Isaac Success

Discussion in 'Former Players Archive' started by UpUpAndAway, Oct 2, 2016.

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Success in or out

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  1. La_tempesta_cielo_68

    La_tempesta_cielo_68 First Team

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    Do you think we could ask the witch doctors to have a go at ****ling Iggy so he can't play?
     
  2. Nnnn

    Nnnn First Team

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    not by me they ain't
     
  3. molly

    molly Reservist

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    So every time you see the Archbishop of Canterbury or the pope on the news, you have a good old chuckle at how ridiculous they are?
     
  4. Nnnn

    Nnnn First Team

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    Yep. that's about it. Ridiculous & laughable.
     
  5. Bwood_Horn

    Bwood_Horn Squad Player

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    A bit drastic as Baron Samedi is:

     
  6. Ghost of Barry Endean

    Ghost of Barry Endean First Team

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    Was at a (very Christian) funeral service a couple of weeks ago. Whilst I could see that the nonsense being uttered by way of hymn, prayer, and dedication was of great comfort to many there, legalised opiates would be a better way to go, as less likely to lead to sectarian violence and random killings of innocent civilians.
     
  7. Leighton Buzzer

    Leighton Buzzer Reservist

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    Would seem it is not Zuniga or Amrabat, as they both made the squad for the Spuds match.

    From WD Sports I copy and paste.

    We have agreed to not to name the player for fear of giving Stoke the heads up and because Mazzarri needs all the help he can get right now, but we can reveal one of the half-a-dozen injured senior players who didn’t make it against Tottenham Hotspur travelled with the squad to the Potteries yesterday, despite not training for at least a week. Mazzarri, we are told, wants the player to start in a bid to halt the slump and prevent a seventh defeat in ten matches.
     
  8. cyaninternetdog

    cyaninternetdog Forum Hippie

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    Just when I thought this couldnt get any weirder.
     
  9. Chumlax

    Chumlax Squad Player

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    Blimey, there are some edgy kids in this thread, eh?

    (Sceptical agnostic btw, in case that concerns anyone)
     
  10. molly

    molly Reservist

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    Good on you. Thought it was just me...
     
  11. wfcmoog

    wfcmoog Tinpot

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    People are joking about but this all makes more sense than the **** I've been watching recently. They've also cursed Ighalo to be **** and Okaka and anyone else in our squad with vaguely African heritage. And Behrami and Watson and Britos.
     
  12. BusheyOrn

    BusheyOrn Reservist

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    perhaps we could have an exorcism carried out at the Vic and the training ground?
     
  13. Arakel

    Arakel First Team

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    ****ing Katie Hopkins.
     
  14. Optimistichornet

    Optimistichornet Penguin Assassin

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    [video=youtube;UNAr5tzZxdk]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UNAr5tzZxdk[/video]

    walter needs to learn the words asap, if he sings and dances all our injury woes will end.
     
  15. Optimistichornet

    Optimistichornet Penguin Assassin

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    i also think this needs to be edited with all our injured players in it. someone get on it.
     
  16. La_tempesta_cielo_68

    La_tempesta_cielo_68 First Team

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    Matthew Briggs never let us down by being injured
     
  17. Nnnn

    Nnnn First Team

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    which doctor?
     
  18. Timbers

    Timbers Apeman

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    Could this be the behind doors issues that Slough_Orn reported on in the WO comments? Barry Fry has been seen near the ground at the massage parlor on Market Street, was he perhaps getting the old boy stretched ready to expel the curse?
     
  19. Arakel

    Arakel First Team

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    No, he let us down by not being injured.
     
  20. Nnnn

    Nnnn First Team

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    Matthew Briggs - still the youngest "footballer" ever to "play" in the Premier League
     
  21. GoingDown

    GoingDown "The Stability"

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    Breaking the Curse Of Success

    Can we all follow the below steps to ensure Isaac is back for our make or break game with Boro. Thanks.

    Items needed: a photo of Isaac Success (the target), a tub of water large enough to submerge and wash the target (or enough water to wash down the area if a location), a large quantity of sea salt.

    Best times: New Moon, a Thursday, noon, midnight, dawn, dusk (any time associated with transitions).

    1. Fill the tub with water. Temperature should be comfortable for a long soak if the target is a living thing.

    2. Open and hold up the container of sea salt.

    3. Clear your mind and say the following words while concentrating on what they mean to you. Say them slowly, confidently, and meditatively: "In the names of my ancestors, my gods, and myself, I call upon thee, oh creatures of Earth and Water. Come forth, cleanse "name of target" of all evil and alien magicks, and restore them (me, it) to balance and health. By our wills combined, so mote it be."

    4. Pour the salt into the water. Use a lot.

    5. Keeping your mind in that calm and meditative state, submerge or wash the target slowly. If you are the target, get in the tub and simply lay back and soak. Relax. Let everything slip away.

    6. Do this for at least ten minutes. When you are done, drain the water away down the drain and rinse it off the target. It is absolutely necessary that all of the sal****er is washed off of the target!

    7. When you are done, say the following in the same way you did step 3: "I thank thee, oh creatures of Earth and Water, in the name of myself, my gods, and my ancestors. Be released to your homes, doing no harm on your way, and return to me with glad hearts when next you are summoned. By our wills combined, so mote it be."

    The downside of this is that it is limited in its scope and power and that sometimes it won't be able to defeat a more powerful curse. If this happens, seek a professional to help you, because you won't be able to deal with it without real training.
     
  22. hornetboy1

    hornetboy1 First Team Captain

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    I think we should dig up Nicholas Breakspear and bury him somewhere else.

    It worked for Leicester with King Richard III.
     
  23. I Blame Pozzo

    I Blame Pozzo First Team

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    This is an excellent idea although once exhumed I would play him upfront on Saturday.

    He will probably be more mobile than Deeney and spend less time on instagram than Ighalo.
     
  24. Oscar calling

    Oscar calling Squad Player

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    Will probably get injured in the warm up!
     
  25. hornetboy1

    hornetboy1 First Team Captain

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    I will have a shirt with Adrian 4 on the back.
     
  26. wfcmoog

    wfcmoog Tinpot

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    WD sport have said we've gone cold on the idea and are looking at exhuming Rodrigo Borgia instead.
     
  27. Keighley

    Keighley First Team

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    Gone back to his villa, m8.
     
  28. La_tempesta_cielo_68

    La_tempesta_cielo_68 First Team

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    what happens if we make a mistake?

    Does he grow another limb or get covered in warts?
     
  29. wfc4ever

    wfc4ever Administrator

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    **** in the corners of the pitch like Birmingham did all those years ago!
     
  30. wfcmoog

    wfcmoog Tinpot

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    Can we not get Al Bangura's dad to work his magic? He went oo ee oo ah ah ting tang walla walla Bing bong didn't he?
     
  31. Otter

    Otter Gambling industry insider

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  32. Cassetti's Beard

    Cassetti's Beard First Team

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    Taken from someone's tw@tter on the side bar thingy.

    Genuinely have no idea what they're on about

    [​IMG]
     
  33. GoingDown

    GoingDown "The Stability"

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    Kieren on Twitter seems to think he's slagging off the head coach. Normal people do not.
     
  34. wfcSinatra

    wfcSinatra Predictor Choker 14/15

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    Definitely looks that way.
     
  35. GoingDown

    GoingDown "The Stability"

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    I don't speak jive.
     

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