Colonel Sir Tom - Your Circuit's Dead, There's Something Wrong...

Discussion in 'Taylor's Tittle-Tattle - General Banter' started by Clive_ofthe_Kremlin, May 21, 2020.

  1. Arakel

    Arakel First Team

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    In my experience it's sadly incurable.
     
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  2. wfcmoog

    wfcmoog Tinpot

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    Today's weather is brought to you by Anusol. For cooling relief of condescending ********.
     
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  3. Clive_ofthe_Kremlin

    Clive_ofthe_Kremlin Squad Player

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    Film shot in harsh Bright light of middle aged woman pushing trolley in supermarket, when she stops suddenly with a pained expression on her face and starts scratching her backside.

    Zoom in on pained face and freeze video.

    Voiceover

    "A condescending arsẹhóle can strike when you least expect it....

    (Cut to soft warm focus video of same woman, but now smiling contentedly curled up on sofa watching TV while cradling a steaming hot drink)

    Try Kremlin's Kooling Kure-all Kream!

    Bringing relief, politeness, humility and a minty freshness to your ärsehole.

    Look for the red tub with the hammer and sickle!


    See I can do PR Felicity! Take me on board the charity. I'll do it for £10k a month and the occasional trip to the Caribbean (island destination to be advised later). I'll bring me swimming trunks!
     
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  4. Bwood_Horn

    Bwood_Horn Squad Player

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    Moore (ho! ho!) exciting news:

    Capt Tom Moore’s daughter's company was paid for charity event

    It's this that makes me think 'advisors' from her Maytrix company (the one that does recognition management) "...had a word with her...":

     
  5. BeersThen

    BeersThen Reservist

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    Captain Tom must be walking round his grave (and she could spin that into a new fundraiser...)
     
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  6. a19tgg

    a19tgg First Team

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    So whilst being paid £85k as interim CEO of the Captain Tom Moore charity, the charity simultaneously made payments for thousands of pounds to her own company for her “appearances” which basically involved her turning up at places that had received donations from them, and revealing the plaque with the charities name on.

    Nothing dodgy at all there.
     
  7. Otter

    Otter Gambling industry insider

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    That's her Gerald Ratner moment!
     
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  8. Arakel

    Arakel First Team

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    Was she replying to herself?
     
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  9. BeersThen

    BeersThen Reservist

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    Does she fancy a go at being a football agent?
     
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  10. Lloyd

    Lloyd Squad Player

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    I've never liked that bloody woman. I said all along she was on the make. Disgusting
     
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  11. Relegation Certs

    Relegation Certs Squad Player

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    Roaring with laughter at this. I didn't realise it was actually that horror of a daughter who put out the sir captain tom gin. I presumed it was some unscrupulous entrepreneur, not that grasping witch.

    (from Oct 2020)
    "Captain Sir Tom Moore's name has been trademarked for use on beers, wines and spirits.
    The 100-year-old veteran's daughter, Hannah Ingram-Moore, 50, has applied to legally protect the phrases Captain Tom and Captain Sir Tom through her company, Club Nook.
    The Coventry-based firm, which was registered in April, has indicated it plans to use the terms on alcoholic products including beer, wine, vodka, sherry, brandy and rum."
     
  12. The undeniable truth

    The undeniable truth First Team Captain

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    It's what he would have wanted.
     
  13. Arakel

    Arakel First Team

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    Seems a bit odd that a chap who walked laps of his garden wanted to make others legless.
     
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  14. BeersThen

    BeersThen Reservist

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    Disappointed there will be no Captain Tom's Pre-mixed Raspberry and White Chocolate Gin and Slimline Tonic.
     
  15. fuzzy73

    fuzzy73 Squad Player

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    Did anyone actually witness him walk all those laps or is the only living testimony coming from a Mrs H Ingram Moore?
     
  16. The undeniable truth

    The undeniable truth First Team Captain

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    As I noted before, I think all the laps look very similar and there's a small "jump" in the video at the exact same point every circuit.
     
  17. Keighley

    Keighley First Team

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    So you think the NHS should return the money?
     
  18. Moose

    Moose First Team Captain

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    Because it’s his garden maybe?
     
  19. Arakel

    Arakel First Team

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    A jump? Laps and hurdles, what a man.
     
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  20. wfcmoog

    wfcmoog Tinpot

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    Steeplechase
     
  21. Lloyd

    Lloyd Squad Player

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    Perhaps Captain Tom's daughter could do a few laps of the garden to raise the money she's going to have to pay back
     
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  22. UEA_Hornet

    UEA_Hornet First Team Captain

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    Maybe a challenge to see how many laps of the exercise yard at Belmarsh she can do?
     
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  23. Relegation Certs

    Relegation Certs Squad Player

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  24. BeersThen

    BeersThen Reservist

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    Add that £800k to the £85k she paid herself, and she still hasn't matched what we slip Duxbury on an annual basis.
     
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  25. a19tgg

    a19tgg First Team

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    I’ve absolutely no time for them as you’ll see from this thread, but it seems the books were never meant to be for charity? Still highly dubious from the point of view that people probably assumed they were by association, but they technically probably haven’t done anything wrong by keeping that particular money.
     
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  26. Moose

    Moose First Team Captain

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    For making equally unathletic oldies run around Vicarage Road?
     
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  27. BeersThen

    BeersThen Reservist

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    Sky News reckon the prologue of one of the books said money raised from it's sale would go to charity in his name, and was also listed similarly on his own website. Maybe they just meant a small %age.
     
  28. wfcmoog

    wfcmoog Tinpot

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    Well that's quite a different claim. It's one thing to persuade the sentimental idiots of the UK to spend their hard earned cash on a load of waffle from an old duffer after suffering through his duet with Michael Ball, but for them to do so thinking they're helping a charity is not playing with a straight bat.

    What is it about crooks and the name 'Ingram?'
     
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  29. Robert Peel

    Robert Peel Squad Player

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    A quick Google tells me that no one has done a techno remix of that musical abomination. The internet has been massively let down here.
     
  30. The undeniable truth

    The undeniable truth First Team Captain

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    Will be available for £9.99 to download very soon. The huge sum of £.009 will be going to charity from each download.
     
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  31. Arakel

    Arakel First Team

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    Agree with both of these posts. If Sky are right than that's basically fraud. If not then they haven't really done anything wrong if they didn't purposely mislead the public. Never assume something goes to charity unless it explicitly says so, and even then check to make sure how much of that money actually gets leveraged towards good causes versus operating costs before making the donation.
     
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  32. Arakel

    Arakel First Team

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    I want to see Captain Tom Moore feat. The Wealdstone Raider. Sure to be a timeless classic.
     
  33. Smudger

    Smudger Messi's Mad Coach

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    Or Cherie Booth. What a loathsome creature. Along with her husband. Hope the planning appeal fails. Should become a politician.
     
  34. CarlosKickaballs

    CarlosKickaballs Forum Picarso

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    I imagine when the income had a few more zeroes than expected some minds changed on how charitable the family was feeling
     
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  35. Bwood_Horn

    Bwood_Horn Squad Player

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    YOU MONSTERS FOR DOUBTING HER INTEGRITY!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Hannah Ingram-Moore's explained that it wasn't a pool complex for her but a "...spa complex for elderly..."
     
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