Things you hate IV

Readers Digest short stories ?

 

You have too much time on your hands

 

I favoured Wisden. Or Hansard.

 

Why do you think we used yesterday's newspaper to wipe with? (Hopefully AFTER it was used to carry your fish'n'chips).

 

Parents who haven’t taught their kids to say thank you at zebra crossings

 

Why should you?

"Hey mate, thanks for obeying the law and not running me over and going to jail for dangerous driving" top man, have a thumbs up too.

 

Just courtesy innit. Costs nothing, gives chewitt a moment of feeling good about himself in out otherwise miserable existence of terminal misery.

 

mi kidz dont speek zebra m8

 

You've seen women dropping their phones down toilets?! OK then....

 

I’ve always been an absolute sticker for thanking the kind motorists who stop for me. However I recall one time a bus stopped and as I went to do a flamboyant thanks my hand got caught in my pocket and for some reason I got flustered that I wasn’t showing due thanks and after wrestling my arm for a while it flew clear and I ended up facing the bus doing a full Nazi salute

 

I've always had my suspicions.

 

Easily done.

 

“I hear you’re a racist now, Father”.

 

Those people, especially Tory ministers, who refer to skilled paramedics doing an incredibly difficult job, as "ambulance drivers".

I hope that one day they are not suffering a heart attack, stroke, car crash etc and when the ambulance turns up, they just stand around and look at them bleeding out and say "sorry mate, I'm just a driver. Where did you want to go to again? Well hop in when you're ready..."

 

How did you get into that sort of thing?

 

I rarely go to the cinema now due to morons. Tonight my eldest wanted to see Avatar and secretly so did I so we went thinking it would be fairly quiet on a wet Wednesday.
Nope, and people just cannot not look at their bright screens for more than 20 minutes, then a few seats away the couple there talked for most of the first 2 hours, took a phone call then f***ed off!

I'm done, that's it.

 

GiffGaff.

Having to negotiate with them about someone else’s service. Knobs.

 

I moved to Smarty. Not because I had any specific problem with Giffgaff, but Smarty has WiFi calling and i live in a dodgy signal area

 

Air india. Cancelled my direct flights to Goa, didn't tell me at all. Just happened to check as a friend wanted to see what flights I was on and it was gone.

Moved me onto a flight a day later going out and a day earlier coming back, via Mumbai. ******* nightmare trying to get it sorted.

 

The last film I saw at the cinema was when they remastered and re-released Star Wars a New Hope. Never been back for similar reasons.

A decent surround system can be picked up for the price of 3 buckets of cinema popcorn and you'll get a better experience at home maybe 3 months later.

 

And this has nothing to do with you being the forum misanthrope?

 

There's nothing wrong with other people that a couple of hundred metres can't fix.

 

I agree that going to the cinema is often miserable. However, we have recently discovered the Rex at Berkhamsted (about 30 years after everyone else) which is always a good experience. It's got an old fashioned cabaret club-style atmosphere with a reasonably priced bar. Everyone is nicely middle class and polite so you don't have to put up with the sound of crisps or pop corn being chomped, fizzy drinks being slurped out of a bucket, someone chatting through the film or mobile phone noises.

 

Currently on a Teams call with two other people who are just talking over each other the whole time. It's pretty sad to watch/listen to as the guy with all the information, (me), isn't going to interrupt the two bores until it's way too late. Currently typing on here whilst they continue to both talk constantly.
On the plus side, I can catch up with the latest transfer gossip on here whilst I continue to have my ears assaulted!

 

Take your clothes off. That'll get their attention

 

I'm going through my marzipan fruit box one by one and they haven't batted an eyelid.

 

You sure it's the washing machine ?

 

Some of the pants in my collection must be getting on for 20 years old. They're indestructible and, god knows, I make them work pretty hard! My wife regularly attempts to cull them and I have had to rescue them from the dustbin on more than one occasion.
Which forum member can boast the oldest underpants that still see regular action?

 

I remember when I was in my twenties working a job that involved me speaking to Shame Richie on the phone, he asked me how old I was and he said he owned underpants older than me.

 

Yes but were they Daz Ultra white?

 

Yep, you don't want working-clsss people at the cinema. Or at football. Let's get posher than ruggah.