1. reg_varney

    reg_varney Reservist

    Squeak, squeak, squeak time. Pooooooouuuuuuuuunnnnddddssss, thump.

    It's junk Danny.

    It's pounds you plum.

    Red girl wearing a crop-top.

    Go on buy that terrible clown's head.
     
    Last edited: Dec 1, 2022
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  2. OldTraff78

    OldTraff78 First Year Pro

    oh no. earplugs in, subtitles on.

    They should have a pre-TX warning, like they do for strobe lights/epileptics.

    "this programme contains potentially damaging squeaking, and offensive dropped consonants"
     
    Last edited: Dec 1, 2022
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  3. OldTraff78

    OldTraff78 First Year Pro

    a day after this news:
    Bats have a wider vocal range than Mariah Carey, at an astonishing seven octaves
    30 November 2022, 12:06 | Updated: 30 November 2022, 12:40

    pfft!
    Our Danny can squeak at registers even bats think are OTT.
     
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  4. reg_varney

    reg_varney Reservist

    Some real tat today.

    Binware tastic Distraction.

    Poundland Repair Shop.

    They can be saved from landfill by giving to The Squeak to sell on.

    Get the whitewash literally and figuratively.
     
    Last edited: Dec 1, 2022
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  5. OldTraff78

    OldTraff78 First Year Pro

    "You wouldn't want that in the house when the lights are off," wibbles a nervous Red, spying a giant clown's head.
    (No, an actual one, not Danny's...)
     
  6. OldTraff78

    OldTraff78 First Year Pro

    Has Danny abandoned the rather chic retro/voodoo feather hat forever?
    At the risk of sounding like that tw*t David Baddiel, his barnet is veering towards the Sideshow Bob.
    If only his voice would follow suit.
     
  7. OldTraff78

    OldTraff78 First Year Pro

    Speaking of barnets...Poor Izzy is getting more like desperate mid-period Toyah every episode.
    How much more tat and chemicals can she get into that hair-don't?
     
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  8. reg_varney

    reg_varney Reservist

    Will you do 30, flash some flesh. Yes.
     
  9. OldTraff78

    OldTraff78 First Year Pro

    Huge West German 60s/70s vases are going to be so big within a few years.
    Fact(-ish).
     
  10. reg_varney

    reg_varney Reservist

    Fiiirrrstttt complete with yodel effect.
     
  11. reg_varney

    reg_varney Reservist

    Ith a mythtery
     
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  12. OldTraff78

    OldTraff78 First Year Pro

    shameless 'BH, we are on telly, help us get gavel' patter from Redbird today too.
     
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  13. reg_varney

    reg_varney Reservist

    What's the betting her optimistic estimates will fail.
     
  14. OldTraff78

    OldTraff78 First Year Pro

    urgh, Foghorn talking about 'ideal boudoir lighting'.
    In your case, the ideal is 'none', luv
     
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  15. reg_varney

    reg_varney Reservist

    40 pooooooooouuuuunnnnnnndddssssss THUMP

    Good old Yorkshire skinflinting on display here.
     
  16. reg_varney

    reg_varney Reservist

    Squeak = Beau Brummel in Purple Pants Probe
     
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  17. OldTraff78

    OldTraff78 First Year Pro

    Nasty cropped hairdo too.
    Sadly, uncropped horsey teeth.
    'Nibbles apple through tennis racquet' job.
     
  18. OldTraff78

    OldTraff78 First Year Pro

    like that stool. unusual. even if tat!:oops:
     
  19. reg_varney

    reg_varney Reservist

    What does Caroline think of John's stool.

    It's a Dutch auction item. It's a piece of real tat.
     
  20. OldTraff78

    OldTraff78 First Year Pro

    haha. suits him, to be fair. in a dark light, he could pass for Jay-Z. or even Hendrix, had he lived to 60 and swapped heroin for Hobnobs.
     
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  21. reg_varney

    reg_varney Reservist

    Squeaki Hendrix Expurgience

    Point that card
     
  22. OldTraff78

    OldTraff78 First Year Pro

    ha, you were right about that stool, Reg.
    Experience pays off!
     
  23. reg_varney

    reg_varney Reservist

    Is it Panto season already? Dizzie Izzie Cinderella is behind you.

    Panto.jpg
     
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  24. OldTraff78

    OldTraff78 First Year Pro

    Izzy today in ice cream format:
    izxy.jpg
     
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  25. reg_varney

    reg_varney Reservist

    Good to see someone has drawn a Kock and Balls on the auction wall.

    CockAndBalls2.jpg
     
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  26. reg_varney

    reg_varney Reservist

    Your lips match my whistle. Squeak, squeak. I'm almost there. Squeak!!!

    AlmostThere.jpeg AlmostThere3.jpg
    vlcsnap-2022-12-01-13h28m19s985.jpeg vlcsnap-2022-12-01-13h27m23s018.jpeg
     
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  27. OldTraff78

    OldTraff78 First Year Pro

    !!!
    oh, just looking at that feels so wrong

    a disturbing 'what if hendrix shagged joplin' vibe too
     
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  28. OldTraff78

    OldTraff78 First Year Pro

    Hahaha great spot!
     
