Things you hate III

"I know I am, I'm sure I am... I think I am...?"

 

A rare treat today as all the kids were off on adventures/working/shoplifting etc so me and Mrs Diamond took a cycle down the canal tow path to a nice little pub about 4 miles away. About a mile in we came across 3 women walking a vast array of dogs of all shapes and sizes, so being the decent people we are we stopped and waited for them all to pass. Not a word of thanks, in fact, not a single word of any type, no eye contact, nothing.

Because the Mrs was with me I let it go, but on the way back I literally prayed we'd come across them again coming towards us. They didn't.

 

Loss of the crown jewels from the BBC. Frustrating that on one of the best days of sport neither the final day at the open of German Grand Prix shown live.

On a completely different tack get very frustrated when getting my lunchtime sandwich that self checkouts clogged up with people with trollies full of goods despite there being of checkouts with no queues.

 

Professional dog walkers. Focused on the job, Don’t give a **** about anything/anyone else.

 

Time, he flexes like a whore
Falls, *******, to the floor.

 

IBB has warned us about Harpenden.

Sounds a frightful place.

 

Toxteth, Brixton, Harpenden. I hear life expectancy is only 37 now in Harpenden.

 

ok, 39 then.

 

On this subject, dog people.

Not people who own a dog. Not people who like dogs. People who are insane about dogs and can't see the difference between canines and humans.

Apparently it's 90% odd of people from what I can tell on social media.

Put up a story about children being murdered and you'll get some outrage.

Put up a video of someone shouting harshly at a labradoodle outside of Aldi and a million people will be ready to do a life sentence to kill the *******.

 

Well, that seemed to draw a blank.

For those who didn't spend portions of the early/mid 70s clutching a copy of Aladdin Sane, this is a reference to the ineffable Bowie's Time.

For a livelier discussion of the topic:



(Subtitles are a bonus.)

 

I got it. Just wasn’t sure where to run with it.

F & L sketch is a corker.

 

Same with cats. When that old lady dropped that cat in a wheelie bin people went mad and hounded her out of her house, while people live in poverty and are abused to no reaction.

A lot of cat owners are selfish idiots anyway. They want to have Tiddles to stroke and play with for a few minutes a day and the rest of the time its off defecating in people's gardens who have no say in it.

 

what about people who see a cat run over? They expect the driver to stop and go around knocking on doors until they find the owner. Like it's the responsibility of the rest of us to look out for their feral pets.

 

There’s no such thing as a cat owner. Cats are people owners.

 

Spoken word poets.

 

If you hate cats you need to live with one and it will change your mind. I was always a dog lover and cat hater due to their general indifference, selfishness and wildlife assassination. However you live with one and realise what makes them tick, how smart they are, how they trust no-one, how a part of them will always be independant and wild, and how adorable they can be when you accept they are very different from dogs and fully understand the relationship. I now find them far more interesting than a plain old loving "faithful partner" you get with a dog. Put a cat in a new environment and it is terrified for days until it susses out every inch. Put a dog in one and they just want to run round and explore. Chalk and cheese.

 

As a ten year old with a copy there were certain lines in ‘Time’ I didn’t quite get.

 

Someone wrote something like, dogs assume because people feed them and look after them that people must be gods. Cats observe the same and assume that they must be gods.

 

I had a crucial 3 years on you.

Busy time, hormonally.

First album I bought & I still know every word.

Mike Garson’s playing on the title track hinted at whole musical worlds beyond the Sweet & Slade.

 

Underrated album imo. I hope you had the gatefold sleeve.

 

We are becoming a very ungracious nation.

 

Masturbation & floor coverings would two natural routes.

Best kept separate.

 

That is a statistically small sample & for all we know the action might have taken place in the outlier which is Harpenden.

 

I certainly did.

Unwittingly, I'd requested it for my birthday so it was my mother who got the first eyeful.

For weeks after she flashed it at anyone who came to the front door.

You don't get this with streaming.

 

I've been observing British people in Southern England for sometime now and I can reliably inform you that half of them are a shower of ***** who would run you over on a zebra crossing soon as look at you. They spoil it for the other half, who are polite, gracious and believed what they learned growing up about fair play and manners. And this is not a class thing at all.

 

Is now an appropriate time to allocate forumites to their respective buckets?

 

Apologies in order.

I’ve carelessly mixed up the Bowie thing with my ‘Dahlberg in 3rd choice goalie outfit’ forum exclusive.

I’ll post the Bowie thing momentarily.

 

Until a cat has a human spayed, I'd say that's a myth

 

I don't hate cats. I like them just fine in their place. The wheelie bin.

 

More humans, more servants.

 

Travel insurance.

It was only when I got to the declaration of existing conditions that I realised how ****ed up I am. Don't smoke kiddos and stay out of the sun.

 

People with really crap e-mail signatures.

Either have a good one or don't have one at all