Bargain Hunt

n.b. Second appearance here in a week for Our Diane.
Two more calls than she ever got in the House last week, poor thing.
Stick with us, luv. Equal Opportunties rule here.
(viz. All minorities get the mick taken...)

 

Christina indulges in some Kock play fondling.

 

Lobby Cards I:

 

Lobby Cards II:

 

This was put under the microscope last June .........

Reg:
Christina carving a large fertility symbol.

Large scarf = large parkiness.

Graduate ecologist = unemployed ecologist, those shelves need filling.

Retired Village of the Damned Blue Team

They obviously don't trust male contestants around Christina.

Trilly and Madders.

Flight and Nature. So they don't gibe the Nature challenge to the Ecologist lurking Red Team. Usually they match interests with Challenges.

Trilly finds another butterfly wing.

A job lot of empty plant pots. A Squeak special there.

Gary's Teapot lamp without the teapot or the lamp masquerading as a cake stand.

Large Kock.

4 note frog. LOL

Some real tat today. Village of the Damned grannies are sniffing it out.

What do you do with Bon Bon dishes?

Why not get a pair of bunnies then. Duh.

@wfcmoog Cream Jug for you. Might be too small.

Another double-ender possibly French. Snigger.

Trilly knows her silver and jewellery.

Red Graduate Bird loves the silver jug. I'm sure Moog could fill it up for her.

What are you going to do with the money Richard.? Buy some large drinks and have a nice nap.

Doesn't a beard tickle?, asks Christina

That Dragon carving is pretty amazing.

Gets Christina laughing very dirtily which is always good.

Christina is going to give a hand tool demo. Blimey, cold shower time.

The google-eyed transgressor.

He's got his Edward VII beard. The Prince of Wales will see you upstairs.

Wine taster for administering the Rohypnol.

He loves the Frog. It's enticing. Particularly for potential victims.

Empty COVID auction. Couple of phone people.

That was not the cat that got the cream coos Christina.

Nice travelling clock from Trills. very stylish. 20 notes. Surely a profit.

The transgressor loves the Red Leather. His eyes fixate and glaze over.

Jesus. It wipes its face. Terrible auction today.

Telephone bidder or is it the usual heavy breather.

Village of the Damned GG incoming?

Job lot of silver, needs to do a ton. Falls short.

Get the wheelbarrow to wheel it in jokes our hostess with the mostest.

Madders is gives VOD grannies an Oz snapper reel. LOL.

That a beast for Phishing says the G-E-T.

It makes a loss. They won't hurt you. I promise says the Gorgeous one.

OT78:
ha. init.
== He's got his Edward VII beard.
Eddy being a noted perv in his time.

taller bluebird..isn't she in eastenders?

Blonde redbird has made my day.
What a saucepot. lovely late 60/early 70s look about her.
Bardot meets Mary Hopkin via Babs from Pan's People.

Reg:
Yes, she was very modest, non-attention seeking too.

OT78:
like nice pretty girls used to be, before some d*ckhead discovered "empowerment"

You wouldn't catch Lovely Redbird twerking to Beyonce

Reg:
Should be They (VOD grannies) won't hurt you (much).

OT78:
Love it when Madeley is on with Princess. I share his first name, so hearing her continually cooing 'Richard...' is quite the thrill.

that whole sequence when Transgressor talked about kissing a frog and turning into a princess...wtf: did i dream that?

Trilly's travel clock was marvellous. Cheap yet luxurious nostalgia.

Reg:
Christina: Hmm. Now, I challenged them to find an item with a connection to nature. What do you think of the frog?
Lurker: I love the frog!
Christina: Do you?
Lurker: I love the toad. I love it.
Christina: Have you given him a kiss?
Lurker: Well, no, not yet. It hasn't turned into a princess quite yet.
Christina laughs dirtily.
Christina: But is there a market for him in an antiques auction?
Lurker: Well, I think so. Actually, I think he's a little older than most, which puts me right off him/her/it.

OT78:
BBC Filth. Ring the Daily Mail.

Reg:
Reward for a nice bit of carving.



Subtle bit of eyebrow raising during the valuations.



OT78:
good grab! rare to see her chomping her lower lip like that.

errr, not that I study and log her every gesture and expression, of course

That would be perverse.

Reg:
There would need to be some form of descriptive logging and scoring system. Internationally approved and ratified.

