Temporary Spice Boy

Discussion in 'Taylor's Tittle-Tattle - General Banter' started by Clive_ofthe_Kremlin, Nov 9, 2018.

  1. Clive_ofthe_Kremlin

    Clive_ofthe_Kremlin Squad Player

    Any of you cats ever had to do temping?

    While I'm waiting for my DBS check to come through so I can start my Care Assistant job, I've had to do some temporary work in a spice factory. Packing them into boxes and putting them on a palette. 40 hours, £300 a week, but it's a pay-check Jack.

    06:00 start which is why I'm up so early. Park the car amongst the T and Y reg bangers of my temporary comrades. There's Polish ladies, there's Romanian ladies and there's Bulgarian ladies, so at least I've learned a few words of their languages to pass the time. They're amused to have an English sweating with them. They laugh and they expect me to faint, but I will never faint, I refuse to lose, I refuse to fall down.

    There are a few other English in there, but they're the floor bosses and such. They stand around gossiping with each other, watching us while we work, or ride around on little electric fork lift things or spend their time noting things down on paper, while I pump my pump truck and haul bulk spice.

    It's very cold in the warehouse and very boring. The cardboard peels back the cuticles on your fingernails so they bleed all the time and the spice dust gets in them. The blue paint from the rain-soaked palettes comes off on your hands. You'd think the smell of the spice would be nice and at first it is OK, but like anything it gets sickening after a while. It gets all over you and your clothes stink of it. Most of the spice is not exotic, it is English spice like Beef Casserole or Curry Sauce powder.

    But today is my last day of it. And I'm going to go. I'm going to get out of here. Because, you see, It's the monotony that's got to me. Every morning like the last one. Every morning like a re-run.

    My new job starts at last on Monday.

    And I will never return, no never return, to this spice factory.
     
  2. Clive_ofthe_Kremlin

    Clive_ofthe_Kremlin Squad Player

    Here's my boss.

    He's called Lawrence Kurzius. He does not have a T reg car. Nor does he pump truck. Nor does he have blue paint on his hands or his clothes stinking of curry sauce.

    [​IMG]

    Last year, Kurzius' base salary rose 12 percent to $965,385. He also took in $1.2 million from stock awards and $2.25 million from options. Kurzius saw his pension value and deferred compensation earnings rise to $1.6 million.
     
  3. PhilippineOrn

    PhilippineOrn First Team

    A bounder and cad and all round cur if ever I saw.
     
  4. You could always try prostitution?
     
  5. Moose

    Moose First Team Captain

    Clive, I hope you are not trying to form a connection in our minds between low paid, uncomfortable drudgery and the wealthy.

    Without gallant risk takers like him none of the rest of us would have the gumption to ineptly spice so much as a piece of cheap hake.

    I salute this man and his frankly hideous moustache, probably the one and only true risk he’s ever taken.
     
  6. The undeniable truth

    The undeniable truth First Team Captain

    Ha, so you're at McCormick at Haddenham ? Great place. Used to go there on audit when I worked at E&Y. When half a mile away you could wind the car window down, fill your lungs, and "it's paprika today".
     
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  7. Moose

    Moose First Team Captain

    What do the Brexiteers hope will happen after the glorious day? Who will you coerce into this work?

    Hopefully they won’t be able to get the staff and have to invest in tech to do the work. That might eat into moustache man’s profits, but c’est la vie.

    Our defenders of wealth creators on here must love this guy. Sure it’s boring work, but he has stripped costs down to the bone through his revolving door employment and that is the moral and efficient thing to do, right?
     
  8. Bwood_Horn

    Bwood_Horn Squad Player

    Ha! Ha! Ha!Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! To paraphrase Monty Python's restaurant cleaner*: "...at least I don't work for Lithuanians*..."

    *In "The Meaning of Life".
    **I only married one.
     
  9. wfcmoog

    wfcmoog Tinpot

    I heard of a study recently of civil servants, which compared incidents of depression, anxiety and heart attacks between lowly, papershufflers and high end beaurocrats.

