1. reg_varney

    reg_varney Squad Player

    Everything overpriced today.
     
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  2. reg_varney

    reg_varney Squad Player

    French interest postcards!!!!
     
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  3. OldTraff78

    OldTraff78 Reservist

    those postcards would go for 70/80 over here
     
  4. OldTraff78

    OldTraff78 Reservist

    arf!
    surely a Soho shop window sign....
     
    reg_varney likes this.
  5. wfcmoog

    wfcmoog Tinpot

    The ring is hideous
     
    reg_varney likes this.
  6. OldTraff78

    OldTraff78 Reservist

    Lisa Nandy-ish Bluebird is quite fruity.
    And clearly likes to have her apples peeled.
     
    reg_varney likes this.
  7. wfcmoog

    wfcmoog Tinpot

    They guessed 50 quid for that 3grams of silver stirrer? ******* idiots.
     
  8. OldTraff78

    OldTraff78 Reservist

    init
    And the stone is too light n bright
     
  9. reg_varney

    reg_varney Squad Player

    80 notes for a swizzle stick. Bloody hell.
     
    wfcmoog likes this.
  10. wfcmoog

    wfcmoog Tinpot

    Absolute shatter of a day of overspending.
     
  11. OldTraff78

    OldTraff78 Reservist

    amazing. i liked it, tbh, but 80?!

    As moog says, 'absolute shatter of a day of overspending'
     
  12. reg_varney

    reg_varney Squad Player

    You could imagine it on Hawley's hand though. Go well with that Tawdry Tartan.
     
  13. OldTraff78

    OldTraff78 Reservist

    Essential reference work for gentleman scholars:
    30291744774.jpg
     
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  14. reg_varney

    reg_varney Squad Player

    BBC approved preamble:
    Ardingly 28
    Bargain Hunt Series 63
    https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m001fqcm
    Charlie Ross and the teams try to uncover profitable antiques in Sussex with experts Caroline Hawley and Tim Weeks. While the reds and blues compete to make the most money at auction, Charlie learns how science can help to prove the authenticity of ancient artefacts, using a process called thermoluminescence.

    The Translation:
    It's Scorchio at Ardingly Antiques Fair. The posh fool has got himself ready with all the necessary sense blocking accessories. He's joined by Treepole Weeks, visibly growing in the sun, by the end of the summer he expects to have his head in the clouds. Unfortunately, Foghorn Hawley arrives so Charl-eh quickly puts on his sunglasses and gets his ear protectors ready as he wants to protect what's left of his failing hearing. Hot off the slave looms in time for the Bognor Fashion Show is Hawley's new and exciting Mal de Merde design from her exclusive Excruciate collection. Auction is down the road with Plaidy Hall.

    The Staff:
    [Gaffer] Omnifool Charlie Ross, the twit's twit, his brain is a vacant cartouche
    [Red Team Expert] Timpole Tudor Wunderbar Weeks
    [Blue Team Expert] Caroline Domestos Hawley, kills all known profits, Thwack, DEAD, premiering an item from her Rimming London Mustard Gas Lachrymatory range of AyeByrne Tartan.
    [Auctioneer] Nick Plaid All Over Hall
    [Auction Location] Bentley's Auction Rooms, Cranbrook, Kent
    (Miserlin Rating: Unlisted)

    Start.jpeg Auction.jpeg

    The Teams:
    [Red Team] Father and Maths Teacher Daughter, looks like a very big age gap, unplanned?
    (Challenge: Gardenalia)
    [Blue Team] Mixed sex Univerity Tutors, he's as ginge as they come, think Clive Sinclair with hair.. They are musical Magpies whatever that means.
    (Challenge: Kitchenalia)

    The Shopping:
    Reds: Damaged, hand painted bird panel screen (60) topend, Double-sided French tram seat (128 Challenge) oops, Leather document box (65) topend.
    Blues: Mechanical apple peeler (65 Challenge) topend, Pair of spinning spools (10) OK, 9ct Gold Amethyst Ring (140) topend.

    The Distraction:
    Scientific dating equipment on show. Plenty of analysis of Tinder profiles. Charl-eh is going to date some full-size Chinese figurines. He asks them out for dinner. They don't refuse. During dinner he regales them with stories of his salad days of being a rakish young chap. He suggests a quickie out the back round by the bins. They don't refuse. Outside, he drops his trousers, but just as he's about to "mount the rostrum", the security lights come on and security guards wrestle him to the ground. The figurine points an accusing finger. DNA evidence is found, the scientific analysis is damning. Charl-eh gets 15 years on the same wing as Mark Ashley, the goggle-eyed transgressor.