Christina handles so much wood today.







Some bonus tongue action.



OT78:
Matched by Madeley at one point - his lizardy tongue stuck out and waggled, with upturned pointing flourish.
Quite disgusting.

Probably masonic/new world order signalling at play.

Reg:
Yes, it was quite bizarre. Tasting the air? Professional Stamp Licker? Trying to put off the unflappable Christina?

https://wfcforums.com/index.php?attachments/****otongue-jpg.19599/

OT78:
Desmond Morris would definitely have had something to say on that.
I am guessing it's a sign of latent aggression, or of lust.
(Or, as is often the case, a heady combination of the two?)

 

Re-up from last June with additions.
BBC approved preamble:
Oswestry 29
Series 62
https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m0018zzy
Christina Trevanion and experts Kate Bliss and Richard Madley take today's teams antiques hunting in Oswestry, Shropshire, before heading to Stratford-upon-Avon for today’s auction. Christina discovers how a trained sculptor made a name for himself with some extraordinary wooden carvings.

The Translation:
Sex-god Christina Trevanion and her handmaidens Trilly Posho and the hirsute Madders grace us with their serene presence at the latest Tat Bazaar at the Oswestry Showground on the English/Welsh border. Then it's time for the divine presence to descend on Stratford-upon-Avon which might mean the Auctioneer is shifty-eyed playground-lurker Mark Ashley, the softly spoken bespectacled deviant, the man in the raincoat with the deep pockets loitering around the swings before heading off to his Rillington Palace to polish up on his St John's Ambulance method of clothes loosening and 20 different things you can so with rubber tubing.

The Staff:
[Gaffer] Christina Trevanion, the face that raised a thousand gavels and other things
[Red Team Expert] Kate Shrilly Trilly Bliss,
[Blue Team Expert] Richard D1ckko Madders Madley not Madeley
[Auctioneer] Mark Asssshhhhhley, with his collection of vintage ventillators
[Auction Location] Christie Hut, Stratford-upon-Avon
[Miserlin Rating] Unlisted

​

The Teams:
[Red Team] Nursey grandmother and tidy, modest grandaughter.
(Challenge: Connection with flight)
[Blue Team] Retired female cousins, Village of the Damed grannies.
(Challenge: Connection to nature)

The Shopping:
Reds: RFC enamalled sweetheart brooch (45 Challenge) might struggle, Silver cream jug (75) might struggle, Silver wine tasting dish (20) Bargain.
Blues: Oval enamel and silver brooch (34) OK, Wooden Guiro frog (4 Challenge) Profit all day long, Set of Victorian silver dishes (99) struggle.

The Distraction:
Christina meets with a carver who show her his etchings. He has much wood on display. Not bad for a beginner he exclaims among the tossed off detritus.

​

The Auction:
Reds: RFC enamalled sweetheart brooch (loss), Silver cream jug (loss), Silver wine tasting dish (nice profit).
Trilly's BB is 1940s travelling clock (20), 20-30, got a chance, 20, evens stevens.

​

Blues: Oval enamel silver brooch (nice profit), Wooden Guiro frog (nice profit), Set of Victorian silver dishes (biggish loss).
Madders BB is an Australian 1950s snapper fishing reel (40), 20-30, might struggle, 30. Unlucky, as it was an interesting and unusual item.

​

The Aftermath:
The Edwardian-bearded Goggle-eyed transgressor presided over a Dead as a Dodo Covid auction with a couple of people on phones. Only 3 profits on 8 items says it all, despite desperate pleading from the bearded lurker. Both teams made small overall losses. Trilly's Red items never really got going. Madders Blues were let down by an overspend on a job lot of Trillitastic-style silver. However, Froggy came up trumps. It will be hopefully kissed in the Auction Room later.

​

The Hi-Kick:
Outdoor kick on grass. Good effort from everyone but Granny Red excels herself with a superb head kick showing that age is no barrier. Christina also gives a lovely Growler kick too. Yes, YES!!

​

 

Gorgeous Italian Journalist now on the BBC News Channel.

 

OMG someone had better find me a solid silver Georgian cream jug pronto!

 

Sofia Bettiza.

Been with the Beeb a decade, yet only now do they start putting her on UK screens. Think of what we have missed!

