Newcastle United 0-3 Watford FC - 25/11/2017

In the absence of a match thread rota etc etc ...

Saturday's opponents find themselves in a mini slump having lost 3 on the spin. Looking at their squad, their mid-table position seems pretty impressive, as they don't seem to be any stronger than the last season in the Prem when we beat them thrice. The one major factor that has changed of course is that rather than Schteve being in the dugout, Rafa Benitez is at the helm (slightly puzzlingly, as Mike Ashley has not been particularly supportive, and Rafa might consider he deserves better having stuck with the club in the Championship.)

Rafa Benitez with wife Edith, yesterday​

Notable playing additions since we last played them is arse-faced but talented winger Guy Ritchie, who having been binned off by Madonna was free to move to the grim North-East, Madge having previously told him that she was not moving from the Sandbanks mansion next door to best mate 'H'.

Wingman Guy Ritchie
​

One player who was around last time, of course, is sometime England midfielder Jonjo Shelvey. Interestingly, he has worked with Ritchie before advising on bareknuckle fighting culture for the film Snatch. Famously volatile, our fancy-dan midfielders should have no problem provoking a yellow card or two, or at least forcing an early subtitution

Jonjo Shelvey
​

As for the game itself, a full house of travelling Hornets should make it a raucous atmosphere; a new Premier League ruling should ensure that a few of them are close to the pitch, and avoid the nosebleeds and vertigo that come with climbing the 14 flights of stairs to the third tier of the Gallowgate stand, to which away fans have been traditionally consigned.

Hopefully after-match entertainment will be provided by Mr T Geordie,

​

Good luck to all those travelling. Although normally the welcome is warm in Geordieland, they do in fact have the worst behaved fans in English football, so be respectful! http://www.mirror.co.uk/sport/football/news/newcastle-united-revealed-worst-behaved-11572581

 

Current Newcastle team news:

Lascelles and Atsu injured
Isaac Hayden suspended
Merino and Dummett doubts

Ideally Merino will miss it as he seems to be their main creative outlet

Sent from my G8141 using Tapatalk

 

Big fan of the Geordie people and the city itself. Shame I can't make this one. Those defensive injuries on Newcastle's part are promising; we should now score as many goals as we will leak.

 

Im surprised we didnt get Pardew in earlier in the week to work with the players before Saturday, because of that I think we will struggle fml

 

I've genuinely no idea if this is a good or bad thing, as I've never heard of any of the ****s!

 

I am sure that, as they slip down the league, the Geordies will draw immense comfort from the knowledge that they are top of the banning order table. You gotta love these guys. Comfortable away win. 0-3

 

Very fine GOBE,very fine indeed.
'You stupid woman!'
I do hope our chaps avoid MR's pencil,that looks like the one Blackadder III had in the Dr Johnson episode!
Contrafibulations again!

 

Rafa = Rene had never struck me before. Brilliant! Thanks for that.

 

“No disrespect but.... Whawtfud .... “

.... to carry on where we left off with the loveable Geordies.

Brown Ales 1 Whawtfud 2

Shelvey red card - the Wotfud forum GOBE satire is too much and Jonjo’s boiling blood pressure is taken out on our classy midfield.

 

If Dummett is back for them at LB, I feel sorry for him. Your first game back against a fully fit Richarlison is no easy task.

Would be great to get Dummett and Shelvey booked early.

Pressure will be on the young ref though. He can’t succumb to the pressure the home fans will put him under. Newcastle are a dirty team and he needs be strong early on. Obviously if Holebas or Britos go diving in, he needs to be lenient.

 

Already on my way up, indeed I've been at sea for 3 weeks so I hope it's a good match!

Newcastle are a weird one, basically Championship quality players with a World Class manager who is inexplicably still there. We have a lot better players than them, but it wouldn't shock me if Rafa pulls a number on our less experienced manager.

