicester supporting bloke

    The sound of someone else brushing their teeth used to make me feel physically sick.

    I had an ex who couldn’t touch any kind of rough wood like lolly sticks or wooden spoons. I chased her round the house once with a wooden spoon trying to rub it on her neck and stuff when she screamed something about her estranged father beating her with a wooden spoon…. She took it back a few hours later, she just didn’t like the sensation and didn’t know why. Safe to say I felt like the worst person in the world for a couple of hours.
     
  18. a19tgg

    a19tgg First Team

    I have that same thing with lolly sticks, can’t bare the thought of them.
     
  19. Moose

    Moose First Team Captain

    How the long Leicestershire winter nights must fly by.
     
  20. Filbert

    Filbert Leicester supporting bloke

    This was in Nottingham actually so yes it was preferable to leaving the house and being stabbed or offered drugs.
     
    Moose likes this.
  21. Filbert

    Filbert Leicester supporting bloke

    I’d take a ruined choc ice as proof that we live in a cold, unloving, godless universe.
     
  22. Moose

    Moose First Team Captain

    Exactly.
     
  23. WillisWasTheWorst

    WillisWasTheWorst Its making less grammar mistake's thats important

    Mrs Willis hates the idea of touching unglazed pottery. Weirdo.
     
  24. Cthulhu

    Cthulhu Keyboard Warrior Staff Member

    Unless she has taken up pottery I dont see how that would ever be a problem???
    I hate the idea of touching the moon
     
  25. WillisWasTheWorst

    WillisWasTheWorst Its making less grammar mistake's thats important

    There are plenty of terracotta products to frighten her:
    [​IMG]
    let alone these guys:
    [​IMG]
     
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  26. Filbert

    Filbert Leicester supporting bloke

    ‘…… and that’s why I’ll never go to China or the garden centre.’
     
  27. Since63

    Since63 Squad Player

    Had he had any, he might actually have won the war...
     
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  28. Filbert

    Filbert Leicester supporting bloke

    Generic representations of football in adverts.
     
  29. WillisWasTheWorst

    WillisWasTheWorst Its making less grammar mistake's thats important

    These always pop-up more and more in the run-up to and during big tournaments for products that have no connection with sport.
    Whenever one comes on I like to shout "Gratuitous use of football!" at the TV. It makes me feel better.
     
    Cthulhu likes this.
  30. Filbert

    Filbert Leicester supporting bloke

    Yes I’m not sure which is worse. That kind of ‘wheeey’ lads slo mo rising up of the sofa wearing their scarves and consuming their takeaway pizza or cheap lager. Or the daytime insurance and banking type adverts whose relatability is conveyed by an everyman enjoying some footy with his son and dressing like a fan from a Roy of the Rovers comic.

    You also get a futuristic flavour quite often from betting or grooming companies showing a man doing a bicycle kick on some sort of negative space shadow plain.

    *edit Just remembered the extremely patronising new flavour of advert targeting young women who can be empowered by giving Sky or BT their money.
     
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  31. The undeniable truth

    The undeniable truth First Team Captain

    I think they should ban any adverts that include "acting". Misleading.
    "Hello, I'd like to take out life insurance. I believe I have a responsibility to look after my family after I've gone and it would be irresponsible not to think of them. Wow, starting from only £3 a month. That's much cheaper than I was expecting and will ensure they are safe if I'm not here. It's the only morally right thing to do for any parent. And cashback too when I take out the plan ? That's great I can use the cash to pay for food to stop my children from starving to death"
    "Hello, I'd like to take out a funeral plan. I don't think it's fair for my poor mourning family to have to find the money to bury me and have all the hassle arranging my funeral and end up hating me. I want them to all just have a great big party to celebrate my life and be really happy forever and ever. Wow, starting from only £3 a month. That's much cheaper than I was expecting and will ensure they are all have great lives. It's the only morally right thing to do for any parent. And cashback too when I take out the plan ? That's great I can use the cash to pay for food to stop my children from starving to death"
    ....I may be paraphrasing a little.
    You're not buying insurance, you're actors being paid loads of money to con people.
     
  32. Happy bunny

    Happy bunny Cheered up a bit

    I heard that too. From the man at the Esso garage.
     
  33. Happy bunny

    Happy bunny Cheered up a bit

    True. PR was his thing.
     
  34. Happy bunny

    Happy bunny Cheered up a bit

    You don't like cheese, then? What are you doing on this site?
     
    Cthulhu likes this.
  35. K9 Hornet

    K9 Hornet Border Collie Dog

    I never understand things like "Hankook tyres. The official tyre of Real Madrid". What does a football team need an official ******* tyre for?
     

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