It will not surprise you to learn that I have been noting her for a while too.
Lovely voice and just the right amount of saucy accent.

Loves to fork, and can handle a big gooey mouthful...

 

We have all had a lot of pleasure from that episode's showings, all told. Roll on the next repeat!

 

Speaking of welcome repeats...

A brave move by ThatsTV2, who are smuggling this long-forbidden fruit into the schedule late tonight:

It Ain't Half Hot Mum Thu 28 Mar 10:10pm

 

Preggers Tash, Sarky, Gropey, Miser Young Auction. Baking theme?

Retired Consultant looks like a blind man.

Piece of glass Catherine not ass as she hangs round the neck of the only male contestant.

Risque compact says Sarky, who isn't interested in that sort of female.

 

Swampy sells them a frog doorstop.

Clinical psycho Red Bird looks like the Phantom from Inland Empire.



She wants a mechanical toy. Bzzzzzzz.

Sarky very droll again.

Action Man tank spotted.



Sarky is going to find something to put a smile on both the girls faces. I didn't know you swung both ways Mr Stacey.

 

@wfcmoog Do you want to replace the pendant with a pearl necklace?

 

During The Distraction,Tash scoffs the whole lot washed down with Pickled onions and a banana. Those cravings are relentless.

 

Not a good start in the Wakeman Auction. 50 loss. Welcome to Lincs PennyPinchers.

Froggy makes a small leap to reduce the loss.

Another profit but only on the chirpy cheap cheap items.

Are we glad to see these jugs again says a heavily t1tted Tash.

Stunned by the pendant. GG for the Blues too.

 

Back with yesterday's 70s pop blondes theme!

 

ooooh Catherine will be filling her own jug after that edwardiana result

 

John Bolton and Acolyte spotted again.

 

john selwyn gummer bidding from a (fittingly) green chair.
No beefburgers in sight.

 

Absolute class blue team.

Massive profit, Golden Gavels, went with the BB even though it was ****, because they wanted to give the expert a GG and then donated the winnings to charity.

Absolute world class BH.

 

Follow us for all the latest Goths?, says Tash. Really?

 

moog is overflowing!
Man the flood barriers.
Never seen him so excited.

Absolute cracker, tbf. A couple of tremendous items in there too. Plus a giddy happy Tash off her face on preggybelly hormones

 

Great Kick from Tash despite her burden.

 

Inner thigh exposure on Good Friday. What would Anne Widdecombe say!!!

 

She wasn't carrying Tubby or Foghawn today?

 

Bigtiddygothgirl Hunt?

 

Same as us: get some big wood and nail her.

 

(*looks at calendar*)

Galgotha?

i'll get me coat (of many colours)

 

BBC approved preamble:
Newark 25
Series 67
https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m001xpvg
It’s a family affair as Mark Stacey shops with two sisters in search of vintage toys, and Catherine Southon helps a father and daughter duo on a quest to find jewellery. Meet Grantham’s gingerbread man! Baker Alastair Hawken teaches Natasha Raskin Sharp about the resurgence of Grantham gingerbread, after it was invented by accident over 280 years ago. Can today’s teams make some dough of their own as they shop at Newark antiques fair before selling their items at Colin Young’s auction? Hoping their profits will rise are father and daughter doctors Kash and Ayesha on the blues team. And in red, hoping to prove themselves worthy of a golden gavel are sisters Ellie and Alicia. With expert Mark Stacey by their side, Ellie is in a spin over a child’s spinning top, but Alicia is not convinced. Meanwhile, the blues spot a pricey ceramic elephant-shaped planter, but Catherine says not on your Nellie! Keep watching until the end of the show for a particularly heartwarming win.

The Translation:
Back again at Newark Antiques Fair. We seem to be hear at least once a week these days. Judging by the progression of events, Tash may be yet even bigger and with more bizarre cravings such as Anchovy and Roses Lime Marmalade. Once again we'll have the Marky de Sark, delivering his painful put-downs and razor sharp observations, and Randy Catherine, praying to the BH programme Gods that she'll have 2 young and able men, and if that's not possible then one man of any description and an automatic washing machine on maximum spin will suffice. She's in luck it's a Medical Doctor Father, Doctor I feel incredibly flushed and have an itch I can't scratch, or some such excuse. As before, it's a trip to Getrinsed Gotstung and Mordebt with Rick Wakeman and his losing Prog keyboard gavel.

