‘behind Closed Doors’ Competition

“It’s coming for you, it’s coming for yooooou, coronavirus, it’s coming for you”

And so, with the news the government is meeting sports organisations on Monday to discuss banning people attending events for the greater good (https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/51777154), I thought we should test people’s predictive powers and guess which Watford game will be the first forced behind closed doors.

Winner gets a 4 pack of Andrex bog roll, the new currency among future survivors left to repopulate the earth.

 

I have seen 12 monkeys I know how this ends

 

Norwich home. They're all a bit too close for comfort anyway hence the 6 fingered kids. The virus will love it when it hits there.

 

Games will be stopped in while for the rest of the season, I've gone Southampton.

Virus will mostly have blown over by the start of next season. Games will be constantly delayed to clear the loo rolls from the pitch as the fashion for throwing them as streamers returns with a vengeance as the population seeks to shed the lifetime stockpiles they have already built up.

Cupboards everywhere will remain full of gradually evaporating bottles of hand gel as disposal is restricted to avoid the catastrophic environmental impact of 500 million litres of the stuff leeching into the water supply.

Pasta sales remain depressed for the next decade.

 

More importantly, the Government is thinking of suspending Parliament for five months. Advantages:

1) They'll show that politicians are sharing the sacrifices of us football fans;

2) It would avoid awkward questions being asked in Parliament.

 

Doesn't stop us surrounding the stadium and singing outside!

Also, if they do that, shouldn't they make the matches free to air on Amazon or similar?

 

Greater dexterity for bog roll application, though.

 

It would be absolutely hilarious if the whole season is abandoned.

Can you imagine the scousers reaction if they are told they haven't won the league after all? And Leeds being told they haven't been promoted despite being second when it's all called off.

The only downside is the scum would avoid relegation from the championship.

 

None.

 

Southampton at home please. Getting dragged to my sister in law's that weekend so will miss it. We argued about it as it was news to me, but it was pointed out that I'd made the family stay an extra day and go for a detour to go and watch Kortrijk v Genk on holiday at half term.

 

The downside is vastly outweighed by the other points. #plucky

 

More to the point which games, other than ours, will we buy tickets for that we can then give to infected people.

 

"Premier League considers ban on over-70s at matches"

Something like this makes more sense really - why does everyone have to have their fun ruined/be quarantined when it's only a few who are actually at risk?

 

I've gone for Foxes next week.
"We're done for!"
"Shut up Maudling".

 

Sure, but for the majority it's no worse than catching the flu, and the PL doesn't get shut down every winter because some people are at risk of catching the flu.

 

What's the point when millions take public transport everyday?

 

The point is that it has come out of a germ warfare laboratory, and is being blown out of all proportion, to generate fear among the population so that the global elite can introduce even more restriction and control over us.

 

It will be Norwich at home as I've just bought tickets for that one.

Not that I'll be using them anyway as I'll be out with my now and arrow hunting foxes for food and looting hand gel from m burned out vehicles.

 

<dons tinfoil hat>

 

Have you heard that buzzing noise from your living room light switch?

Best not say anymore, if you catch my drift.

 

Just let everyone catch it.

It'll tidy up the gene pool a bit. Lighten the welfare burden.

Every little helps.

 

I reckon we're two weeks behind Italy, so Southampton will be the first behind closed doors

Local Tesco had round out of toilet roll this morning, so i nicked 3 rolls out of the customer toilets. Also took their soap, hand dryer, 2 shopping baskets and one of those little bleep bleep guns.

 

I would love this season to be cancelled.

Just imagine the riots in Liverpool. Plus Leeds would be kept in their place.

 

Source?

 

Picturing thousands of pensioners turning up with fake student union cards.

 

That's a very suitable avatar you have!

 

I do, and very good advice I think. Anyway it's just a strong feeling I have, and I do not have a shred of evidence, so best I keep quiet.
If I'm wrong, I just look an idiot, and if I'm right I could find myself in a bit of bother.

 

Please see my above reply to UEA.

 

I can’t see that happening. Either the season will simply stop at the point when the decision is made, and places will be determined at that stage, or the remaining games would somehow be rescheduled for a later date.

 

Burnley away...

 

I think the plan is to play them behind closed doors, with additional TV. coverage.