Bargain Hunt

I must say, I often find episodes on here more enjoyable than on the BBC.

 

Guinea-pig is the nearest I've heard.

 

this is very poor from the BBC. Just been on Iplayer to look at "up coming" episodes - not a Dizzie to be seen. Nothing up and nothing coming then. Just not good enough. and there's another bl00dy "special" compilation soon "all things trains" god help us!

 

hmm. BBC or not?

 

Hawley on AGAIN. Aaaaarrrrgh. The Fool, Bingo, and andy Flat-roof emporium Stowe too.

In Hele, but al least it's not Mumbling Mary.

Married couple. BAME box ticked again.

We're Married Retired couple.

New Concrete Hawley for sale:



She wails them Hello.

Made from cast or mold/mould/With a lens.

Hande Hoch, it's Jericho. Surrender your eardums NOW!!!!!



Generous Clive and his mate again.

Bingo dressed like a secondary school teacher this time.

Woolies Homemaker tableware. Nice.

H****n Haymaker nightmare. Allegedly.

Bawley looks like she's ready to go riding after the shop. God forbid.

More generous discounting from Clive. I do like this place. The model Antiques Centre.

 

BBC = Big Black Cough Crow? Cough.

Branching out into some Gonzo film making to make ends meet, so to speak. Ahem.

 

Hopefully be OK with Clives 75% discounts

 

Big is Best Brags Bingo.

Ian now. Equally generous. Yup.

Ian Lavender and Clive Dunn. That's how I will now remember their names. Don't panic you stupid boy.

Hawleysplaining = slow, loud, patronising, Yorkscentric references.

If we can't get a profit on that I'll get me coat says Bingo. Depends on the Auction youngish man.

DO YOU WANT IT shouts Hawley. Husband John must be familiar with those words, tone, and volume.

Hand Pump upcycled lamp. Hideous. Generous discount.

Reds buy toilet roll holder, decanter, soup ladel.

Red Bird looks younger than Red Bloke. No wonder he talks with a speech impediment. Must struggle for breath at times.

Homemaker tableware, magnifying glass, upcycled lamp are for the Blues.

Lace making. Net curtains or nice lingerie?

Looks like it might be the former.

In those days ........ referring to last week.

Indeed she says. Her catchphrase, Indeed.

That upcycled lamp looks like a Victorian penis pump.

 

Where is it connected? Andy Stowe is enjoying its pleasures already.



Quirky, upcycled. All the buzzwords.

His Auctions are always enthusiastic.

Covid emergence sale.

Urgh that outfit for the Auction. She grimaces like we all are doing.



Loo holder profit. Decanter loss. Ladle profit.

Safe brooch from Hawley. Spider brooch like the prorogue law lady.



It makes a decent profit.

They finish 16 notes up.

Bingo changes to a colourful hankerchief and tie combo.

Homemaker profit. Nice.

Profit on the magnifying glass.

Now that bloody lamp. It falls 5 short.

Cigar extinguished by the bloody lamp.

Bingo BB is a nice 9ct Gold Bloodstone pencil holder. Nice. Potential bargain. 80 notes. Doubled its money.

Big profit.

They end on +77 GBP. Good performance all helped by the generous Ian and Clive.

Only let down by that bloody lamp.

 

Foot in mouth time for Foghorn.

 

Time Tunnel journey back to June 2023. Two teams of tat sifters are lost in the swirling maze of past and future ages during the first experiments on Daytime TVs greatest and most secret project: The Jumble Tunnel. Who-He Oldman and Doug Grave-Fillit now tumble helplessly toward a new fantastic adventure somewhere along the infinite corridors of time…, but more and likely a race course, large field, compliant Antique Centre, Scout Hut.

Reg:
The fool rambling on about random things. He's spent too long in the sun.

70s Sex film incidental music.

SHRIEK, SHRIEK,SHRIIIIIEEEEEKKKKK!!!!!!!

Toilet roll holder for the sh1te items.

Concrete Lion eyesores.

Well weathered = shabby eyesores

Senile Blue lady haggles upwards.

Why does she need to see whether she would use it to buy it?

Yer, Sheila (Red lady) you tell him.

Good buy/bye you will do very well with it (the decanter) says Arthur Daley the centre manager.

Annointing spoon. Arise Lady Foghorn.

Harefield:
Here we go again ! Dealer to have Antique Centre owner's knackers for earrings off screen.

Reg:
Just like going down the Electronics Shops on Tottenham Court Road and saying I'm not paying that. How much with Debit Card? How much for Cash?

Upcycled fire extinguisher lamp, the new anglepoise.

How did this machine make such a difference says the idiot. It helped cut costs. Duh.

Flat roof emporium time.

He's been good in the past.

Charl-eh would pay 20 pounds for a bit of fun.

What is Jericho wearing!!

A real thud on the gavel.

