Things you hate III

Deserves its bad press.

 

Software or Aps that seemingly require an update every single bleeding time you launch them. Especially bad are the ones that take for ever or force you to restart

 

I hate the fact that the water main has burst and I can't either go to the loo or make a cup of tea at the moment.

 

Magnolia.

Thanks to the British love of 'property' and their acceptance of everything they say in property porn TV shows as gospel, we can't get away from acres and acres of deadly dull, featureless, plain old vanilla magnolia. 99% of British home interior walls are magnolia these days I reckon.

"Well, it's nice and neutral you see. Doesn't put the buyer off like strong colours and personalisation."

But you're not even selling your house and you're not planning to, so why oh why the decorative equivalent of the Sahara desert? Why the boring, boring beige?

Of course us poor unfortunate renters have no choice. Every amateur buy-to-let Rachman knows that rule number one in the "renovate and rent out" handbook is to plaster the house from doorstep to gable in gallons of magnolia. It's very neutral y'see. Doesn't put tenants off.

I yearn for the days of a bit of colourful flock wallpaper or to see a room painted purple or green or whatever.

 

I get where you're coming from, I really do but I'm guilty.

When I bought my house every room was a different colour, but each room was all that one uniform colour.
Living room was a lavender blue, walls curtains radiators doors carpet, all the same shade.
Hall landing and stairs the same but orange. Kitchen, bright Yellow, my bedroom green.
Bathroom was what can only be described as baby sick.
Colour is good, but not COLOUR!

The first thing I did was get 3 coats of magnolia on and either replace or return the radiators & skirting boards to white.
7 years latter and it's slowly getting some character as I fill up with furniture and decorate.

Kitchen has been done. Grey mosaic tiles White walls. The dining area has a battleship grey feature wall. Sounds dreary but it really isn't.
Living room will soon have a teal green/blue feature wall as will the bedroom.
Downstairs loo has mirror disco tiles and I've invested in remote control down lighters that can cycle colours and flash arty2:

 

Makes me want a curry

 

What on earth do you do in there? Evidently it requires blinds too...

 

Disco poos.

No the downlighters are in the dining room. Purchased cos they're dimmable but the colours thing was an added bonus.

 

The Street light outside my bedroom window that the council have decided to replace with an LED unit. It's so bright no only does it shine through the closed curtains but it also shines through the walls.

 

The facilities management in my HMRC building have found a way round that. Having spent months and a fortune refurbishing an entire floor, they have painted it in a colour called "Brooklyn Beige" (according to the painters).

It isn't magnolia, but is identical in every way to magnolia.

It is sitting empty at the moment, and will do for a while yet, as they have now realised that they have not got enough power points for the workstations. Typical waste and incompetence in the civil service.

 

I've never been, but I've heard Ulaanbaatar os lovely this time of year.

 

Clive,
Most landlords will not object with you painting the walls the colour of your choice as long as you tell them and also when you move out paint the wall back to the original cheap to purchase magnolia. Just an idea but that's what I used to do!


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

The **** in this video.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/football...lls-rival-player-bullying-fan-wearing-signed/

 

Kettles that pour too slowly, so that you need to tilt them further then all the boiling water goes over the worktop your trousers and shoes.

 

OK I may get some stick over this but it's doing my head in:

I have a mate who had a dog he doted over, you know, facebook pictures of it every day, like it was a child. The dog died, he was heartbroken, life would never be the same etc etc.
One week later, new puppy. Facebook servers are now overflowing with puppy pictures and videos. The old dog is still warm in the ground.

Conclusion: He's a d***.

 

• Blokes who moan about being 'friend-zoned' and go on about how nice they are etc. etc.
• White-Knighting
• Watford's Tw@tter feed - #MondayMotivation #LifeGoals.
• People who use the phrase 'Relationship goals'
• People who use the joke 'It's Wine O'Clock!' come 5 pm Friday.

 

People who talk really really loudly in the office. The whole office can hear them every time they open their mouth.

 

Blokes who wear skin tight trousers 2 inches too short for them with no socks.
When did this become a thing? I actually saw an estate agent yesterday wearing a grey shiny suit set-up like this with a clear ankle gap between the bottom of his troozers and the tops of his brown slip on shoes. I assume he wore slip ons because either he was too stupid to do laces, or more likely bending over to tie laces up would either cause internal organ damage or split his trousers. His hairstyle also approximated a 60s beehive.

I promised myself that I wouldn't criticise fashion as it's the sort of thing old people do, but seriously?

 

Funnily enough, as I was typing my post just above your one, I was thinking of including this exact thing.

 

This no socks thing is all very 80s Miami Vice.

 

Fair dos if you're wearing a white suit with espadrilles. But not a grey suit with brown slip-ons.

 

Fair point, do I need to remind you IT'S MORE FUN IN THE PHILIPPINES, where nobody wears socks?

 

Brown shoes, slip on or laced I agree. There is no place for them on this earth

 

TV weather forecasts they are never ending, just how many do we need And they rarely get the forecast right either

 

I SEE SATAN*!!!!!!

*(or Jeremy Beadle with horns)

 

Dishwasher rinse aid bottles.

How the hell do you use them without leaving half the bottle all over the door.

 

Punctures on the canal when you have puncture resistant tyres and slime inner tubes. WTF?

 

Pee in the kettle, both problems solved.

 

How 'puncture resistant'? It's often over stated by manufacturers, but there are some really good ones, like 'Armadillos'.

 

People using 'palm' steering when driving. It's obviously a stupid thing to do and you just look like a ******* for doing it.

 

Schwalbe tyres. To be fair I've done over 1000 canal miles on them without incident and it was a big a55 nail, but the slime inner tubes were completely useless when I needed them. Now dropped.