Swiss Army Knife

Discussion in 'Taylor's Tittle-Tattle - General Banter' started by swiss army knife, Jul 10, 2018.

  1. swiss army knife

    swiss army knife Academy Graduate

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    Hello everyone, I decided that it would be nice to have one for myself, but I do not know anything about them, can you advise something?
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 10, 2018
    swiss army knife, Jul 10, 2018
    #1
  2. Stevohorn

    Stevohorn Watching Grass Grow

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    Join the Swiss army?
     
    Stevohorn, Jul 10, 2018
    #2
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  3. The undeniable truth

    The undeniable truth First Team Captain

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    Just because you are in a London drugs related gang and are worried that the next postcode's gang are knife carriers, doesn't mean you need to stoop to their level. If confronted try reciting some of the old testament to your potential slayers.
     
    The undeniable truth, Jul 10, 2018
    #3
  4. UEA_Hornet

    UEA_Hornet First Team Captain

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    Yes. Whatever you do, don't cut the red wire.
     
    UEA_Hornet, Jul 10, 2018
    #4
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  5. PhilippineOrn

    PhilippineOrn First Team

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    What does the Swiss Army do all day if they are neutral?
     
    PhilippineOrn, Jul 10, 2018
    #5
  6. Diamond

    Diamond First Team

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    Strange avatar m8, wots that all about?
     
    Diamond, Jul 10, 2018
    #6
  7. The undeniable truth

    The undeniable truth First Team Captain

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    Open cans of veg and beer, and carve graffiti into trees with their clever little knives ?
     
    The undeniable truth, Jul 10, 2018
    #7
  8. inayellowshirt

    inayellowshirt From the other place

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    I used to sell them.

    I'm not Swiss

    Or in the Army

    Nor were the people that bought them
     
    inayellowshirt, Jul 10, 2018
    #8
  9. Bring Back Standing

    Bring Back Standing Reservist

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    And dig holes in Swiss cheese?
     
    Bring Back Standing, Jul 10, 2018
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  10. wfcmoog

    wfcmoog Tinpot

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    I'd go for a Leatherman or a Gerber instead. You're welcome
     
    wfcmoog, Jul 10, 2018
    #10
  11. cyaninternetdog

    cyaninternetdog Forum Hippie

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    Wait, is this a not so clever ploy to get people to click your link?
     
    cyaninternetdog, Jul 10, 2018
    #11
  12. PhilippineOrn

    PhilippineOrn First Team

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    Brilliant ruse if true.
     
    PhilippineOrn, Jul 10, 2018
    #12
  13. Stevohorn

    Stevohorn Watching Grass Grow

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    Ive always wondered about the Swiss navy. Apparently they have one.
    Do they have to carry their boats around? If so they must be extremely fit especially given the mountainous terrain.

    PS Maybe they decided to become neutral after comparing their pens knifes against countries with nucleur capabilities?
     
    Stevohorn, Jul 10, 2018
    #13
  14. hornmeister

    hornmeister Tired

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    Even clevererer to dump the link but hijack the thread.

    I've fancied one for a while.
     
    hornmeister, Jul 10, 2018
    #14
  15. Bloke

    Bloke Reservist

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    There's not a single record of any horse in the Swiss Army having a stone in its hoof.

    ....having said that, Leatherman all day long (cos it sounds a little bit rude!)
     
    Bloke, Jul 10, 2018
    #15
  16. La_tempesta_cielo_68

    La_tempesta_cielo_68 First Team

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    In which case can I suggest the Leatherman Squirt model sir
     
    La_tempesta_cielo_68, Jul 11, 2018
    #16
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  17. Bring Back Standing

    Bring Back Standing Reservist

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    No - Hannibal showed them the secret all those years ago. They have a National Herd of elephants...
     
    Bring Back Standing, Jul 11, 2018
    #17
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  18. Bwood_Horn

    Bwood_Horn Squad Player

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    *Stolen from the ARRSE.
     
    Bwood_Horn, Jul 11, 2018
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  19. KelsoOrn

    KelsoOrn Squad Player

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    I've always carried one.
     
    KelsoOrn, Jul 14, 2018
    #19
  20. Oscar calling

    Oscar calling Squad Player

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    They should have plenty in the Vatican as the Swiss Army mind the Pope.
     
    Oscar calling, Jul 14, 2018
    #20
  21. another_mrlizard

    another_mrlizard Squad Player

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    So it's not just football you're perpetually wrong about then?
     
    another_mrlizard, Jul 15, 2018
    #21
  22. Oscar calling

    Oscar calling Squad Player

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    Are you suffering from stomatitis Mr Lizard?
     
    Oscar calling, Jul 15, 2018
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  23. wfcmoog

    wfcmoog Tinpot

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    I have literally no idea what this thread is about.

    That's it. I'm getting all my general banter from Reddit from now on.
     
    wfcmoog, Jul 17, 2018
    #23
  24. The undeniable truth

    The undeniable truth First Team Captain

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    They have great info and links for friendlies too. Superb site. But you need the secret handshake from Powerjugs or Reids before you're allowed to join.
     
    The undeniable truth, Jul 17, 2018
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  25. another_mrlizard

    another_mrlizard Squad Player

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    Am I what, you complete prolapse?

    Did you just close your eyes, open a dictionary, point to a random word and post it?
     
    another_mrlizard, Jul 18, 2018
    #25
  26. Oscar calling

    Oscar calling Squad Player

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    Yawn! You must be the weirdest poster on this forum.
     
    Oscar calling, Jul 18, 2018
    #26

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