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Discussion in 'Taylor's Tittle-Tattle - General Banter' started by Diamond, Feb 7, 2019.

  1. luke_golden

    luke_golden Space Cadet

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    Reading this thread makes me thankful that community life here is restricted to the confines of your small neighborhood.

    Being a white family man with an alright job, I live in a neighborhood with other white people who have decent jobs. I’m told by my wife that neighborhood Facebook page is fairly high-brow. She found me a notary, and a neighbor who’ll build us a fence.

    For equilibrium, she also follows the Aylesbury grapevine Facebook page, and frequently informs me of the goings on amongst the chavs and scumbags in the duck town I once called home.
     
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  2. Otter

    Otter Gambling industry insider

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    Did you suggest she use a ladder?
     
  3. wfcmoog

    wfcmoog Tinpot

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    First ever non-dox screenshot for me. Here goes. [​IMG]
     
  4. nornironhorn

    nornironhorn Administrator

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    The ones in Northern Ireland are usually fun, everyone looks for clues in writing style, name spelling and profile pictures to find out the other persons religion. Then its an all out slabbering match.
     
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  5. Keighley

    Keighley First Team

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    Proddy?
     
  6. Filbert

    Filbert Leicester supporting bloke

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    I like those ones because the spotter always has a reason that they couldn’t intervene. I saw one the other day along the lines of, ‘there’s a dead cat in someone’s front garden on X road, I couldn’t stop and check the tag because I had the dog with me’..... usually they can’t do something because there’s a ‘screaming toddler’.

    I like that this person has basically admitted to being too ******* bone idle to get off their arse and inform the security guard stood 20 yards away.
     
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  7. wfcmoog

    wfcmoog Tinpot

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    I'd come up with a super, hilarious response to this, but unfortunately I'm sitting down
     
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  8. HappyHornet24

    HappyHornet24 Crapster

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    I never realised that "I was sitting down" was a legitimate reason not to do something. How different my life could have been - and how different it will be from now on.
    "Mum, can you help me with my homework?" - sorry, (hun), no can do; I'm sitting down
    "Can you give me a lift to the station?" - apologies, but as above
    etc etc
     
  9. Happy bunny

    Happy bunny Cheered up a bit

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    And we'll all forget nothing about that incident
     
  10. Happy bunny

    Happy bunny Cheered up a bit

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    I look for clues as to who's Moog
     
  11. HappyHornet24

    HappyHornet24 Crapster

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    You may have gathered by now that I live in an area of high crime. (you may also have gathered that I am becoming worryingly addicted to the comic value of my local FB page) The latest shocking event:

    "Did anybody see that guy who was riding a kids BMX down the hill heading to xxxx last night wtf i have seen it all now no lights either"

    Now, in defence of my town, we are not all humourless idiots; the first comment after the post is the following:
    "Xxxxx: xxxxxx has certainly reached a new depth of depravity. I can remember a time when everybody rode a bike of the correct size and design, and to be seen riding without lights was unthinkable. This is not the town that it once was, and thank you, Ethel*, for taking the time to bring this new 'low' to our attention. Absolutely disgusted."

    Poor Ethel, though, hadn't turned on her sarcasm detector and responded with
    " Thats ok x ig was ridiculous"

    The thread subsequently degenerates into a (highly amusing) argument once Ethel realises people are taking the piss, culminating with poor, victimised Ethel posting the following:
    "Pathetic people picking on a lady whom is making a decent point. How would you feel if that was your child at night? How would you respond if you hit the person while driving in your car inurying them as they were not visable at night? You daft person having a whine at xxxxx **she had a valid point Willam 'The Troll' apologize to Ethel then get lost you waste of oxygen!"

    * name has been changed to protect the innocent/stupid
    * *she refers to herself in the third person here, using her full name
     
  12. Diamond

    Diamond First Team

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    Domingos says:

    Don’t bother come to tesco rickmansworth now... road it’s blocked...
     
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  13. Happy bunny

    Happy bunny Cheered up a bit

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    There's a snake disguised as a middle-aged woman making its way into the local tennis club. Should I be afraid?
     
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  14. Arakel

    Arakel First Team

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    It's just Nagini trying to hide a horcrux.
     
  15. another_mrlizard

    another_mrlizard Squad Player

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    You lot don't know you're born:


    Bev Weedon
    10 February at 13:36


    To the group of lads that got on the 23.50 train to Basingstoke at Clapham Junction last night ( the only name I got was Ali and he had a sleeve of Greek Gods ) thankyou. You made a miserable journey home from a great night out most entertaining for my grandson and me... P.s. We never did get to hear how to survive a velociraptor attack




    Linda Westbrook
    Conversation starter · 5 February at 17:23
    Anybody now when the road is opening but leisure centre

    And

    [​IMG]
     
  16. miked2006

    miked2006 Premiership Prediction League Proprietor

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    Wonderful illustrations of your average Brexit voter and the failure of the British education system.
     