The priority of course is to maintain our record of scoring exactly 2 goals in every away game. Does anyone know if our current run is a record?

Prediction: Newcastle 2-2 Watford
Ritchie (90+1), Shelvey (90+6); Richarlison (23), Doucoure (57), Cleverley missed pen (90+3), Cleverley missed pen (90+9)

 

He's more likely to give their RB a torrid time.

 

Looking forward to seeing Jonjo Shelvey playing...



He's coming for you
He's coming for you
Harry Potter
He's coming for you

 

Yeah good point. Brain fart moment.

 

Quick quiz question .... who were the last team to do the treble over them? .... no cheating now.

 

This seems pretty unrealistic.

I'm just not sure platypus can survive in salt water for that long.

The scoreline on the other hand is likely to be spot on.

 

some team called whufud

think the full name is fee fooks sake whufud

 

Anything less than a comfortable win and Silva can **** off. We've got to be beating the likes of these.

Fair play to Leonardo Bonito, he's got a team of championship players fired up and doing ok, but if we can't take these to the cleaners with our squad, then I will drive Silva to Everton' s relegation dogfight myself.

 

Have you been incubating your egg?

 

Excellent write up GoBE.

I had them down to really struggle this season (which they may well do yet of course) but they have done quite well so far, albeit dodgy recently but fair play to them. This said I genuinely don't think they have a very good team, Lascelles is good and will go far (but injured for this one), not sure many others would get into our match day squad. Uncle Festa has managed to develop from overrated promising youngster to massively overrated liability with anger management issues, an achievement without even having Pulis to guide him through the process.


Still as they are only playing Watford the pressure will be on them at home, reckon that will play nicely into our hands, comfy 2-0 'orns me thinks. If I remember correctly wasn't there some talk of pygmies and giants in their relegation season, slaying time again boys.

 

Tsssk. What sort of Premiership fan are you exactly.

• Lascelles (ex-Nottingham Forest second division clogger)
• Atsu (Type of sushi often enjoyed by players post match)
• Isaac Hayden (US Singer most famous for 'Theme from Shaft')
• Merino (Breed of sheep renowned for its wool)
• Dummett (Geordie slang - a person who's not very bright)

 

Merson has us for a win - 1-2.

Lawro has us at 1-1.

 

https://www.watfordfc.com/matches/fixtures-results/2015-16/newcastle-1-2-watford-highlights

 

Apologies to any false hope given in the opening post - http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sport/fo...6/Newcastle-away-fans-gods-St-James-Park.html

Take your crampons and ice axes.

 

One of my memories from going there as an away supporter was the amount of people who had puked on the way up those stairs. However the bar at the top is worth the climb.

 

We should put in a bid for their right back.

 

Wouldn't get in our 11

 

This may be sacrilege* but I think we should stick with the back 3. Newcastle will surely get numbers behind the ball and the 3-4-3 gives us almost five upfront at times with the wing backs so far forward. One change, Prodl in for Britos.

*sacrilege being the mention of tactics in a match thread

 

Surely they won't sit back and defend at home?

They have to come at us a little bit don't they?

 

Yep, the ghastly fat wretch they have in charge will underestimate us for sure. He is one arrogant terd, so will think he can brush aside little watford and so will set them up to attack.

4-0 us.

 

Bit surprised by some of the reporters again, didn’t they learn their lesson 2 seasons ago.

Multiple Newcastle reporters labelling this a “very very winnable game.” Most have even outlined their 4-4-2 formation and described it as a team that should brush Watford aside easily.

I hope their players turn up with the same attitude as their reporters. If they think they can just show up on Saturday and win because it’s only Watford, that plays perfectly into our hands.

 

I have seen some Newcastle supporters warning though that an easy win can't absolutely be taken for granted.

 

He's very injury prone, I believe

 

I think that they will give us a tougher match than any of us expect, and Rafa sets his side up so that they are hard to beat.

I'm going to be conservative and say 7-0 to the Hornets.