Article About Marvin Sordell

Discussion in 'The Hornets' Nest - Watford Chat' started by Ghost of Barry Endean, Sep 10, 2018.

  1. nisman94

    nisman94 International Man of Mystery

    It's a very sad article that at least has some kind of a happy ending, but it highlights the stuff we hardly see behind the scenes and what drives a footballer to do certain things. Even though it's all too easy for us to say that "they're professional footballers, they should be used to dealing with x, y or z", the truth of the matter is they're human like us and have limits like we do. My eyes still light up whenever I see Sordell doing well (maybe because when I properly started getting into WFC we had the combo of Graham and Sordell and he's one of our own).

    IMO I think BBB sold Sordell to balance the books (even though it massively failed) and we would've probably ended up in administration before the season was over if we didn't. Of course, I could be really cynical and say that BBB sold Sordell because he wanted to pocket the cash (just hypothesising). I wonder what his career would've been like if he was still with us when the Pozzos came...
     
  2. Robert Peel

    Robert Peel Squad Player

    Interesting read, thanks. Mind blowing how some people and entire organisations still have such a negative and ignorant view of mental health issues.
     
    Cassetti's Beard likes this.
  3. SkylaRose

    SkylaRose Administrator Staff Member

    Poor Marvin. Glad he was able to get past it and find a way to cope. He is a talent and I really hope he continues to have a successful life on and off the pitch.

    We used to know him as, Score Dell.

    Always had time for fans abd he did well for us in the tine he played. Good luck Marvin in all your endeavours. XX
     
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  4. ITK platypus

    ITK platypus Squad Player

    Human beings aren't designed to live the bizarre lives footballers have. Must mess you up.
     
  5. oxhey67

    oxhey67 Squad Player

    Believe me, within NHS Trusts it is just as archaic.

    I'm currently undergoing therapy (again*) and it really is pot luck as to the attitude of who is treating you. I've had one amazing psychologist in the past, two excellent group therapy leaders and several wonderful link workers. There have been those who've been 'okay' too.
    But then there are those who have been treating me, and many others, who just weren't, and are not, fit to practice.

    I reported a consultant who was overseeing my care programme at the time and she was subsequently removed from the Trust. I had a group therapy leader who was removed after several months of causing more anxiety and problems than she could ever have helped because it turned out she'd lied about her qualifications. She simply shouldn't have been there in any capacity.
    In more recent times I've come across a doctor upon being readmitted to the Health Trust who ignored any previous notes and dismissed a whole host of new events (including a suicide attempt), changed my diagnosis and told me they couldn't treat my 'problem'. Despite making a complaint a little time later and getting subsequent feed back that he's 'just waiting to pick up his pension' from other staff members after being re-referred by my GP, he's still in a job.

    Where I get treatment the staff are very divided between those who genuinely want to help as opposed to those who see it as a job and nothing else. I don't really blame the latter, we're all just trying to survive at the end of the day. But because of the environment they're in, the consequences of the attitude to their job can be huge. And then there are those who genuinely don't seem to know what they're doing or, to try and give it a more balanced thought, have no idea how to do their job effectively.

    *I put an asterisk in my second sentence because many causes of poor mental health are never cured, they're managed. For me at least I can function to varying degrees but sometimes I slip and spiral downwards to a very dark place.

    So, if you're reading this and think a person you know is over their problem, it may be they're managing it better at the moment. They still may need your help or support at some point in the future and if that sounds a bit of a bind - imagine living constantly on guard against yourself for the rest of your life.
     
    Teide1, Norfhorn, PowerJugs and 32 others like this.
  6. tonycotonstache

    tonycotonstache Squad Player

    What a brave man.
     
    Bwood_Horn likes this.
  7. sydney_horn

    sydney_horn Squad Player

    Thank you for sharing that. People being open about the issues they face helps others who may be facing similar issues realise that they are not alone and can find help and treatment.

    The more this subject can be discussed openly the easier it becomes for people to deal with it.
     
    Last edited: Sep 10, 2018
  8. Ybotcoombes

    Ybotcoombes Justworkedouthowtochange

    Good article, can help feel sorry for him (not something I often feel for professional footballers)
     
  9. oxhey67

    oxhey67 Squad Player

    Cheers sydney_horn.

    I would just like to reinforce the mantra of it's ok not to be ok.

