Tottenham Hotspur 4-0 Watford FC - 08/04/2017

Discussion in 'Match Day' started by Clive_ofthe_Kremlin, Apr 5, 2017.

  1. Clive_ofthe_Kremlin

    Clive_ofthe_Kremlin Squad Player

    On Saturday 8th April 2016 (tbc), the Hornets will make the short journey to London’s White Hart Lane (tbc) to take on Premier League rivals TOTTENHAN HOTSPURS.

    Kick off is probably around midday-ish (tbc). The Hotspurs are notoriously unpredictable, nomadic and difficult to pin down, flitting from ground to ground and changing kick off times at the last minute, so probably the best advice for anyone planning on attending is to call the club on Saturday morning to find out whether there’s a game on and what the venue will be.


    Club History
    Formed a year after Watford, in 1882, the club was originally called just Hotspurs FC and played entirely non-league football on marshes. They applied to join the league many times, but because of unpopularity amongst other clubs were constantly rejected and left out in the cold. They were the only club amongst 23 league applicants in 1892 to receive absolutely zero votes. They were finally and somewhat reluctantly permitted to join the football league in 1908. They adopted their familiar “chicken standing on a beach ball” badge in the same year.

    Over the past 110 years, success has been hard to come by for the Hotspurs, who’ve had to try to survive in the shadow of their more successful giant North London neighbours, Arsenal. The club struggled with indignity and failure, suffering relegation in 1915, 1928 and 1935. They were relegated again in 1976 and narrowly escaped a similar fate in 1992, 1994, 1998 and 2004.

    More recent seasons though have finally brought a little success to the plucky underdogs and they shocked the entire footballing world by battling their way right through to the semi-final of the Screensport Super Cup in 1986 before crashing out to Everton. In an unbelievable fairytale finish to last season, the Hotspurs even shocked their Arsenal rivals by almost finishing above them in the league table, only to disappointingly fail in the last few games.



    Hotspurs Players to Watch

    Patrolling the midfield after returning from his 3 match ban for violent conduct will be Hotspurs uncompromising and no nonsense, hard man ‘Dirty’ Dele Ali. The infamous tough tackling ex-Milton Keynes Don saw red most recently following a typically reckless over the top, studs-up challenge as frustrations grew during Hotspurs recent disappointing elimination from the Euro league competition. The ex-third division enforcer is no stranger to controversy, with some commentators accusing him of blatant and persistent diving. He made more enemies recently when attempting an audacious lob of the opposition keeper rather than giving the ball back following an injury. If he remains on the pitch for the full 90, ‘Chemical’ Ali can be dangerous to any hornet’s player with his infamous trademark full-blooded challenges and acrobatic penalty box tumbles.

    [​IMG]



    Harry Hotspurs is not only Tottenhan’s official club mascot, but is also the name of two of their players. Like the famous sitcom, Steptoe and Son, they have two Harolds – one older, dirty unpleasant one and another younger na*ve one. This carries on a long tradition of rag and bone men (or ‘totters’) supporting the Hotspurs or playing for them. In fact the name ‘Tottenhan’ is said to have originated from the large number of totters who operated in that area of London.

    The current pair, ‘Arold Kane and ‘Arold Wianks are both however injured currently. Hotspurs scouts are said to be combing the textile and household recycling community (as they’re now called these days) for replacements, so it’s possible there may be other ‘Arolds turning out for them on Saturday.

    http://media.*****images.com/photos/rag-and-bone-man-pulling-a-handcart-loaded-with-waste-manchester-1977-picture-id109707934?s=612x612
    An ‘Otspur ‘Arold on His Way to ‘The Lane’




    We’ve Met Before

    We’ve played Tootenhan Hostpurs 42 times over the years, with the Hornets emerging victorious on no less than 27 occasions, whilst 8 games have been drawn and 7 have resulted in a win for the Totters*. The most recent meeting between the two clubs saw the Golden Boys emerge as comfortable 4-1 victors in a rather one sided affair*.




    Prediction

    The Hotspurs are sure to have their tails up after another amazing season by their standards, which sees them occupying the unfamiliar lofty heights of a place in the top 4. However with the Hornets coming off the back of two straight wins with two clean sheets, they should have too much quality throughout the team to see off the Totters challenge. I’m predicting a routine 1-3 win.
























    * Stats supplied by alt-stats.com and weighted to take into account deserved goals and near misses, incorrect referee decisions and general moral authority.
     
  2. BigRossLittleRoss

    BigRossLittleRoss First Team

    Love the Steptoe analogy.
     
  3. Meh!

    Meh! Pre-Dictator

    1-3? Nice of you to give the home team a generous goal there fella.

    To be honest we will smash this lot as we are in the Spurs choke-end of the season.

    0-4.
     
  4. wfcmoog

    wfcmoog Tinpot

    Some quite incredible research in there. Must've taken weeks of trawling through the archives to collate those facts and figures, but it is very informative and educational. Thanks Clive
     
  5. Diamond

    Diamond First Team

    This is the game where Ighalo will break his barren spell and score 3.
     
  6. cyaninternetdog

    cyaninternetdog Forum Hippie

    Listen to this while reading the preview and it makes complete sense.

    [video=youtube;N-Ko8AFh6-k]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N-Ko8AFh6-k[/video]
     
  7. ITK platypus

    ITK platypus Squad Player

    Has anyone received their tickets yet? I ordered mine some time ago and they still have not arrived....
     