  17. RookeryDad

    RookeryDad Squad Player

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    Would you say you prefer Janmaat or Holebas?
     
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  18. Diamond

    Diamond First Team

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    Mehul posts:

    Is anyone getting salty water in the taps in Chorleywood

    Moog????
     
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  19. nascot

    nascot First Team

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    Rachel says: " I can't believe how much this town has changed over the years crime was unheard of when I was in school"

    Yes that's right, crime is a modern issue.
     
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  20. nascot

    nascot First Team

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    Louise commenting on an accident on the M25: "hope no one seriously hurt"

    A little bit hurt is OK though.
     
  21. UEA_Hornet

    UEA_Hornet First Team Captain

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    Presumably someone has to pay for the delays caused to everyone else. In blood. But not too much blood.
     
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  22. another_mrlizard

    another_mrlizard Squad Player

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    The horror.................the horror....!

    B&M is a joke I'm am so angry I was shopping in there store today with my mother who has IBS we asked a member of staff if she could use the toilet and she was refused even after we stayed that she has a medical condition we still got told no we asked for the manager and apparently they don't have one surly it's law to provide a toilet expecially for those who have disabilities they don't even have a disabled toilet and there customer skill are disgusting
     
  23. HappyHornet24

    HappyHornet24 Crapster

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    To be fair, that grammar is horrific.
     
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  24. wfcmoog

    wfcmoog Tinpot

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    I have IBS but this B&M the woman was suffering from sounds tortuous!

    Hope she done a nice poo somewhere and feel a better xxx
     
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  25. Beekayess

    Beekayess Reservist

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    This has become one of my favourite threads …………. keep 'em coming.
     
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  26. Filbert

    Filbert Leicester supporting bloke

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    rip disabled toilets u r wiv da angles
     
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  27. Bwood_Horn

    Bwood_Horn Squad Player

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    your an idoit m8 she was talking bout her mum not her gammar
     
  28. wfcmoog

    wfcmoog Tinpot

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    Jade goody, princes di, Jil Dando an disable toilets r wiv da angles. Xxx
     
  29. Bwood_Horn

    Bwood_Horn Squad Player

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    Our last crabbing session (Hampton Pier) was a very last minute affair so in a rush I just threw a load of gear and some bait in the back of the car and set off. We arrived an hour before high-tide, parked and started to get clothing on and get the crab-nets ready. I discovered I hadn't bough any sort of "blade" with me and couldn't open the semi-frozen mackerel bait packets. A pair of coppers turned up, to search/use the nearby toilets, so I asked them if either of had a Swiss Army or Leatherman I could use to open the bait. One said yes and thanked me as he would then spend rest of the day stinking of fish. I handed him my (son's) RADAR key and told them to use the disabled toilet as it would definitely have hot water and soap in it. They returned the key to me complaining that the RADAR toilet was cleaner and better equipped than their (a) nick and (b) homes...
     
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  30. Diamond

    Diamond First Team

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    Andrew asks: We are new here.. But is it normal for counsel tax to be 270pounds per month in chorleywood?

    Maybe ring the council Andrew?
     
  31. Beekayess

    Beekayess Reservist

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    Or check that out before you move into an area.
     
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  32. Guy

    Guy Squad Player

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    I am looking for a dog groomer ASAP please. My current one is very busy and my shichon cannot wait any longer unfortunately. Is there anyone available at all please?? Thanks

    Buy a grooming brush and do it yourself you lazy cow
     
  33. Filbert

    Filbert Leicester supporting bloke

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    I was hoping someone could help me out. I am trying to track down a father and son who play the Bagpipes. We have had them at functions before but have lost their contact number. My husband seems to remember their names were both Syd. We would love the to play again at another function. We are sure they live on the new estate on the left of the roundabout after Aldi on Leicester Rd. Anyone any ideas??

    Father and son bagpipe duo both called Syd, living on a small estate on the edge of Melton. Good luck love, you need to be more specific. I can scrape a knife against a blackboard for you if you can’t find them, it’ll sound as good as two sets of bagpipes.
     
  34. Beekayess

    Beekayess Reservist

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    I'm not on Facebook, but Mrs Beekayess is. She told me about the woman who moved into a house near a field, and then complained to members of the village Facebook group about how noisy the cows were ………..

    Fortunately the general consensus was a lack of sympathy for her, on the basis that the cows were there first.

    I look forward to retiring from work so that I can get irate about similarly important matters.
     
  35. HappyHornet24

    HappyHornet24 Crapster

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    The latest from the metropolis. This clearly needed, as a matter of urgency, to be shared with everyone in a public post, rather than just thought of fleetingly to oneself......

    Frogs leaping about in the pond today, in a "friendly" sort of way. . Same date every year. How do they know. means frogspawn next month. nature is amazing.

     
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