    Many people may expect the people with the higher paid, more stressful jobs to suffer worse, but the report showed that it was the people whose daily job was excessively mundane and in which they had no control or felt they made no meaningful contribution, or used their talents, who suffered worse.

    I will try and find the reference from it. It was quoted in an audiobook by Johan Hari called Lost Connections. Hari has had some controversy (accused of plagiarism and malicious wikipedia editing) but the book still has some interesting insight.
     
  10. I Blame Pozzo

    I Blame Pozzo First Team

    I had hoped you might play 'Temporary Chicken' by Telex or have taken the place of VB in the reformed 'band'.
    I worked at Ault and Wiborg (?) in Garston when I was 17,in the office with a few women and a man called Chris,doing something to do with paint.
    I also worked in the kitchen of a factory,which was much better although there was no sign of Brenda!
     
  11. Forzainglese

    Forzainglese Reservist

    I hope that Hari has taken into account all the reasons these two groups have different health outcomes. I agree that I don't like tedious jobs, either, but correlation should not be mistaken for causation and there must be many factors involved in this thing.
     
  12. Bwood_Horn

    Bwood_Horn Squad Player

    *fixed*
     
  13. wfcmoog

    wfcmoog Tinpot

    Yeah. I don't like the guy and his narration of his book is terrible. Anyway I will find the study which he quoted. I was only trying to be helpful.
     
  14. Happy bunny

    Happy bunny Cheered up a bit

    "Something to do with paint." Sounds like you didn't grasp this opportunity for career advancement with both hands, and had to settle for tennis instead. A tragic loss to the world of paint and painting!
     
  15. Bwood_Horn

    Bwood_Horn Squad Player

    Sorry moogy it wasn't meant to be a dig at you. It's just that I find anyone who quotes Hari to be the equal of a taxi driver stating that Jeremy Clarkson / Tim Martin / Nigel Farage is a very clever man.

    It's probably the shame / self-loathing for my own admiration of Hari whose first published piece (Tribune / New Statesman) on how he was a symbol of the identity politics the New Labour "project" had to address to ensure its growth and survival was a masterpiece critiqueing social democracy. Unfortunately this piece was rehashed over the years becoming a self-parody of works that were little more than "Speaking as a fat Jewish poof..." pieces interspersed with op-eds that had all the intellectual rigour of a 7 year old's "What I did in my holiday..." story for teacher. I think I'm embarrassed that my Emperor's New Clothes moment came far too late.
     
    wfcmoog likes this.
  16. RookeryDad

    RookeryDad Squad Player

    IBB, this reads like a coded message.

    To the Russians?

    Duxbury?

    Brenda herself?
     
  17. RookeryDad

    RookeryDad Squad Player


    Nice Package, Sir

    In 2017 CEO Lawrence Kurzius, who also became chairman of Sparks-based McCormick last year, was the highest-paid executive. His compensation rose 38.8 percent to $9.05 million in 2017 compared to $6.5 million the year before.


    Annual Promotions

    Experience


    • [​IMG]
      Company Name McCormick & Company
      Total Duration 13 yrs 11 mos
      • Title Chairman, President and Chief Executive Officer
        Dates Employed Feb 2017 – Present
        Employment Duration 1 yr 10 mos
        Location 18 Loveton Circle, Sparks MD 21152 USA
      • Title President and CEO
        Dates Employed Feb 2016 – Present
        Employment Duration 2 yrs 10 mos
      • Title President and Chief Operating Officer
        Dates Employed Jan 2015 – Jan 2016
        Employment Duration 1 yr 1 mo
      • Title President Americas, China, Global Consumer, and Chief Administrative Officer
        Dates Employed Jun 2014 – Dec 2014
        Employment Duration 7 mos
      • Title President Global Consumer and Chief Administrative Officer
        Dates Employed Jul 2013 – Jun 2014
        Employment Duration 1 yr
        Location Sparks, MD
      • Title President, International Business
        Dates Employed Sep 2008 – Jun 2013
        Employment Duration 4 yrs 10 mos
        Location Sparks, MD
      • Title President, Europe, Middle East and Africa
        Dates Employed Jan 2007 – Aug 2008
        Employment Duration 1 yr 8 mos
        Location Haddenham, UK
      • Title President, US Consumer Foods
        Dates Employed Sep 2005 – Dec 2006
        Employment Duration 1 yr 4 mos
        Location Hunt Valley, MD
      • Title Vice President and General Manager Sales and Marketing, US Consumer Foods
        Dates Employed Jan 2005 – Aug 2005
        Employment Duration 8 mos
        Location Hunt Valley, MD
    And for those you have scrolled this far, a little reward:

     
    Clive_ofthe_Kremlin likes this.
  18. kVA

    kVA Reservist

    There’ll be no call for the spice packaging industry after Brexit. Brexiteers don’t eat all that spicy foreign muck.

    Those Eastern European women that @Clive_ofthe_Kremlin worked with will be too busy laughing and joking about the weak-willed Brit with Dorito flavoured cuticles who quit after a couple of of weeks.

    Clive, didn’t you even manage to force the management to give your comrades the correct PPE?
     
    Clive_ofthe_Kremlin likes this.
  19. Moose

    Moose First Team Captain

    He just has the look of someone I expect to see in a Police line up mugshot one day.
     
  20. RookeryDad

    RookeryDad Squad Player

    Yes but they’ll pick out Chris Kamara.
     
  21. I Blame Pozzo

    I Blame Pozzo First Team

    I could have been the Dulux sheepdog!
    Burgess,Philby,McClean,Bassett?
    The Moscow Dynamo midfield 1956!
     
  22. Amazing. I used to go on audit to the Lucas Electrical plant in Haddenham when I was with E&Y.
     
  23. Were any of the women sucking hot sausage? And did your d*ck droop?

    We should be told.
     
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  24. The undeniable truth

    The undeniable truth First Team Captain

    EY Reading or London ?
     
  25. RookeryDad

    RookeryDad Squad Player

    All playing left wing, I would imagine.
     
  26. That London. Beckett, then York House.
     
  27. The undeniable truth

    The undeniable truth First Team Captain

    Ah, ok. I was at Reading for 10 years. 1990-2000.
     
  28. wfcmoog

    wfcmoog Tinpot

    It wasn't Hari's study https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Whitehall_Study

    Note: Subjects of Whitehall II in the lowest employment grades were more likely to have many of the established risk factors of coronary heart disease (CHD): a propensity to smoke, lower height-to-weight ratio, less leisure time, and higher blood pressure. However, even after normalizing for these factors, the lower employment grades were still at greater risk for a heart attack; another factor was at work.
     
  29. Stevohorn

    Stevohorn Watching Grass Grow

    I thought this was about Clive replacing Posh for the Spice Girls reunion tour.. Commie Spice.

    "If you wanna be my comrade...."
     
  30. jw-

    jw- Reservist

    What does normalising mean? Just adjusting by the % increase each factor has?
     
  31. Arakel

    Arakel First Team

    If I were a TV executive, I'd green light a travel-detective crossover reality show starring Clive and Godfather in the blink of an eye. They could tour and swagger around the world, bringing injustices to light and telling tall tales of mermaids* and dragons** to the watching masses.

    Would be solid gold entertainment (probably not good for the whole family).

    * Godfather nailed them.

    ** those too.
     
  32. Bwood_Horn

    Bwood_Horn Squad Player

    AKA "fiddling the figures".
     
    Bloke likes this.
  33. wfcmoog

    wfcmoog Tinpot

    It wasn't my study. There's a link there with a Wikipedia page and reference a therein
     
  34. RookeryDad

    RookeryDad Squad Player

    We may have an answer to that hardy perennial of the forum: Do the players read it?

    (Clue: top lip.)

    [​IMG]
     

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