Harefield:
Good grief, WHAT is Foghorn wearing, a pair of recycled 1970's curtains ?

Auctioneer has the charisma of a wet lettuce.

Reg:
He's better than most.

Moog:
Yeah, he was trying to be positive about every item. I think that's important. Creates the right mindset.

Blues unlucky with the blowtorch lamp.

Nice bonus buys today.

Reg:
Tarantula Tartan Hawley with her spider brooch.

Nice Victorian pencil.

Marine Boy earned his stripes with that excellent Victorian pencil. Foghorn over-indulged with her Yorks decanter. That outfit had 70's technicolour yawn styled into it. Too much acid even for a hardcore 90s raver.

Yikes!!!




Not a million miles off.



@OldTraff78 Victoria Valentine is now on BBC News Channel doing the Business Report.



She was on for about 5 secs as her report got hijacked by Millionaire Spiv Sunak in an Ikea Warehouse.

 

Re-up from June last year with additions.
BBC approved preamble:
Hele 2
Series 60
https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m0011fg6
Charlie Ross is in Hele, near Exeter, as experts Caroline Hawley and John Cameron steer the red and blue teams towards the best items and battle it out at auction in Bristol. Charlie discovers a link between Strictly Come Dancing, the Mars landing and an 19th-century inventor.

The Translation:
Today the posh fool wonders where the hell he is or should that be Hele or Heela, he doesn't know, he gets so confused these days, what with what old school tie to wear, which way round to wear his Long-Johns, did he remember his rubber incontinence pants, the lists are endless. Helping him remember, what day of the week it is and to remind him he might need the toilet are Bawley Hawley, even the posh t1ts failing aural equipment can pick her up and Bingo who can advise him not to be sealed into a homemade bathtub pretending to be a submarine gawping at an underwater Titanic-style cemetery rather than gawping at Titanic-size losses. Auction is with Andy Stowe, he of the Flat-roof Auction Emporium that looks like it sits sandwiched between the local Costcutter convenience store and the Black Hole of Calcutta Tandoori Takeaway, in a parade of shops from a 1970s council estate fighting precinct.

The Staff:
[Gaffer] Omnifool Charlie The Tool Ross, Stupidus dementium
[Red Team Expert] Caroline Shrieky Blindus Hawley, premiering an item from her Maydayline, Maybe She's Born With It (the third t1t and pointed ears) Anal Prolapse Tartan.
[Blue Team Expert] John Marine Boy Bingo Cameron
[Auctioneer] Andy Flat Roof Emporium Stowe
[Auction Location] East Bristol Auctions Ltd, Hanham.
[Miserlin Rating] Unlisted

​

The Teams:
[Red Team] Married Care Agengency Manager wifey (BBC BAME box ticked) and retired Chip Cobb stunt antiques restorer hubby who's quite deaf. What was that? Set myself on fire?
(Challenge: Made from a cast or mould (mold if The Squeak was involved)
[Blue Team] Retired Married couple, she haggles upwards.
(Challenge: With a lens)

The Shopping:
Reds: Cast iron toilet roll holder (10 Challenge) good, 1901/2 Sheffield silver collared glass decanter (70) struggle too topend, George III London silver soup ladle (101) struggle but a chance.
Blues: 1950s/60s Homemaker (Woolies) pottery set (50) good, Mother-of-pearl handled magnifying glass (11 Challenge) he spies a profit, Upcycled retro fire extinguisher lamp (75) OK, he likes it, thinks it will make a profit.

The Distraction:
Charl-eh discovers a link between Strictly Come Dancing, the Mars landing and an 19th-century inventor. No, it's not one of those strange dreams he has due to his new medication. With the old tablets his slumber often portrayed him as a missionary observing dancing naked native African girls who suddenly transform into cows on wheels ridden by Mickey Fab MP, he of the infamous shower cap scandal at the turn of the century. Freud would have had a field day, Sigmund not Clement. While he fumbles and dribbles we learn about lace-maker John Heathcote and his partner Victoria Secret-Playtex. He discovered that by making crotch-less lingerie he could use the cut outs as hankies, socks, or gloves.. Charl-eh's eyes bulge and he fills his man-nappy. Time for a long rest.

​

The Auction:
Reds: Cast iron toilet roll holder (2 note profit), 1901/2 Sheffield silver collared glass decanter (loss), George III London silver soup ladle (small profit).
Jericho's BB is a 1921 Charles Horner silver and blue topaz spider brooch (55), 60-80, 80. Foghorn shrieks out a 25 note profit.

​

Blues: 1950s/60s Homemaker (Woolies) pottery set (nice profit), Mother-of-pearl handled magnifying glass (decent profit), Upcycled retro fire extinguisher lamp (small loss).
Bingo's BB is a Cased Victorian 9ct gold and bloodstone mechanical pencil (40), 50-80, 80. Fantastic buy John.

