What Made Me Larf Today

And my personal favourite:

 

I've just noticed that Fall-Lawyers 4-U, is working out of the same office as Mouse of Majesty funerals, as they both have the same telephone number, on checking at Companies House I see that apart from a common Tel No and address, they also have a common director in the name of L Bassini from Stanmore! Mrs B from Essex had a gerbil who died at the grand old age of and and a half and arranged for the band of the Coldstream Guards to play at its funeral, This is the same Mrs B from Essex who played drums for the fall 36 years ago.

I put it to you my Honour if Mrs B from Essex was such an accomplished drummer should she not have played the drums at her Gerbils Funeral instead of enlisting the Coldstream Guards in what is an extreme waste of public resources!

 

Mouse of Majesty, would be a great name for a Fall single, Mouse of Majesty funerals-ah.

 

Very topical

 

Being called a twerp. Never have I been criticised so politely.

 

I trust you still knocked them out but said sorry afterwards?

 

It was an old lady on a mobility scooter so yes I completely wiped her out

 

Excellent I may be in the market for the scooter if you nicked that also.

 

Sorry mate I torched it. I like to do a proper job. But I do have travellers cheques, rings, bracelet, necklace and a few gold teeth on a EBay auction.

 

This one's very dark:

 

Did those really make you laugh, Reg?

 

6 fingers? Norwich fan?

 

Not necessarily laugh out loud, but I did appreciated their at times surreal and other times times jet black humour.

The fact that somebody married up a nostalgic Soylent Green poster with a Camberwick Green theme. I've been re-visiting some old Hitchcock films recently, HMV had a 20 Blu-Ray box set on sale for 30 quid, so I found the Psycho mash-up amusingly ironic.

 

That's a bit **** because 'District 9' is a fantastic film.

 

It is a brilliant film and I think it's more of a dig at the ignorance of the great American moviegoing public, particularly the amended text at the top of the poster.

 

Not only Peter Cook but a pre-Victor Meldrew Richard Wilson too.

 

Liverpool 9 Bournemouth 0

 

Bournemouth shooting the messenger.

 

Not today, but yesterday.
I was in my local budget supermarket when a rather portly middle aged lady brushed past me with downtrodden (I presume) husband in tow.

She proceeded to declare in an overly loud, overly posh voice:
"With respect to cereal you have complete autonomy as I don't partake"
The bloke looked mortified. But proceeded to pick a box from the shelf to which her reply was:
"You don't like those"
They waddled on to the crsip section to which she procalimed:
"Pringles are the most boring, bland crips I've ever eaten"
Given the shape of her I expect she had quite a lot of crsip eating experience.

Whilst I initially thought this was hilarious a few things have since come to mind.

We're really in the economic **** if people like her need to shop in the pile em high sell em cheap supermarkets.
I'm considering setting up a just giving page for the poor chap to try and fund a divorce/hit depending on how much is raised.

 

To be fair Truss has a whiff of crazy cat lady about her

 

Liverpool

 

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