Things you hate III

Being late for work seems to be tolerated much more now than it was when I started work 30 odd years ago.

I had a new manager start last year, she lives 10 minutes away and was late on her first day stating ‘oooh, I can’t do early mornings’. It’s and 8am start ffs, nothing early about it.

She still breezes in at 8:20-8:30, signing and puffing stressing about the meeting that is about to start, disrupting my work by wanting a conversation about what happened to her last night or at the weekend.

 

Meetings. Nothing will actually get done unless you get off of your lazy ass and physically do the job. Talking about it will not get it done.that is not work.

At work we’ve recently had an area refurbished and I swear more hours were spent discussing the changes than the builders spent actually doing the job. Waste of time and an unnecessary expense for the company.

 

That's poor management.

 

I can’t disagree with that but now I’m going to be late in because I’ve be sitting and eating breakfast typing this!

Still, nobody will know as my manager won’t stroll in until 8:30.

 

Lines like this:

"The key differentiator in the decision-making process was the applications ability to give the end user a great user experience throughout the process and their easability to scale with our business needs."

 

The saying 'if you're 5 mins early you're 10 minutes late' springs to mind

 

One morning just move her chair to your desk, when she enquires simply say, "It was after 9am and I didn't think you were coming in today".

 

Haha, is that really genuine? Good grief if it is.

We chose it cos it wuz easy to use.

 

Does anybody have a transparently made-up story about themselves, intended purely to address a deep-seated and desperate need for acceptance from a group of strangers?

Ideally, if it could involve some bawdy high-jinks, involving staring down a teenager's cleavage at the barber's, or "accidentally" lifting a woman's skirt with an umbrella, so much the better.

 

Goodness me I have loads. Sheeit, where to begin...

 

I have some sympathy for these people if they do leave 20 minutes earlier each day, but their train is taking 20 minutes longer each day, causing them to still be late, despite eventually never leaving the office.

 

People who sit in the big posh seats at Wembley near the dugouts/subs benches*. All corporate types it seems, no matter what the occasion most of them are NEVER in their seats when the second half kicks off. No doubt too busy quaffing champers and eating prawn sandwiches with their little fingers sticking out to care about the match. "Quick, do hurry dahling, the second half is starting! Oh do hang on, another plate of those delightful canapes has just turned up, hwah, hwah!" The empty seats look ridiculous.

*Not that dugouts/subs benches are that any more, they all get nice comfy leather seats, no doubt heated. Another thing that you wouldn't see today is GT's example - he wouldn't have a cover for the benches until the Watford fans had a covered stand.

 

TBF I wouldn't exactly have rushed back to my seat to see that load of bollox last night either...

 

Announcements on planes. I don't care what model of Airbus this is, our cruising altitude or airspeed (presumably the same as normal speed). The weather in our destination right now is of little interest, since it's 3 in the morning there. I don't want to buy some expensive tat from a trolley. I just want to watch my film without constant interruption

 

I like a little nap no matter where I'm flying. With the "cheaper" airlines they tend to make nice loud announcements an hour or so from the destination asking for you to buy one of their "scratchcards". They probably wonder why they don't sell that many.

 

The group of 6 or 7 that sat in front of me yesterday (2 adults, some teenagers and a couple of kids). Arrived late - about 5 mins after kick off - then decided to swap seats with each other, then off to get drinks and food, then off to the toilet, then up and about again for god knows what reason, and did exactly the same in the second half and left early. Did everything but watch the game. What was the bloody point in going???

 

Season ticket holder next to me arrives 5 to 10 mins late for every game, why? Had an American with 2 kids close to me with new purchased shirt, disappeared at half time and did not return for 2nd half, bizarre


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Try not to take it personally!

 

I turned on google maps this morning to see if the M25 was worth using, (it wasn't), and up pops the character from "Where's Wally". WTF? Apparently you can play "Wallys" round the world game.
Can whoever had this idea please f*** off.

 

That car coming towards you in daylight with their full beams on and a huge queue of cars behind them. You know every driver will have flashed them or waved out of their window but the clueless tw*t will be in their own little world.
I just love getting stuck behind these people in rush hour as well.

 

I always take some earplugs and an eye mask. You look a total k*** at 11am but so what and you can drift off and forget that there are 8 other humans within a foot of you as you hurtle through the air in a metal tube which is much much heavier than the air beneath it.

 

Thanks. Just played this. Found wizard whitebeard instantly, then Wanda, then Wally and the dog last. So much fun.

 

I hate remembering that fact halfway through every flight and contemplating my mortality and vulnerability for a few minutes.

 

Work.

 

Liverpool fans. Never in the wrong. Ever. Even tonights behaviour will be played off as 'passionate'. If it was Millwall it would be condemned universally.

 

I think that may have been the WFC bench.

Quite a lot of Portuguese being spoken?

 

My current umbrella of choice is a shorty collapsible.

It takes the nerve of a bomb defusal expert to pull off the skirt move with that.

 

I’m told it becomes Where’s Walley in WD postcodes.

 

Merits a two goal penalty.

Match tampering.

 

To be said in a Miranda voice.

 

I had Moog as a bit of a Bernard Cribbins myself

 

Burnley

 

That crunch you hear when you realise you've just trodden on a snail.