1. reg_varney

    reg_varney Squad Player

    Wizzy Dizzie Izzie whould be a better replacement for Tragicooper.
     
  2. OldTraff78

    OldTraff78 Reservist

    snigger!

    disturbing, though :confused:
     
  3. reg_varney

    reg_varney Squad Player

    I'm surprised he can walk down the road without tripping himself up.
     
  4. OldTraff78

    OldTraff78 Reservist

    Under the antisocial behaviour measures announced by HMG today, presumably Carlos will have to reimburse his wretched teams for the criminal losses he has caused...
     
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  5. reg_varney

    reg_varney Squad Player

    Hanson's Hand Hunt.

    Hanson1.jpeg Hanson2.jpeg
     
  6. reg_varney

    reg_varney Squad Player

    BBC approved preamble:
    Oswestry 10
    Bargain Hunt Series 64
    https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m001kjzs
    Charlie Ross and the teams shop for treasures at Oswestry antiques fair in Shropshire, with experts Charles Hanson and Ben Cooper on hand to advise. Charlie challenges fairgoers to guess the purpose of an intriguing food-related mystery item.

    The Translation:
    It's Charl-eh and he's in Owlvestry, or is it Towelstory, he gets so confused these days. Why is there always a nutter about when you least want one, he muses. Ah it's Oswestry, he shouts and exposes himself to an American Tourist couple and their dog who've got to the fair early. It's a little Shih Tzu he shouts at them. Yes, very little and extremely bald, they shout back. Hanson and Tragicooper turn up with his medication, unfortunately the useless Cooper has given half of it to the Dreamblazer who's now howling at the moon, so the tranquilizers do work. Never mind, Charl-eh chugs back the rest of the tabs and dreams of getting his special gavel out and showing it off in the Auction Rooms. Today, it's with Matthew Tong in Wrexham who on last showing was pretty good. So, it's a spaced-out host, a manic expert, a disaster zone expert, and a decent Auctioneer. Should be interesting.

    The Staff:
    [Gaffer] Omnifool Charlie The Tool Ross
    [Red Team Expert] Charles Madness, madness they call it madness Manson Hanson, the Galloping Gavellier
    [Blue Team Expert] Ben Carloss Wispa Tragicooper, bad buys woo-woo
    [Auctioneer] Matthew It hasn't gone all Pete Tong
    [Auction Location] Tong's Auction House, Wrexham
    (Miserlin Rating: Unlisted)

    Start.jpeg Auction.jpeg

    The Teams:
    [Red Team] Clare and Lisa Nurse Twins who cream themselves over Hanson.
    (Challenge: A timepiece)
    [Blue Team] The Assistant Sisters who look skywards when they realise they have Cooper.
    (Challenge: Can be worn on the wrist or hand)

    The Shopping:
    Reds: 1950s Sooty, Sweep and Sue glove puppets (30) topend, 1920s walnut mantel clock (28 Challenge) OK, Russian silver and enamel egg (75) topend.
    Blues: Parrot nursery glass and chrome nightlight (75) ouch, Art Deco dog on marble inkstand (48) ouch, Silver filigree bracelet (28 Challenge) topend.

    The Distraction:
    It's now midday and the medication has started to kick in and Charl-eh has lost all his inhibitions and decides to do the intriguing food-related mystery item minus all clothing below the belt. What's this he asks bemused fairgoers. A Saveloy that's been chewed by a dog comes back a reply. That's a good idea says the fool and heads off searching for the American Tourist couple with a tasty treat. Hold on Charl-eh shouldn't you be doing your segment on the Bread Rasp?

    Distraction.jpeg

    The Auction:
    Reds: 1950s Sooty, Sweep and Sue glove puppets (good profit), 1920s walnut mantel clock (small loss), Russian silver and enamel egg (small loss).
    Hanson's BB is a set of 3 silver boxes (167), REJECTED 120-150, 140, oh dear another loss for Hanson. Good job they rejected as it would have wiped out almost all their profit.