    Distraction.jpeg

    The Auction:
    Reds: Damaged, hand painted bird panel screen (largish loss), Double-sided French tram seat (big loss), Leather document box (small profit).
    Timpole's BB is a Postcard album with french interest postcards (10), 20-30, 40. Good stuff Treepole.

    TramSeat.jpeg PostCardAlbum.jpeg

    Blues: Mechanical apple peeler (loss), Pair of spinning spools (evens stevens), 9ct Gold Amethyst Ring (big loss).
    Domestos' BB is a 1973 silver cocktail swizzle stick (30), 20-30, 80. Shocked. Hawley scores. Husband, former Gooner John lights an extra long cheroot.

    GoldRing.jpeg SwizzleStick.jpeg

    The Aftermath:
    Both teams seriously overspend on some right old tat. The converted tram seat was a dud all day long and the large knuckle duster amethyst ring had all the elegance of a tap-dancing elephant. However, both teams were spared the ignominy of 3 figure losses with their respective experts, yes, including Hawley, pulling rabbits out of a hat. Still, 80 s0ds for a swizzle stick. Has the world gone mad!!!

    RedLoss.jpeg BlueLoss.jpeg

    The Hi-Kick:
    Outside conventional Kick. Hawley, buoyed by her Swizzle Stick Success outkicks Charl-eh with a head high Growler elevation. Everyone else reaches a healthy 90 deg except poor old Red Dad who gives us a late 45 deg. Still a good effort from him. Yes, YES!!

    HiKIck.jpeg
     
  15. reg_varney

    reg_varney Squad Player

    Ken Russell's comedy with a gorgeous Marisa Mell and Tony Blair's father-in-law.

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]
     
    Last edited: Nov 29, 2022
  16. reg_varney

    reg_varney Squad Player

    Plaidy demonstrating how to mount a horse. Some camp statues look on with approval.

    [​IMG]
     
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  17. OldTraff78

    OldTraff78 Reservist

    Marisa Mell!
    Nice memory-prompt, Reg.
    She turned up in this the same year as Diabolik, which boasts quite the line-up of top 60s Euroclunge:
    44661_2_large.jpg
     
    reg_varney likes this.
  18. reg_varney

    reg_varney Squad Player

    Here's another poster:
    [​IMG]

    And I counter with this Eurocrime gem:

    [​IMG]

    and this is one I've never heard of before from 1961:

    [​IMG]
     
    OldTraff78 likes this.
  19. OldTraff78

    OldTraff78 Reservist

    Oooh. New to me too.
    Not something we can hope to see on TPix anytime soon, I suspect...;)
     
    reg_varney likes this.
  20. reg_varney

    reg_varney Squad Player

    Better get the fans on full blast, it's almost Christina time.
     
  21. reg_varney

    reg_varney Squad Player

    Oh dear. Self-proclaimed "glamorous grannies". Shudder

    Tubby has found some horny Scandi silver.

    Boooo. Chuko doesn't know his Wedgwood.

    Stroppy Tubby.

    Jesus, a chimney pot. Some humdingers today.
     
    Last edited: Nov 30, 2022
    OldTraff78 likes this.
  22. reg_varney

    reg_varney Squad Player

    Tubby is going to give them something they'll like.

    Scandinavian chest snigger. She pulls Crumpled's plonker. Plenty of dirty laughing.

    To Tubby: "Look at his little face".
     
    Last edited: Nov 30, 2022
  23. OldTraff78

    OldTraff78 Reservist

    love that skandi chest
     
  24. OldTraff78

    OldTraff78 Reservist

    oooooh, skandi bargain well hunted: that's the Name Of The Game, after all
     
  25. OldTraff78

    OldTraff78 Reservist

    ah, bless Christina; uses the word 'tummy'.
     
  26. reg_varney

    reg_varney Squad Player

    Very unexciting items today.
     
  27. reg_varney

    reg_varney Squad Player

    WTF. 19th century Ox-cart wheel. Skipware. Cheap though.
     
  28. reg_varney

    reg_varney Squad Player

    The BBs actually determine today's winners. a modicum of excitement.
     
  29. OldTraff78

    OldTraff78 Reservist

    nailbiting finish!
    iran v usa in BH form
     
  30. OldTraff78

    OldTraff78 Reservist

    although, tbf, the losing Reds won't be decapitated when they get home.
     