  8. iamofwfc

    iamofwfc Squad Player

    Ordered mine on the first day of the sale and they came friday 31 March 2017
     
  9. Mine haven't.
     
  10. Harrow Orn

    Harrow Orn Squad Player

    Pub session for me this one. Followed by Soccer Saturday & the National. Lovely.
     
  11. Fernandiiito

    Fernandiiito First Year Pro

    Went out in today's post, apparently
     
  12. CaveManHornet

    CaveManHornet Reservist

    Ain't gonna be easy. I actually thought that Tottenham were the only ones who have truly outclassed us at the Vic this season and I doubt it will be much different at their fortress where they'll be looking for an 'easy' three points in order to catch up with the Blue's. With that in mind, if Watford keep up with current form, it wouldn't be impossible to nick a point out of this; especially if they underestimate us.

    Mind you, we are without Kaboul, Britos and possibly Prodl... Our defence has every chance of crumbling withing minutes of the start of the game. Probably best that we have our fingers crossed in order to prevent any more center back injuries because I honestly don't know who we have who can replace Cathy and/or Marriappa! I don't even think Brice Dja DjeDje is even registered so i'm not too sure if we have any replacement for Janmaat if he were to get injured.

    This could be another game to remember for the rest of our lives or it could simply be a disaster; reminiscent to the Liverpool game... Hoping it's not the latter
     
  13. KelsoOrn

    KelsoOrn Squad Player

    Not got mine yet. I'll give them a ring tomorrow methinks.
     
  14. KelsoOrn

    KelsoOrn Squad Player

    Another classic of the genre. I am currently wrestling with getting off the sofa and having a p.ss, wetting myself or investing in some sort of online incontinence package.
     
  15. Bubble

    Bubble Wise Oracle

    Currently trailing 1-0 away at Swansea....

    Chelsea are 2-1 up against Man City.
     
  16. I Blame Pozzo

    I Blame Pozzo First Team

    Very fine work Clive,so much I didn't know.

    Will Hercules play do you think?
     
  17. CaveManHornet

    CaveManHornet Reservist

    Just won the game with 2 last minute goals! God... Now I am dreading Saturday lol

    EDIT: Nevermind, they just scored another goal.................
     
  18. Godfather

    Godfather bricklayer extraordinaire

    Again?!?! .... No kidding, if I was a drugs tester I'd be checking their water bottles right now.
     
  19. CaveManHornet

    CaveManHornet Reservist

    Unbelievable... Literally refreshed the page a few times within a couple of minutes and the goal tally went from 1 to 2 to 3 as if they were netting them in every time they kicked off :eek:

    I now have a feeling that our defense is going to get shredded on the weekend
     
  20. ForzaWatford

    ForzaWatford Squad Player

    I hate Spurs. Potters Bar is full of Spurs fans and they're very annoying. They'll hammer us though. Last two games against them have been so one-sided.
     
  21. Nnnn

    Nnnn First Team

    With our pacy & in-form strikers Spuds won't just be able to go all out attack. Our lack of CBs is a big worry though. We'll probably lose but I wouldn't bet my house on it.
     
  22. SkylaRose

    SkylaRose Administrator Staff Member

    Spurs showed a master class of how to play away from home at the Vic. We are not out for revenge as spurs like teams who come at them. If we defend as well as Tuesday then a point is not unrealistic. 0-0 would be awesome. We need the points as much as they do at the moment and with Swansea after this anything would be welcome to just keep the players beliefs high if nothing else.
     
  23. wfcmoog

    wfcmoog Tinpot

    Must win game. If we lose, I wonder if the 'Wally In' brigade will have the guts to admit they were wrong
     
  24. Godfather

    Godfather bricklayer extraordinaire

    we should be beating the likes of spurs
     
  25. V Crabro

    V Crabro Reservist

    I haven't felt this apprehensive about an away fixture since...............................The Emirates
     
  26. Cassetti's Beard

    Cassetti's Beard First Team

    Isn't it about time Spurs mess everything up?

    Spurs 1-2 Watford
     
  27. Simmos

    Simmos First Year Pro

    Clive - I can hardly believe we have won just the 27 times. Surely you need to check this as it seems so many more. I certainly can't remember their last win let alone 7 victories.
     
  28. Otter

    Otter Gambling industry insider

    Must have been a pre-season friendly when Perryman was manager.
     
  29. Is that funny Moog or serious Moog? Just so I know whether to laugh or fume.
     
  30. Cassetti's Beard

    Cassetti's Beard First Team

    60% laugh, 40% fume.
     
  31. carboy98

    carboy98 Reservist

    Forget the score*, I'm looking forward to seeing who Mazzarri fights this time round.
    My money's on him lamping an academy prospect, or possibly setting fire to the dugout if he gets really wound up.

    (* - If pressed for a prediction I'd settle for 3-0 to us, tough afternoon for the Hotspurs)
     
  32. Diamond

    Diamond First Team

    I'm betting the outhouse on serious.
     
  33. KelsoOrn

    KelsoOrn Squad Player

    Ticket just arrived. Mind you it's got Tottenham Hotspur on it so must be a misprint or for the wrong match.
     
  34. Moose

    Moose First Team Captain

    We formed a year before Spuzz in 1881. We failed to capitalise on that advantage. Pozzos out!
     
  35. Cthulhu

    Cthulhu Keyboard Warrior Staff Member

    Id like to beat them and Chelsea. Then we would have the full set of glory team scalps.

    I imagine Spurs will be the hardest win though
     

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