    SootyGlovePuppets.jpeg SilverBoxes.jpeg

    Blues: Parrot nursery glass and chrome nightlight (largish loss), Art Deco dog on marble inkstand (nice profit), Silver filigree bracelet (loss).
    Carloss BB is a 1950s Danish silver and enamel cruet set (55), 40-60, 50. Another Cooper loss. Dudley Cooper.

    NightLight.jpeg SilverCruet.jpeg

    The Aftermath:
    Once again we have Matt Tong, who is an enthusiastic dynamic Auctioneer and tries to wring out the profits. He even managed to get a profit for Cooper, no mean feat. Hanson and his 2 twin nurses were the Red Team and made the money on Sooty and pals glove puppets and rightly rejected Hanson's spunk all the money on 3 silver boxes, which fail and would've wiped out almost all their folding money leaving them with a handful of coppers. As usual, Cooper sleepwalked through his experting hour with the 2 Blue Team sisters. His direction toward a real piece of nightlight tat had all the hallmarks, unlike the illumination, of something you would find in a Kinder surprise egg, or you would have exchanged for 20 Player's No.6 fag vouchers. Classic Cooper, 3 losses out of 4 and an overall loss.

    RedWin.jpeg BlueWin.jpeg

    The Hi-Kick:
    Standard indoor kick in cramped conditions. Good effort all round with Hanson Gripping one of the twins tightly. Let's see if this is reciprocated for him later. Yes, YES!!

    HiKick1.jpeg
     
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  7. reg_varney

    reg_varney Squad Player

    HandsOfTheRipper3.jpg
     
  8. OldTraff78

    OldTraff78 Reservist

    frighteningly plausible!
     
  9. OldTraff78

    OldTraff78 Reservist

    those redbirds, imagined 25 years younger....you could easily envisage them as killer fodder in the first 20 minutes of an old Amicus feature.
    'we wanted the collinson twins, or at least the mitchell girls... but we don't have Hammer's budget..."
     
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  10. reg_varney

    reg_varney Squad Player

    Or a Tigon pic or if money was very tight, a Nigel Windgrove financed,straight to the bin feature:

    [​IMG]
     
  11. reg_varney

    reg_varney Squad Player

    Or perhaps they could all be together in a remake of The Brood.

    Brood4.jpg
     
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  12. reg_varney

    reg_varney Squad Player

    Or maybe it will star Tragicooper

    Brood9.jpg
     
  13. reg_varney

    reg_varney Squad Player

    Getting ready for today's episode.

    pay_or_play2.jpg
     
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  14. reg_varney

    reg_varney Squad Player

    Best not eat your lunch while Peggy McMount is on as she'll be swiping it off your plate through the TV.

    Roo looking extremely delightful.

    Tight Blues.

    Strict Highland Dress challenge. Natasha is ready to DQ.

    Dreadful McMisers.

    I have a feeling Natasha will DQ the bar brooch.
     
    Last edited: Mar 28, 2023
    Guy likes this.
  15. reg_varney

    reg_varney Squad Player

    80s born Natasha has an English hubby. Jings.

    Natasha not impressed with their dance timewasting. Careful it'll be another red card.

    Sh1tty lamps.
     
    Last edited: Mar 28, 2023
  16. reg_varney

    reg_varney Squad Player

    Brooch DQ.

    [​IMG]
     
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  17. reg_varney

    reg_varney Squad Player

    Dreadful, dreadful auction, as expected. McDisaster.

    Peggy Mount sees Bucky in the vase as crams her face full of chips.

    Those lamps got the 29 loss they deserved.

    100 notes for that metal sign, in Jockland. LOL.

    She can't eat it. So not good.
     
    Last edited: Mar 28, 2023
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  18. reg_varney

    reg_varney Squad Player

    "Well done for making a profit Reds. It's not easy" quips Strict Natasha without a trace of irony.

    Well it's nigh on impossible in that place.
     