  31. reg_varney

    reg_varney Squad Player

    Smuggy Thomas

    SmuggyThomas.jpeg
     
  32. reg_varney

    reg_varney Squad Player

    The ecstasy of presenting BH.

    Christina1a.jpeg Christina2a.jpeg
    Christina3a.jpeg Christina4a.jpeg
    Christina5a.jpeg Christina6a.jpeg
    Christina7a.jpeg Christina8a.jpeg
     
    OldTraff78 likes this.
  33. reg_varney

    reg_varney Squad Player

    And the winner is .....

    Yes.jpg
     
  34. reg_varney

    reg_varney Squad Player

    BBC approved preamble:
    Newark 12
    Bargain Hunt Series 63
    https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m001fr0d
    Christina Trevanion and the teams hunt for profitable antiques in Nottinghamshire with experts Thomas Forrester and Ochuko Ojiri before heading to Derby for today’s auction. Christina discovers how traditional letterpress printing is making a comeback.

    The Translation:
    The temperature is rising on- and off-screen as Christina Tasty Temptress Trevanion sends the Mercury exploding out of the thermometer showering us with metallic joy at the Newark Showground in Notts. Joining her as an amalgam of expertise is Tubby Thomas, the large object of Lead, heavy and toxic to profits, his team will be on the Lithium afterwards and Commando Chuko, will his profits turn to Gold or will they be a dull Zinc base metal. Auction today will be with Crumpled James Lewis, who managed to drag himself through a hedge backwards during his previous night on the pop, one look at him is like taking a full dose of Bromide in tempering your Christina inspired ardour.

    The Staff:
    [Gaffer] Steamstress Christina Trevanion
    [Red Team Expert] Tubby Thomas Forrester, the plump schoolboy, bursting out like a ripe boil
    [Blue Team Expert] Ochuko Commando Chuko Ojiri, commando on top, let's hope he's not commando below
    [Auctioneer] Crumpled James Lewis
    [Auction Location] Bamfords, Derbyshire
    (Miserlin Rating: Unlisted)

    Start.jpeg Auction.jpeg

    The Teams:
    [Red Team] Female Friends, PA and Team Leader
    (Challenge: Functional silver)
    [Blue Team] Retired Female Friends "glamouraos grannies", their words not mine
    (Challenge: Find at a tea party)

    The Shopping:
    Reds: Norwegian silver topped glass pepperettes (28 Challenge) topend, Homemade wedding cabinet (25) good, Antique French cartonier (160) struggle.
    Blues: Birmingham silver sugar tongs (20 Challenge) OK, 2 Crown top chimney pot planters (149) ouch third-degree burns, Pair of silver topped thistle vases (74) topend.

    The Distraction:
    Christina discovers about how traditional letterpress printing is making a comeback. In the printing room after much grunting and taking a heavy load on the equipment, a huge satisfying mess is created. A dirty laugh is heard emanating. Later, after tidying up, the printing press is got out and some standard letterpress printing is demonstrated.

    Distraction.jpeg

    The Auction:
    Reds: Norwegian silver topped glass pepperettes (profit), Homemade wedding cabinet (good profit), Antique French cartonier (small loss) no GG.
    Tubby's BB is a 9ct white gold sapphire and diamond crossover ring (50), 40-60, 40, Tubby Dud-Bye.

    WeddingCabinet.jpeg Ring.jpeg

    Blues: Birmingham silver sugar tongs (evens stevens), 2 Crown top chimney pot planters (small loss), Pair of silver topped thistle vases (small profit).
    Chuko's BB is a 19th century Ox-cart wheel (20), 30-50, 50. Well Chuko. It looked terrible but you got a profit.

    Vases.jpeg OxCartWheel.jpeg

    The Aftermath:
    The Auction was not too bad. Just the quality of objects from both teams did not set the pulses racing one way or the other. No big profits and no nig losses. Christina baits Crumpled Lewis with one of his estimates. She pulls his plonker and gives a dirty laugh too. A small overall profit for the Reds despite Tubby's BB loss. A slightly bigger overall profit for Blues because of Chuko's BB. Tubby was getting unbearably smug but his failed BB put an end to that.

    RedWin.jpeg BlueWin.jpeg

    The Hi-Kick:
    Outdoor standard Kick in someone's back garden. Everyone hits par and all synchronised. Excellent work. Yes, YES!!

    HiKick.jpeg
     
    OldTraff78 likes this.
  35. OldTraff78

    OldTraff78 Reservist

    Screengrab sequence masterpiece!
    Why isn't there a BAFTA for such types of work?
     
    reg_varney likes this.

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