The Staff:
[Gaffer] Strict Natasha Raskin Sharp, Glasgow Southside enforcer
[Red Team Expert] Sarky Marky Stacey, the sleazy, slurry somnambulist, he has been known to enjoy a pansy
[Blue Team Expert] Catherine Southon, super dull, super useless, super randy
[Auctioneer] Colin Rick Wakeman Young, Your Clutter Our Future
[Auction Location] Golding Young & Mawer, Lincs
[Miserlin Rating] Approved

​

The Teams:
[Red Team] Sisters Ellie and Alicia are in search of vintage toys. See Catherine on the Blues Team, she may be able to help. Cough. One is a clinical psychologist, Hannibal Lecter's niece.
(Challenge: Piece of silver)
[Blue Team] Retired Consultant Father and Junior Doctor Daughter, is it a strike day?, Doctors Kash and Ayesha (BBC BAME box ticked), they want to find jewellery.
(Challenge: Piece of glass)

The Shopping:
Reds: Art Nouveau Heart-shaped silver buttons (130 Challenge) OK, Stuffed frog doorstop (11) Good, Vintage Stratton risque lady Compact (20) Good.
Blues: Moulded glass parott paperweight (5 Challenge) Bargain, Norwegian silver and enamel brooch (65) Fine, Boxed 9ct gold Peridot pendant (75) Wise investment.

The Distraction:
Meet Grantham’s gingerbread man! Baker Alastair Hawken teaches Natasha Raskin Sharp about the resurgence of Grantham gingerbread, after it was invented by accident over 280 years ago. Hopeful not another half-baked non-story. Tash's own bun in the oven was put in there after a good kneeding followed by a proven method of filling with special custard all to the drone of bagpipes.

​

The Auction:
Reds: Art Nouveau Heart-shaped silver buttons (50 loss), Stuffed frog doorstop (17 profit), Vintage Stratton risque lady Compact (8 profit).
Sarky's BB is the Pair of Mid-Victorian Ceramic wash Jugs from earlier (60), 25-40, 30. Oh dear 30 loss, they don't even wash their faces.

​

Blues: Moulded glass parott paperweight (35 profit), Norwegian silver and enamel brooch (20 profit) GG on, Boxed 9ct gold Peridot pendant (145 profit) GG thrust high in triumph. 220
Randy's BB is a Early 20th century Silver swan pincushion (90), 80-100, oh dear Dutch Auction, 80. Close but no fat cigar.

​

The Aftermath:
Lovely beaming Tash. Surely not long to go now. Sarky on good form and Catherine hiding hidden talents. Rick Wakeman Auction so the portents were not optimistic. Sarky's Reds up first and the ornate buttons big spend suffers the usual fate at a Godawful Young Miser Auction. So, after the big loss, 2 smaller profits on the less pricey items. Their fate is then sealed with Sarky's jugs punt, which fly in the air and smash on the floor with a 30 note loss. An apologetic Sarky licks his wounds over a 55 note loss. So, we prepare for the worst with Randy Catherine. She doesn't have a great track record does she, not even a good one. The glass paperweight for a fiver couldn't go wrong and the well-haggled Scandi silver brooch made a decent profit. So the GG was on. Surely not, but could it be? Well from the first bid of 130 notes online it was clear it was going to fly with multiple buyers desperate for it, and the necklace, and it flew to a princely sum of 220 notes. A 145 stonking profit. Everyone is completely stunned, a superb acquisition, she does seem to know her jewellery, unlike Tubby. Gropey then produces a nice but still quite expensive pincushion which the Blues generously accept as they want Catherine to get GG glory too. It deserves to make a profit but falls a tenner short. Still a whopping 190 overall profit. A record profit for Catherine as an expert and a record total overall profit of 135 for Colin Young too. Shame for the loss on the BB as she would have joined the exclusive 200 club to go with her membership of the 0.0124275 mile high club, having been shagged half way up an oak tree.

​

The Hi-Kick:
Standard indoor kick. Very pregnant Tash still does the business with a lovely high kick. The only one who disappointed was Blue former consultant but he can be forgiven with his very generous charitable donation. Catherine really gives it some. She's going to be on fire later. Yes, YES!!

​

 

Freeview stalking or should that be stalk on?

 

BH Top Trumps. Christina trumps everything.