  19. OldTraff78

    OldTraff78 Reservist

    great to see 'Peggy'!
    TPix have just started showing her in the old late '50s Larkins...by far the best acting in it

    MV5BMjdlYjg0OGQtMjJiYy00Y2YzLTgwYmEtZTcwOThjNWU5ZDU4XkEyXkFqcGdeQXVyNjE3NjA1MzQ@._V1_.jpg
     
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  20. OldTraff78

    OldTraff78 Reservist

    Tash is doing that weird tuck thing with her hair again.
    Not the best look with those ears.
    Reminds me of another brunette beauty similarly self-damaging...
    66N5USPL6BLP4V2XMIUZYFZKKA.jpg
     
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  21. reg_varney

    reg_varney Squad Player

    Scottish BH is always a bloodbath.
     
  22. reg_varney

    reg_varney Squad Player

    [​IMG]
     
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  23. reg_varney

    reg_varney Squad Player

    Peggy Mount disapproves of the metal plaque.

    [​IMG]
     
  24. reg_varney

    reg_varney Squad Player

    One of the Blues almost brings the line down with her late monster hi-kick. Roo gives us a lovely Growler effort too.

    HiK.jpg
     
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  25. reg_varney

    reg_varney Squad Player

  26. reg_varney

    reg_varney Squad Player

    BBC approved preamble:
    Edinburgh 15
    Bargain Hunt Series 53
    https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m00071qq
    Join Natasha Raskin Sharp and experts David Harper and Roo Irvine as the reds and blues try to find the best bargains for sale at Edinburgh’s Royal Highland Centre. A tasty addition to this episode comes in the form of an ice cream van that’s been doing the rounds since 1936. Natasha talks to members of the Scot-Italian community to find out how it all came about and, in the interests of research, tries a cone for herself.

    The Translation:
    To celebrate or should we really say laugh our arses off to the SNP electing a new leader, we're in Edinburgh, at the Royal Highland McTat Centre, for a full-on McMiser extravaganza with Strict Natasha, the Lovely Roo, and DayMcGlo Dave, who confessed under duress in an earlier episode, as a dealer tried to prise a tenner from his hand, that he is part Scottish, and these penny's on a string don't come cheap. Auction will be at Peggy Mount's Penny Pinching Parlour, where she is the only one trusted to do the valuing and her underling Gross Perverts will do the Gavelling, as he is only an intern on job experience, who has to pay her for the privilege, hopefully not in kind, shudder.

    Q. Why are so many Scottish churches circular?
    A. So nobody can hide in the corners during the collection.

    In some Scottish restaurants they heat the knives so you can't use too much butter.
    Arf, Arf, Arf

    The Staff:
    [Gaffer] Strict Natasha Raskin Sharp, Glasgow Southside enforcer
    [Red Team Expert] Delightful Roo Irvine, full of Eastern Promise
    [Blue Team Expert] DayGlo David Harper, the Teeside Trouserer of Tat
    [Auctioneer] Purvy Purves
    [Auction Location] Thomson Roddick Auctioneers & Valuers, Rosewell
    (Miserlin Rating: One Star)

    Start.jpeg Auction.jpeg

    The Teams:
    [Red Team] Best friends, university course she was the oldest and he was the youngest.
    (Challenge: Highland dress)
    [Blue Team] Best Wellness coach work friends.
    (Challenge: Mid-century modern)

    The Shopping:
    Reds: Silver and amber bar brooch (20 Challenge) DQ 15-25, 1907 London boxed silver teaspoon and tongs set (75) topend, Pair of Mother of pearl whole shell dishes (40) maybe a wee struggle.
    Blues: Pair of damaged Chinese bamboo brush pots (30) OK, Pair of 1960s lamps (79 Challenge) ouch, Peugeot coffee grinder (65) topend.

    The Distraction:
    Strict Natasha finds out about the Scottish MacMafia Ice Cream vans. Inbetween bumping off the competition they're pumping as much air into the ices as is feasibly possible. The ice lollies are nicely diluted with the requisite cheap dye to keep the costs right down.

    Distraction.jpg

    The Auction:
    Reds: Silver and amber bar brooch (DQ evens stevens), 1907 London boxed silver teaspoon and tongs set (small loss), Pair of Mother of pearl whole shell dishes (nice profit).
    Roo's BB is a Late Victorian Iridescent Glass Vase (35), 20-40, 35, evens stevens in the Miser's Lair.

