Things you hate III

Any statement made by Russia. It's embarrassing now.

 

Great sound if you are a gardener. Slimy bastards.

 

It's the inevitable search for a stick and the time taken to prise it out of the treads that's the real b1tch.

 

... without shoes on, and then that slimy feeling between your toes.

 

I've just seen a man in his 40s wearing a pair of Heelys shoes and skating along at Euston.

I hate him, the infantilised attention seeking moron.

 

Danny Kelly.

 

Decorating.
I'm good at it but I hate doing it and get no satisfaction from the end result.
Sadly, finances dictate I have to do it rather than get someone in. Hate hate hate.

 

I'm awful at DIY and the wife often pays someone to repair the shocking effort I tend to put in.

 

I hate the fact that I've just looked on Amazon and they don't do them in my size.

 

I agree with this. I’ve just been doing loads to my house and it’s so tedious, everything always takes 3/4 times longer than you think it will too. The thing is I’m more than capable of doing most things around the house, so I resent paying somebody to do it when I can just do it myself. Then I moan about spending all weekend painting or whatever it may be!

 

People who have babies and then regularly post crap on Facebook along the lines of, OMG I can’t believe my baby is a month old already, where has the time gone!

Pull yourself together, it’s a month FFS! Do you realise the universe is 13.8 billion years old?

 

Empty taxis are now at the top of my hit list. Got stuck behind another one this morning doing 15mph as he's nothing better to do than dawdle along in rush hour. I have now made a permanent vow, the next time a taxi in a hurry is behind me, (obvious because they're up your backside and have a license in the windscreen), then I'm going to be a practising new driver.

 

People who stick their hands out at the golf, (as an example), wanting the player to give them a touch as they go by. If I was the player I'd have my hands firmly in my pockets rather than touch any persons hand who may have been scratching their backside 5 seconds earlier.

 

Not as bad as when your dog is having gastric issues and as left one just where your foot lands when you swing your legs out of bed. Which is worse - fresh and warm, or, as this one was, a middle of the night job that has since taken on the icy chill of the dawn?

 

Road works where no road works going on........
Last night a massive queue of traffic adding 30 mins to my journey caused by a short 100m of coned off road and badly phased traffic lights

 

Slid on cat sick once on a laminate floor. In my head I thought I nailed the slide like Tom Cruise in risky business. Pretty sure the end result was I looked like Basil Fawlty

 

You win.

Having already successfully banished all snails from the bedroom, you have now strengthened my resolve to never allow a dog in either.

 

This reminds me of the time I was putting the recyling out. Put the recyling bin lid on the kitchen floor whilst tying the bag up. I took a step back without looking and planted my foot on to the up turned bin lid. This made me skid across the kitchen floor with the recyling bag flying up into the air in the process behind me. The slide was halted by an open kitchen door edge which I split my head open on. I then fell backwards dazed onto the now broken jar in the recycling bag cutting my the side of my arse cheek.

I wouldn't mind except for the fact I was sober so it bloody hurt and there was no one about to capture it on video so wasn't even worth £50

 

Snails, slugs, cat & dog puke are nothing compared to putting on a pair of old trainers in your bare feet to be confronted by a dead mouse, (that appeared to have been there for some time). Even now, many many years later I shake all footwear before putting them on.

 

Victor Meldrew? skip to 1hr 16m

 

Deserves its own thread does this.

 

Speaking of dead mice - a couple of decades ago we used to own one of those microwave ovens with LCD. One day I noticed some small insects scurrying around behind the display screen, so investigated - unscrewing and removing the casing revealed the source to be a dead but perfectly preserved mouse. Somewhat irrationally, my wife refused to use the oven again & insisted that I dump it. Around £400 that mouse's death cost me.

 

I was mowing the grass at my Mum's about 15 years ago in my bare feet (yes I know that probably wasn't the brightest idea) when I stepped in something a bit wet and slimey.

Was a mashed up frog I'd just accidentally gone over.

 

My dog once stole 2 chicken breasts out of the food waste that had gone off and turned green. He threw one up in the hall that I found when I got home. The other I found a few hours later.... Thrown up in our bed.

Sandals. French toilet (hole in ground) that auto flushes when door opens and closes. Polite person holding door open. Flushing at wrong time. Faeces around sandals. Think the scene is set.

 

Cheating referees

 

That's why any dog of mine slept in the kitchen and was never allowed upstairs!

 

Snowflakes.

 

Putting that weather behind us now.

 

Having to waste time sitting through a webinar (internet browser based tutorial) on something completely un-related to my daily job. When I've got far to much to do and have said webinar interrupted and hence lengthened by morons asking stupid questions and then having to give a straight faced review of said webinar to my boss.

 

Sour grapes.

 

Flower patterned drapes.

 

Raindrops on roses
And whiskers on kittens
Bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens
Brown paper packages tied up with strings