  29. reg_varney

    reg_varney Reservist

    BBC approved preamble:
    Harrogate 6
    Bargain Hunt Series 63
    https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m001fr6f
    Danny Sebastian heads to Harrogate, where experts Izzie Balmer and John Cameron help the teams identify profitable antiques before heading to Beverley Racecourse for today’s auction. Danny learns all about the Recycling Project.

    The Translation:
    Harrogate Antiques Fair is the destination for the Bargain Hunt Banana Splits Adventure Hour (well 45 mins). Proceedings are hosted by Fleabag Squeaky, hitting the high notes to send the dogs wild, joined by Drooper Dizzie and Marine Bingo Boy. Auctioneering is with Snorky Hawley. Snorky – An elephant wearing bloodshot eye-searing tartan who communicates through honking noises. Yup that's her. Altogether now: Far-lar-lar, Lar-lar-lar-lar, Far-lar-lar, Lar-lar-lar-larrrrrrrr.

    The Staff:
    [Gaffer] Dogwhistle Danny Bubble & Squeak squeak squeak Sebastian, glass shatters
    [Red Team Expert] Dizzie Izzie Barmy Balmer, another member of The 93%
    [Blue Team Expert] John Marine Boy Cameron
    [Auctioneer] Caroline Pinkeye Hawley pooouuunnnnddddssss thump, wearing the latest from Jean Apaulling Gawdytears range of Ulcerated Tartan.
    [Auction Location] Hawleys Auctioneers and Valuers, Beverley Racecourse
    (Miserlin Rating: Approved)

    Start.jpeg Auction.jpeg

    The Teams:
    [Red Team] Crop-top wearing student Sister & Brother
    (Challenge: Contains copper)
    [Blue Team] Slurring Sister & Brother
    (Challenge: Contains silver)

    The Shopping:
    Reds: Copper toddy ladles (30 Challenge) topend, Meerschaum pipe (90) OK, West German pottery Lava vase (30) topend.
    Blues: Silver coffee bean spoons (22 Challenge) OK, Dutch plated silver christening mug (5) Bargain, surely even Hawley can't mess this up, 4 Wall sconces (80) OK.

    The Distraction:
    We're in Squeak Heaven. The bins at the local municipal centre? No. The large builder's skip by the new housing estate? No. The largest landfill site in the UK? No. It's the Tatastic Upcycling Bin-avoiding Recycling Project. This is what Etsy was invented for. Dan Dan Andrology milk bottle filling man has moved beyond excitement and produces his own unique junk with a pint of Dirty Water. This is the fertile soil for the Rag & Bone pioneers of the 21st Century. It's the Yorkshire Cheapskates Repair Shop.

    Distraction.jpeg

    The Auction:
    Reds: Copper toddy ladles (profit), Meerschaum pipe (biggish loss), West German pottery Lava vase (evens stevens).
    Dizzie's BB is the metal mounted glass epergne from earlier (35), 10-20, 25. It's a Dizzie dud.

    Pipe.jpeg Epergne.jpeg

    Blues: Silver coffee bean spoons (small profit), Dutch plated silver christening mug (good profit), 4 Wall sconces (small profit) GG sinker?, fark a Golden Gavel with Hawley Auctions. I can see a pig flying.
    MBs BB is a wooden stool/chair (40), 40-60, 25. It's a sinker. It looked crap and got what it deserved.

    Blues2.jpg

    The Aftermath:
    Flesh bearing crop-topped Red student haggled and flashed the flesh to get some discounts. Shame the items were a bit ropey. Dizzie compounded the tat with an overpriced item that was viewed earlier. Come on Dizzy Lizzie buck your ideas up. Blues aided by Marine Boy achieve a Golden Gavel despite the obstacles of being in Yorkshire at a Foghorn Auction. Amazing. Sadly MBs BB was a genuine skipware chair/stool eyesore which sank down to Davy Jones locker.

    RedLoss.jpeg BlueWin.jpeg

    The Hi-Kick:
    Standard outdoor kick with the Squeaki Hendrix Expurgience. Everyone hits par with some giving headshots. Blue bloke a tad early. Yes, YES!!

    HiKick.jpeg
    HiKick2.jpeg
     
    Last edited: Dec 1, 2022
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  30. reg_varney

    reg_varney Reservist

    Guildford followed by a Pompey Auction. Not the most exciting of venues. No doubt it will be a Dutch Style Auction. Southsea to be renamed Windmills-on-Sea.

    Naughty Nautical Theme.
     
    Last edited: Dec 2, 2022
  31. reg_varney

    reg_varney Reservist

    Camp hairdresser stereotype alert.

    Reds want an expert who's an expert.

    Spitoon, spit, ding.

    Almost wrecked a gramophone record.
     
  32. reg_varney

    reg_varney Reservist

    Sh1tty concrete garden binware.

    Giant cocktail umbrella,
     
  33. OldTraff78

    OldTraff78 First Year Pro

    Dr Evil describing his personal loo ware.
    Wasn't expecting that.
     
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  34. OldTraff78

    OldTraff78 First Year Pro

    i would buy that box and trace the descendants. profit assured.

    Pritchard wouldve bought that cabinet. at half the price, obvs
     
  35. reg_varney

    reg_varney Reservist

    That awful trough. Huge loss incoming.
     

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