    I'd also like to say, despite the negative aspects I've painted about NHS Trusts, there has ALWAYS been someone with whom I was able to trust and talk to even when individuals within them hampered my treatment.

    If you're going through a tough time (and that doesn't mean you need to be suicidal) then I'd always implore you to find someone to speak with, or even to ask for help on your behalf.

    Again, it's ok not to be ok and there is no shame whatsoever in asking for help.
     
  10. tonycotonstache

    tonycotonstache Squad Player

    Had some awful experiences as a teenager and really lived my life at the time under the coda of Kurt Cobain, Richey Edwards and Ian Curtis.

    The NHS care was abysmal. Prescrption drugs and psychiatrists that couldn't or wouldn't unlock the reasons for my breakdown. Had a close friend look out for me and my family were amazingly patient and supportive as I began to open upvto them. Self harming was the problem and if I hadn't made it to 20 I doubt anyone would've been surprised at all. It turned out my depression was from glandular fever i had at 16. My body couldn't cope and just sort of broke.

    Now I'm 42 with 3 lovely kids and a nice house in a lovely village. Never saw that coming as a teenager. That friend that looked out for me then knows I'm forever grateful for his concern and understanding.

    If you know one of your friends is struggling. Talk to them. It makes a difference.
     
  11. Maninblack

    Maninblack Reservist

    Thank you for sharing that, a very moving testimony. I hope by doing so it helps you in some way as well as those who read it and read Marvin Sordell's story.

    Mental health illness is a ticking time bomb in the UK currently. The NHS can't cope (that's not to excuse the appalling service you've received from some in there of course). In the past nine months, SIX people I know have taken their own lives, five males and one female. In one case, suicide was suspected but the other five were clear. The most recent was a 20yr old delightful, witty, intelligent and musically gifted young man who I used to teach; his funeral was only last Friday. Two others were students at my school at the time of their deaths. It all just makes you feel so helpless.

    The more people like you (with respect, an 'ordinary' person) and people like Marvin (in the public eye) tell your stories, the more pressure there will be for things will change in terms of the amount and quality of support available. More importantly imo, the stigma of mental health illness (particularly in males) will reduce. All this 'man up', 'grow a pair', so-called banter has to change.

    If you (as in whoever is reading this) saw the BBC programme 'Stopping Male Suicide' - available on BBC iPlayer until 21st Sept - you'll know how powerful it is, particularly the stories around the young man who was the life & soul of his Sunday league football team who ended up killing himself. The programme highlights suggests something we can all do: Simply ask someone who appears down, depressed, not their normal self etc 'Are you thinking of killing yourself?' This would help prevent so many suicides. It's just one thing we can do. Whilst the quality of support in the NHS can sadly be variable, at least a door to support is potentially opened.

    Thank you again, Oxhey67.
     
  12. Sahorn

    Sahorn Reservist

    Marvin and Danny Graham kept Deeney out of the team/played on the wing. Great days.

    You never know what’s going on inside people and the move to Bolton away from his family and support base can make a huge difference, especially young men with money to burn and time to burn it on who knows what.

    As a player Marvin’s career didn’t seem to take off the way I thought it would.
    It’s another reason why a manager like GT can make a huge difference (eg the way he looked after Digger), and the players welfare is now hopefully looked at much more seriously. - especially as we have young foreign players away from their home, support network and mother tongue.

    Clarke Carlisle, Aaron Lennon, there have been other high profile footballers suffering and the PFA have arranged many counselling sessions with players so some help is available, if that help is sought.

    But of course it may not be enough.
    Someone very very close to me didn’t survive the dark pit she was in and took her life and the effects are felt by those left behind for many many years.

    Well done Marvin (and Oxhey and TCM) for volunteering this into the public domain. The support you will inevitably receive will I hope be a great source of strength, and good luck with the book.
     
    Last edited: Sep 10, 2018
  13. The undeniable truth

    The undeniable truth First Team Captain

    Amazing thread guys. Startling stat MiB. I mentioned that to my wife who is "high up" in an NHS trust. She said their A&E admits about 6-7 attempted suicides EVERY night. Every night. That is just frightening. I've never known anyone struggling with depression but more likely I just haven't known they were struggling.
     