​

The Aftermath:
Decent auction for this neck of the woods with positive, enthusiastic, so important for a seller of anything, gaveller. Online only and Antique Centre shopping rather than a fair, makes it all the more challenging. However, we do have the very generous Clive and Ian helping out with their very generous discounting. Clive, the Tartan/Plaid-wearing Arthur Daley-style manager sets the overgenerous tone. Reds sunk by a Hawley-prompted decanter. What on earth was she wearing for the Auction. I know Paisley can be loud, but that was screaming American tourist poor taste. Designed by some over-medicated 60s designer on a bad trip. Other items made small profits and for once Foghorn produced a nice BB brooch which made a good profit and they took home 16 notes. Better than average for Jericho. Good day for Bingo and his Blue Team. Some decent items sourced including some nostalgic Woolies pottery and a vintage magnifying glass but let down by an overpriced skip-bound upcycled lamp, a Squeak-special. His BB was superb, your BH colours well and truly earned earned today John, with a lovely Victorian pencil which made an excellent profit and bacon was definitely brought home with a 77 note extravaganza.

​

The Hi-Kick:
Indoor Covid diagonal kick. Unfortunately, it's a close view of Hawley's Paisley Puke Suit with good kicking from everyone with those furthest away from the camera being slightly later. Yes, YES!!

​

 

thankful for a high camera angle for once...

 

can I just clarify, to be absolutely clear, my perceived influence over the BBC scheduling of BH repeats as discussed on here sometime ago is not /was not / never has been real. I have no influence in that department whatsoever, as should by now be blatantly obvious. (see me recent thread comments). ITS NOT MY FAULT!!

 

The lovely Sofia Bettiza currently on the BBC News Channel. She has my very full vote of confidence and would appreciate her opinions on my sizeable majority.

 

Why is Jimmy Krankie on again?

 

I first read that as "all things trans"
Only a matter of time, i guess...

 

She was the originator of the deal for more Greens in the Scottish chips with everything diet. It's now been rejected as they didn't last long in the deep fat fryer.

 

Welcome to my world, Our science has been hijacked



Also searching for a Scientific ontology term for Microbial community, I get this as one of the Top Hits.



It's a jungle out there That GSSO resource (GSSO - the Gender, Sex, and Sexual Orientation ontology) has a whole sub-section giving official definitions and meanings of whole raft of sexual perversions. The things we do for Science.

 

i daresay BHers might deem a trans woman to be 'an upcycled man'...

 

Uncle Eric pumping with a prop from Ken Russell's The Devils by the look of it.



Catherine doesn't no which is which. Strange she doesn't usually have that problem, she just goeasall in.

What is an NHS Guardian?

Loaded question from Sarky to point Blue Bird off a silver question.

Catherine likes rivets in fact she loves a good old rivetting.

How generous to knock the 95p off.

Not a Clive and Ian centre.

Catherine likes a textured handle.

Very lacklustre.

Haggling that increases?

 

Awful discounts today. Those onyx bookends are a surefire loser.

 

'You've been very kind to us, John,' Catherine lies as John gives them a huge £6 off the £35 ticket price of a £10 compact.

 

I'm going for zero profits on any items today. Awful. Poor teams set up to fail by a production team who booked them into a terrible antiques centre to do their shopping.

 

very 60s and 70s today.
(Green onyx! what next; avocado sink?)

Am now thinking about 70 s twins...

Southon looks such a frump. grey hairs, lack of makeup, dishcloth dress...what a state. come on, woman, shape up: moog is here and watching!

 

Catherine has spunked it all on that cruet. LOL.

You can hear a pin drop says Blue Bloke.

12 notes for a Jaeger necklace. Welcone to Skinflints, Young and Misers.

 

=="What is an NHS Guardian?"

The sworn foe of a BUPA Telegraph?

 

"it's been sliced up, then mounted"

As opposed to the reverse, which would be more Trangressor style.

 

Bluebloke splits sides over own lame gag - which someone else had already made.

Who edited this dismal edition?!

 

2 lacklustre teams. Even Sarky struggled to spark some life. Mind that Eagle wouldn't have looked out of place in the Chippenham Wokesbunker Auction rooms.

Randy Catherine had to excite herself with handles and spunking all the dosh on that expensive box.

Terrible Auction. The usual 25-40, standard estimate and 40-60 standard expensive item estimate. Then A Dutch Auction for most of the items with single or double pound increments. Risible.

The whole vibe for today's edition was pedestrian.

The only excitement being Eric salivating over sausages and a sausage festival. Who would not love that?

 

another "better on the WFC forum than on the BBC" episode.

 

Oh no.....

 

Samantha Simmonds and her sexy eyebrows now distracting me on the BBC News Channel.

 

Catherine dreams of squeezing into this. The Transgressor dreams of squeezing someone's lifeforce out in this.