    BarBroochDQ.jpeg GlassVase.jpeg

    Blues: Pair of damaged Chinese bamboo brush pots (nice profit), Pair of 1960s lamps (largish loss), Peugeot coffee grinder (small loss).
    DayGlo's BB is a metal manufacturers plaque (65), 20-30, 40, a 25 McNote loss for Harper.

    Lamps.jpeg MetalSign.jpeg

    The Aftermath:
    Awful Auction as predicted. Roo's Reds, despite Strict Natasha doing her best Rob Styles impersonation to DQ the brooch, still squeak an overall profit. No mean feat North of the Border. Their overall King's Ransom 5 pound profit should be framed and displayed in the National Museum of Scotland. "Well done for making money, Reds. It's not easy", quips Strict Natasha without a hint of irony. DayGlo's Blues follow the well trodden path of up to 1 profit and the rest losses. Some real tat bought today by Dave with those bin-ready lamps from an OAP flat clearance and lump of metal plaque notable items ripe for flytipping.

    RedWin.jpeg BlueLoss.jpeg

    The Hi-Kick:
    Standard indoor kick. Large kick from Strict Natasha and a late monster head kick from one of the Blues that almost brings down the whole line. Lovely Growler kick from the delightful Roo too. Yes, YES!!

    HiKIck.jpg
     
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  27. OldTraff78

    OldTraff78 Reservist

    Blimey. Roo is starting to pack some meat onto those thighs.

    Nice van pic of Tash offering up her two tasty mounds to lick.
     
  28. reg_varney

    reg_varney Squad Player

    Builth Wells. Foghorn Hawley as the "expert".
    Wooden writing box "Victorian laptop" 36 (estimate 50-80 by well-heeled Becky Gilbert), UNSOLD.
    Don't think we saw Becky Gilbert again, the poor lamb.
    Unfortunately, we see and hear too much of Eyeburn Foghorn.

    [​IMG]
     
  29. reg_varney

    reg_varney Squad Player

    Uncle Eric, Dully, Sarky in Kent.

    Grabby gets the Gay couple.

    They wouldn't dare put Sarky with them. That would be asking for real trouble.

    Reasonable price for that jug.

    Classic rusty bin ware with that knackered weather vane.

    Nasty intrusion device.

    Show me the bottom, says Sarky, ....... of the vase, he clarifies.

    Benches for shenanigans.

    French bench cherrywood. Snigger.

    Sarky like the Blues.

    Grabby is frustrated, what's new, by the Reds.

    Weather vane, loss incoming.

    Pogo stick, good job Dully and the Reds didn't spot it.
     
    Last edited: Mar 29, 2023
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  30. reg_varney

    reg_varney Squad Player

    Hall stand (bought without Dully). She's not impressed.

    30 notes for a nest of tables. Bargain. Excellent work Sarky. You're on form today.

    Dully was hopeless today. As dreadful as the items.
     
  31. reg_varney

    reg_varney Squad Player

    Uncle Eric's birthday's have all come at once. He's not in a Berlin brothel but a studio pottery workshop. He loves it.

    Dully disaster.

    Is that a metal Venus fly trap.
     
    Last edited: Mar 29, 2023
  32. OldTraff78

    OldTraff78 Reservist

    Southon suits that pink/fuschia. moog will be happy.

    Box is awful. So is quasi-abstract jug. Like summat from the mis-shapes tray. But someone will like it.
     
  33. OldTraff78

    OldTraff78 Reservist

    indeed. what a scoop. nests are great.
     
  34. OldTraff78

    OldTraff78 Reservist

    only 20 quid for that
    lovely box!
    Made in 1975, like my first wife. who also had a lovely box.

    Well done sarky
     
    reg_varney likes this.
  35. reg_varney

    reg_varney Squad Player

    The pottery items should have done better, but as it's an internet only Covid auction, postage and transport costs must deter some and have a negative impact.
     

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