  14. oxhey67

    oxhey67 Squad Player

    Thank you for the positive responses to my post.
    I had no intention of being quite so open but hopefully it'll show anyone who's suffering in silence that they aren't alone in what they're feeling. The circumstances may well be different but that isolation, that sense of separation from those closest to you, is felt by others too.

    Also that you'll be surprised how many people have experience of bad mental health, either directly or indirectly. Marvin Sordell, mine, tonycotonstache and Maninblack's experiences have shown very quickly how it touches peoples lives.

    Here's a NHS link with site's specialising in mental health problems such as Mind, Samaritan's and SANE as well as less well known ones. Telephone numbers are also included (where applicable) if you feel the need to talk to someone and aren't able to confide in a friend or family member at the moment.

    https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/stress-anxiety-depression/mental-health-helplines/
     
  15. Teide1

    Teide1 Squad Player

    Best of luck ongoing Oxhey67 keep posting your info on here (football related or not) it is most welcome and respected!
     
    LR67 and oxhey67 like this.
  16. 352

    352 Moderator

    Proud of Marvin. A good man.
     
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  17. RookeryDad

    RookeryDad Squad Player

    Ox, thanks for your wonderful openness today.
     
    oxhey67 likes this.
  18. I Blame Pozzo

    I Blame Pozzo First Team

    That's a very powerful article.
    Good wishes to you oxhey67 and TCM and anyone else who suffers.
    It could be any of us.
     
    oxhey67, Happy bunny and LR67 like this.
  19. cyaninternetdog

    cyaninternetdog Forum Hippie

    Not all mental health issues are bad. If you havnt suffered from mental health issues living in the world we do then maybe you are the ill one? Some people view the world from outside the box and are considered "ill". Seen some stuff persoally that if I discussed in wider circles would get me sectioned, but, it is there, it is real.
     
  20. cfdr0ftaW

    cfdr0ftaW Academy Graduate

    oxhey67 likes this.
  21. Witneyellow

    Witneyellow Reservist

    Marv certainly didn’t want to go. I chatted with him as I was lucky enough to be a guest in hospitality at his last home game when ho won MotM.

    He said all the right things about staying but also hinted that things were going on in the background that he felt he had little or no control over. BBB was lurking around too and Marv seemed to keep checking where he was before he said anything.

    I was quite surprised to see him playing for Burton at Oxford the other week but in view of that article good on him!
     
  22. Otter

    Otter Gambling industry insider

    He's been at Burton for a few years now.
     
  23. FromDiv4

    FromDiv4 Reservist

    Marvin Sordell has retired from football at the age of 28.
     
  24. Arakel

    Arakel First Team

    Have to say, I didn't see that coming 9 years ago. Very unfortunate.
     
  25. Optimistichornet

    Optimistichornet Penguin Assassin

    Very tough for him. All the best Marvin, you were a hero for us at times.
     
  26. Happy bunny

    Happy bunny Cheered up a bit

    A shame, but he says he wants to help others with mental health issues so hopefully it's for the best all round
     
  27. Burnsy

    Burnsy First Team

    His statement should be a wake-up call for the footballing authorities in this country.
     
    Happy bunny likes this.
  28. wfcmoog

    wfcmoog Tinpot

    Sending him a bro hug. I remember him getting slaughtered on social media once for missing a penalty. Wonder if keyboard warriors would be so bold if they realised the actual effect they are having on other humans.
     
    Leighton Buzzer likes this.
  29. WillisWasTheWorst

    WillisWasTheWorst Its making less grammar mistake's thats important

    For some reason whenever I think of Marvin I remember that great day at Miilwall when he scored one of our 6 goals. And it makes me smile. Good luck to him.
     
  30. I Blame Pozzo

    I Blame Pozzo First Team

    Good luck Marvin.
     
  31. sdc_watford

    sdc_watford First Year Pro

    All the best Marvelous
     
  32. Leighton Buzzer

    Leighton Buzzer Reservist

    Yep, and I'm afraid to say, applies to a lot of the folks on this forum as well.
     
  33. wfcmoog

    wfcmoog Tinpot

    I think there's a difference between posting on a forum and @ing someone in a tweet and calling them a bottler or a loser.
     
  34. Stevohorn

    Stevohorn Watching Grass Grow

    Exactly why anyone in the public eye should refrain from using twitter.. if you ask me.
     
    wfcmoog likes this.

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